Jennette McCurdy recently spoke with The Cut about her memoir and love for Disneyland.
She described the theme park as her "ultimate safe place" while enduring abuse as a child.
The 30-year-old noted that she still visits today and has an "obsession" with all things Disney.
The former Nickelodeon star, who released her memoir "I'm Glad My Mom Died" on Tuesday, recently spoke with The Cut about the book. She also went into detail about trips to the California theme park, and said she has a "deep obsession" with Disney.
"I went to Disneyland a lot as a child because my grandfather could sign us in for free, and when we were there my mom was less erratic," McCurdy, 30, told The Cut. "She became a calmer version of herself, and it felt like she was less on me in the hypercritical way she was everywhere else."
"It was this relief for me, a salve," she continued. "Back then, I never felt safe in my own home."
In her memoir, McCurdy says her mom controlled her friendships, encouraged her eating disorder, and gave her "breast and 'front butt' exams" during showers.
"She says she wants to make sure I don't have any mysterious lumps or bumps because those could be cancer. I say okay because I definitely don't want cancer, and since Mom's had it and all, she would know if I do," McCurdy says in her book.
She also wrote that, at the time, she would imagine Disneyland while undergoing the "exams" to mentally escape the abuse.
"I have a loose theory that I think people who are intensely obsessed with Disneyland come from rougher upbringings and maybe had a lot of responsibility on their shoulders and felt like adults earlier than they should have so there's some need to live out their childhood," she told The Cut.
McCurdy is still a Disney fan today, as she told the publication. She said she watches Disney vloggers at night and is "lovingly" teased by her friends.
"Disneyland was my ultimate safe place, and I think it's why I still love it so much to this day," she told The Cut. "I went to Disney World for my 30th birthday. Even though it's fake, I feel safe."
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