Jennifer Crumbley claims Oxford school 'failed my son and 4 families' in message to lover

Over the last week, multiple witnesses have portrayed Jennifer Crumbley as a cold and distant mother who showed little emotion after learning her son had carried out a deadly school shooting, and was even "irritated" at having to give her cellphone to police.

On Wednesday, however, jurors heard of a different side to Crumbley from an unusual witness: her ex-lover.

In a surprise move, Jennifer Crumbley agreed to let the jury learn that she had an affair and that she was exchanging messages with the man in the hours and days after her son shot and killed four students and injured seven others at Oxford High School in 2021.

That former lover took the stand Wednesday: Brian Meloche, a prosecution witness who testified about the numerous communications he had with Crumbley, how she messaged him about wanting "to die" after the massacre and how school officials "failed" her son and the families of the victims.

'I lost my son ... I have nothing left to live for'

“I’ll never be okay. I lost my son. He’s a murderer. And I’ll forever have to live with that. I’m not sure life is worth living anymore,” Crumbley messaged Meloche in December 2021, days after the rampage. “I have nothing left to live for. He was it.”

These messages were shown on Day Five of testimony in Crumbley's trial as prosecutors seek to hold her responsible for the deaths of four students killed by her son: Hana St. Juliana, 14; Tate Myre 16, and 17-year-olds Madisyn Baldwin and Justin Shilling. She and her husband, James, who goes to trial in March, are charged with involuntary manslaughter for buying their son the gun that he used in the shooting, and then never disclosing that to the school when given the chance.

Prosecutors say the Crumbleys ignored a troubled son who was spiraling downhill, but instead of getting him help they bought him a gun.

In messages with Meloche, however, Jennifer Crumbley blasted school officials after the shooting, particularly over their handling of a meeting to which she and her husband were summoned just hours before the shooting. Their son had drawn a picture of a gun on a math worksheet, along with the words: "The thoughts won't stop. Help me."

"They didn’t see him as a threat and (decided) he could stay in school, which is what he wanted to do. His f------ backpack was with him why didn’t they search it?!?” Jennifer Crumbley messaged Meloche on Dec. 3, three days after the shooting.

She also wrote “no officer was Notified and apparently there were threats and no one, not even us notified.”

“I don’t understand how the school was so nonchalant about this and prior threats,” Meloche wrote back.

“I don’t know. But it failed my son and 4 other families,” Jennifer Crumbley wrote.

“And also you two,” Meloche messaged.

"Yes," she wrote back, but added that her child is alive, "and he was responsible for the LOSS OF LIVES.”

What her messages do not mention, however, is that the Crumbleys did not bring their child home. Rather, they said they had to return to their jobs, and vowed to get their son help within 48 hours.

According to Meloche's testimony, Jennifer Crumbley had messaged him about being summoned to the school that morning, telling him that she had to go to the school for a meeting involving her son, and that she was "worried he was going to do something dumb."

School officials testified that they felt Ethan Crumbley was no threat to the school and that he was better off staying in school rather than being home alone as they were concerned he was sad and depressed. So the parents went back to their jobs. Their son went back to class.

Two hours later, he fired his first shot. He pleaded guilty to all charges stemming from the four murders and the seven other people injured, and has been sentenced to life without parole.

'I failed as a parent. I failed miserably'

Jurors saw multiple messages between Crumbley and Meloche that detailed the Crumbley couple's frantic days after the shooting, when they fled their home and took refuge in a hotel before hiding out in a Detroit industrial building, where they were ultimately arrested by a fugitive task force on Dec. 4, 2021.

“I failed as a parent. I failed miserably,” Crumbley messaged Meloche just after midnight on Dec. 1, 2021, the day after the shooting.

"You didn’t do this,” he replied.

“I’m scared,” she responded.

“I bet. You literally need to disappear once you are free to do so,” Meloche messaged back.

Asked by defense attorney Shannon Smith why he said that, Meloche said that he had been monitoring social media and saw negative comments and threats being made about the Crumbleys, and he wanted Jennifer Crumbley to stay safe.

“There were a lot of people saying horrible things,” he testified.

Jennifer Crumbley raised this concern as well, messaging Meloche: "We're painted as monsters. We're fearing for our lives."

Jennifer Crumbley, meanwhile, continued to question what happened.

“My son did this. I still can’t figure out where his brain snapped,” she messaged to Meloche on Dec. 1. “I want to die.”

During his testimony, Meloche echoed the same concern raised by the shooter's parents and school officials: "I wasn’t ever thinking a (school) shooting would take place. I thought he would hurt himself.”

How the affair surfaced in court

More than a year ago, Oakland County Circuit Judge Cheryl Matthews had ruled that any evidence about Crumbley's extramarital affairs — prosecutors allege there was more than one — would not be admitted at trial as she deemed such information irrelevant to the case and potentially prejudicial.

So when prosecutors called Meloche to the stand Tuesday, they had sought to question him only about the messages Crumbley sent him after the shooting.

But Smith wanted to question Meloche about his dealings with police and whether they threatened that he may lose his job as a firefighter and his pension if he tried to help Jennifer Crumbley after the shooting.

Smith argues that Meloche has changed his story to the detriment of her client because he was intimidated by police.

Assistant Prosecutor Marc Keast argued that if that happened, then prosecutors had the right to disclose to the jury that Meloche had an affair with Jennifer Crumbley.

Smith said bring it — "open that door."

"She had an affair. Lots of people have affairs. It doesn't mean you know your son is going to be a school shooter," Smith argued.

"I want to make sure you understand what your lawyer said," Matthews said to Crumbley. "I want to make sure that you are supportive of that."

"I trust her, yes," Crumbley responded.

Minutes later, her ex-lover returned to the stand, with the jury learning of the affair.

Meloche testified that after the shooting, police - during their questioning - told him they had evidence of Jennifer Crumbley lying about things, and talked to him about his job at the fire department, such as ranks, seniority and how he got to each position. He said an officer reassured him he was not in any trouble.

When Smith asked if he took that to mean his job or benefits could be on the line if he said anything favorable for Jennifer Crumbley, the prosecution objected, saying Meloche had said he was not threatened.

So the judge asked him a question:

“Did you take anything as a veiled threat?” Matthews asked.

“Yes," Meloche answered, "… that the information that’s now out regarding my relationship was going to be out publicly."

Jury sees footage of SWAT team arresting the Crumbleys, guns drawn

Jurors also saw dramatic video footage from the night the Crumbleys were arrested following a manhunt that included federal agents, local police and a SWAT team. A tipster had led authorities to a commercial building on Detroit's eastside, where the Crumbleys were asleep on a mattress inside an art gallery.

With guns drawn, a SWAT team entered the room and hollered instructions.

“On your f---ing stomach” an officer is heard yelling.

James Crumbley can be heard moaning and screaming.

“What’s your name?” an officer asks.

“James. James Crumbley,” he answered.

Once in handcuffs, James Crumbley is seen staring at the floor while about a half dozen officers roam about the room.

Tipster: cops arrived 'locked and loaded'

Jurors also heard from the tipster who led authorities to the Crumbleys: Luke Kirtley, a coffee connoisseur whose business was in the same building where the Crumbleys were arrested. He testified that he was aware of the school shooting and a poster with a description of the couple’s vehicle and its license plate number.

According to his testimony, Kirtley spotted a car in the parking lot that resembled the car in the wanted posters, so he walked around and got the plate number. It was also a match.

Then he saw somebody sitting next to the car on the curb, so he called 9-1-1, he testified, telling jurors he was "playing it cool." Soon after, he said, many cops arrived, "locked and loaded."

During cross-examination, Smith asked Kirtley if the person he saw sitting outside that night tried to run away. No, he answered, adding he did not know if the person saw him.

Searching for the Crumbleys

Lt. Sgt. David Hendrick, who oversaw a fugitive task force assigned to help locate the Crumbleys in the days after the shooting, described the manhunt.

Hendrick told his crew to first check the addresses of friends of the Crumbleys. He eventually learned the couple had gone to a hotel, but did not know which one.

On the afternoon of Dec. 3, three days after the shooting, the couple’s vehicle was spotted at an Auburn Hills hotel, but the couple had left the vehicle there and traveled to another unknown location.

The task force would then learn that another vehicle owned by the Crumbleys was spotted outside the industrial building on Detroit’s east side.

Surveillance was set up.

Dozens of police vehicles converged on the scene.

The couple was found at 1 a.m. Dec. 4. in an art studio inside the building.

On cross-examination, Smith asked Hendrick if he knew that Jennifer Crumbley had hired a lawyer before she was arrested by police and that her lawyer had filed an appearance in court documents.

No, Hendrick replied.

Jennifer Crumbley: 'He's going to have to pay'

Det. Lt. Sam Marzban of the Oakland County Sheriff’s Department was the first witness Wednesday. His job included identifying the shooting victims. He provided graphic details for the jury about what he encountered that day, including how one of the victims was still wearing her backpack when he found her in the hallway. She had been shot in the head.

“It was kind of surreal,” he said of the scene.

Marzban also helped secure a search warrant of the shooter’s house, after identifying him through items found in his backpack, including his cellphone. On it were texts from his mom: “Ethan don’t do it,” she texted about an hour after the shooting had been reported.

“Ethan, call me now,” read a text from his dad.

But by then, Ethan Crumbley already had killed four classmates and wounded seven other people at the school.

Marzban also testified about the demeanor of Jennifer Crumbley when he first encountered her at the family home hours after the shooting. He told jurors that he sought to seize the parents' cellphones because he believed they were relevant to the shooting, particularly the mom’s text: "Ethan don’t do it."

“She did not want to give me her phone. She seemed irritated,” Marzban testified, adding he explained that this was part of the investigation. He said her husband told her the police would eventually get the phone, so she turned it over and gave him the password.

"I could tell she was kind of frustrated," Marzban told jurors. "I told her there several dead kids … and that this was a significant incident, that it was on the national news and that the president had addressed it."

"Was Jennifer Crumbley crying?" Oakland County Prosecutor Karen McDonald asked the witness.

She was not, he answered, but recalled Jennifer Crumbley saying, "'Lives were lost today, and he's going to have to suffer.'" He said he found her choice of words "odd."

Under questioning by Smith, Marzban said he only took one phone from Jennifer Crumbley.

“When you were taking that cellphone, if that was her only phone, it would be fair to say she wouldn’t have a phone to use after that,” Smith asked.

“Yes, that’s why I suggested she go purchase another phone,” he said, adding he suggested she buy a prepaid phone and provide that number to law enforcement.

So that's what the Crumbleys did. They got prepaid phones. But just as her ex-lover had warned her: "Be careful what you type … the FBI is involved. They can access anything and everything.”

Testimony resumes Thursday.

Contact Tresa Baldas: tbaldas@freepress.com

Contact Gina Kaufman: gkaufman@freepress.com. Follow her on X: @ReporterGina.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: How Jennifer Crumbley's lawyer used defendant's ex-lover to help case