Jim Gaffigan on the "complex process" of keeping his kids' cellphones charged
There are simple annoyances in modern life. We've all woken up to discover our cellphone which had been charging overnight was, well, not charging overnight. And is dead. Or almost dead. Either way, an existential panic sets in. "Oh, no! How will your day go on without your phone? Is it even possible to go about your day without a charged phone?"
For most of us, the memory of discovering an uncharged phone is seared into our consciousness. Most of us. Just not my children.
Yes, my beautiful, intelligent children struggle with keeping a phone charged.
Well, I shouldn't say struggle; they make no effort.
To clarify, when say I children, I'm not talking about toddlers or newborns. I'm talking about teenage human-like creatures who somehow possess the ability to make Nintendo and Roblox purchases with my credit card, but somehow can't figure out how to insert a lightning cord connected to an outlet into a phone.
After repeatedly explaining the "complex process" of charging a cellphone to my "brilliant" children, my wife and I caved and bought some portable chargers. These are external batteries one can grab and use when someone "forgets" to charge their phone overnight. These external batteries were charged the night before, you know, how a logical person might charge their phone.
Anyway, my kids then take these external batteries, charge their phones, and lose them throughout New York City.
If I'm not painting enough of a maddening scenario, you should know this: On numerous occasions I've discovered my "brilliant" children sitting in their room near an outlet, using a portable external charger to charge their phone.
The outlet is right there! With a phone charger plugged into the wall! But instead they are using a portable charger which is…
Anyway, I love being a dad.
For more info:
jimgaffigan.com | "Barely Alive" tour dates
See also:
You have summer plans? Jim Gaffigan does notOn Father's Day Jim Gaffigan ponders the peculiar lives of childless menFrom laughs to ZZZs
Do you get incessant messages from politicians asking for money? Jim Gaffigan does, too
Jim Gaffigan is baffled over the mania for pumpkinsJim Gaffigan's advice to parents of young kids: It only gets worseSuper Bowl Sunday: The pageantry and the gluttony
Jim Gaffigan on 2022: The future is here!
What would Jesus want for his birthday?Jim Gaffigan on the perils of aging gracefully
On getting the whole lockdown thing wrong2020, please turn your notifications offJim Gaffigan on his first drive-in standup showOn living in a time warpOn acquiring a green thumbSummer memories, '50s style
Blondes' bad rap
Trial for Hunter Biden is "not inevitable," his attorney says
What could be the impact of naming special counsel in Hunter Biden investigation?
