Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Trump ‘ALL-CAPS’ing’ His Pants Over Pending Arrest

·1 min read

It’s now three days past Tuesday—the day Donald Trump promised us he would be arrested—and yet the former president is still roaming free. But Jimmy Kimmel swears that “the clock is ticking” on The Donald, whether he’s ready or not.

“Trump’s lawyers have reportedly told him that if he gets indicted in New York he should be prepared to lose the case,” Kimmel told viewers on Thursday night. “Which means he’ll spend the next three years claiming he won the case.” And while the grand jury is out until next week, meaning #IndictmentWatch will have to wait until they reconvene, Kimmel doesn’t think that Trump is resting easy amidst the silence.

“Make no mistake,” said the late-night host, “Trump is ALL-CAPS’ing in his pants over this. Today, he demanded the removal of every top official investigating him—special counsel Jack Smith, the Atlanta district attorney, [New York] Attorney General Letitia James, he [also] lashed out at the Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg.” (For the record, Kimmel loves that the man who could ultimately take Trump down is named “Bragg.”)

Despite previously projecting a brave, bring-it-on demeanor, this week seems to have brought about a different, more frantic version of Trump—and certainly not in a good way. His renewed target seems to be his longtime lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen, who has sent down for three years for doing Trump’s bidding.

“This guy really thinks the country’s going to fight a civil war for him because of his little golf-course porno-boner party that he had that night.”

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