Joe, Jim and I agree: KPD’s new accident policy is a mistake | Sam Venable

Sam Venable
·2 min read

Let me see if I’ve got this straight.

It’s legal in Tennessee to carry a handgun, openly or concealed, without a permit. Also, starting Sept. 1, officers from the Knoxville Police Department will no longer respond to traffic accidents unless someone has been injured or killed.

Hmm. What could possibly go wrong?

Imagine Joe and Jim collide at an intersection. Both cars are bashed, especially in their fronts and on the side they met. Body repairs to either vehicle will surely run north of $1,000. And that doesn’t count possible damage to the engines, transmissions, cooling systems, tires, whatever.

Fortunately — other than maybe swallowing a chew of tobacco, coating the dashboard and windshield with freshly slung coffee, rearranging golf clubs or fishing gear in the back seat, not to mention the possibility of moistening their respective Levis from the abrupt bump — neither man is hurt.

What could possibly go wrong, now that It’s legal in Tennessee to carry a handgun, openly or concealed, without a permit, and that starting Sept. 1, officers from the Knoxville Police Department will no longer respond to traffic accidents unless someone has been injured or killed?
What could possibly go wrong, now that It’s legal in Tennessee to carry a handgun, openly or concealed, without a permit, and that starting Sept. 1, officers from the Knoxville Police Department will no longer respond to traffic accidents unless someone has been injured or killed?

They climb out and begin assessing the situation.

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“How come you pulled out in front of me?” says Joe.

“What?” exclaims Jim. “I didn’t pull in front of you. You ran into me!”

In the interest of space, we shall dispense with the ensuing back-and-forth. Suffice it to say the air rapidly fills with ever-louder and forceful bursts on the order of “Like hell I did!” and “Look at the skid marks!” and “Oh, yeah?” and “So whaddya gonna do about it?”

And the next thing you know, lead is flying.

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Of course, this fictive unrest could occur even if KPD had never issued its no-investigation policy. It’s not like drivers always agree on who did what. Spats like these have erupted since Ig and Og tripped over each other running from a saber-toothed tiger. But at least with the certainty of imminent police presence, the chances of conflict escalation are greatly reduced.

Under the new guidelines, Joe and Jim are supposed to exchange ID and license information, snap photos of the scene and close-ups of the damages, then fill out a state form and file everything with their insurance companies.

Riiiight.

You know and I know and everybody from Happy Holler to Sequoyah Hills knows their insurance carriers won’t accept this as iron-clad fact and start issuing checks.

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Without an accident report, filled out and signed by a law enforcement officer at the scene, this case will spend eternity bouncing around like a ping-pong ball.

Yes, I understand KPD is short-staffed. I know these so-called “minor” accidents eat up a lot of officers’ time. But simply telling drivers, “You folks work it out,” isn’t the solution.

To reiterate: What could possibly go wrong?

Sam Venable’s column appears every Sunday. Contact him at sam.venable@outlook.com. 

This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: KPD’s new accident policy is a mistake, says Sam Venable