John Oliver offers Clarence Thomas $1 million per year and an RV if he resigns from the U.S. Supreme Court.

Clarence Thomas is arguably the most consequential justice on the court right now. And he's never really seemed to like the job. He said it's not worth doing for the grief. So what if he could keep the luxury perks that he clearly enjoys without having to endure all of that grief? Well, I think there might actually be a way to do that because Justice Thomas, we have a special offer for you tonight. We are prepared to offer you one million dollars a year for the rest of your life if you simply agree to leave the Supreme Court immediately and never come back. It is that simple. Just sign this contract, resign, and the money is all yours. This is not a joke. If you watch our show, you know jokes aren't really our thing. This is real. A million dollars a year until you or I die. We have spoken to experts who have all told us that best they can tell, this is somehow legal, which seems crazy to me because it really feels like it shouldn't be. But as they keep pointing out, there are no rules in place to stop me from doing this. And let me be clear, HBO is not putting up the money for this. I am personally on the hook. You can make me really regret this. I could be doing stand-up tours to pay for your retirement for years, but this offer is not forever. You have exactly 30 days from midnight tonight to make your resignation effective. And if you are still on the fence, I actually have a little deal sweetener that I'm excited to show you. So please, come with me. Just come. Come this way. Because we know you've got a lot on your plate right now, from stripping away women's rights, to hearing January 6th cases you definitely shouldn't be hearing, to potentially helping roll back decades of federal regulations. And you deserve a break, you know, away from the meanness of Washington, so you can be surrounded by the regular folks whose lives you've made demonstrably worse for decades now. And the good news is, I think we can help you there, because since your favorite mode of travel might be in need of an upgrade, we are excited to offer you... ...this brand-new, top-of-the-line Prevost Marathon motor coach. Look at this beauty, Clarence. It's worth $2.4 million. And it's got a full bedroom. Yes, that is a king bed. One and a half baths, a fucking fireplace, four TVs, a washer-dryer, and, and I quote, a residential-sized fridge. And if you're thinking, what will my friends say if I take this offer? Will they judge me as they sit in their boardrooms and megayachts and Hitler shrines? Will they still treat me to luxury vacations and sing songs about me off their phones? Well, that's the beauty of friendship, Clarence. They're real friends. They'll love you no matter what your job is. So I guess this might be the perfect way to find out who your real friends actually are. So that's the offer. A million dollars a year, Clarence. And a brand-new condo on wheels. And all you have to do in return is sign the contract and get the fuck off the Supreme Court. Talk it over with your totally best friend in the whole world. Because the clock starts now. Thirty days, Clarence. Let's do this. That's our show. Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next week. Good night. How is this legal? Your move, Clarence. Your fucking move.