A Joy-Centered Life Is Your Right, And Something You Can Truly Manifest And Maintain
When I think about the journey to a joyful life, I often think about the impediments one encounters while traveling this path. One of the most challenging impediments is the type of society we live. We live in a transactional world.
In this type of world, humans are viewed not as precious beings worthy of a joyful life. Their value is measured in monetary terms. How much can this person add to my financial bottom line? Case in point, when most people first meet one another, they often ask, “What do you do?” I believe the point of this question is to ascertain how much monetary value this person can add to my life. Thus, how much time should I expend talking with this person? Will this person be able to help me secure a better job? Will I be able to leverage this new connection to help secure a lucrative business deal? Most people rarely enter a conversation seeking to know the person behind their professional experience.
When asked this question, I normally respond with what I am passionate about or equally important, what brings me joy. My response normally causes the person to pause. The pause indicates to me the person rarely, if ever, hears such a response. Once I share my joy or passions, I ask the person to share what brings them joy or what they are passionate about. Often, the person does not respond immediately.
First, they were most likely not ready for this type of verbal engagement. Secondly, they often have lost touch with their joys and passions, so they need a moment to gather their thoughts. When they finally respond, most people normally share some very interesting types of passions or experiences they had that have brought them incredible joy, such as traveling, hiking, cooking, writing, spending time with their family/friends, etc.
Our shared responses usually springboard into a significantly more meaningful conversation than we would have experienced if our conversation would have been based on how much monetary value can I extract from this moment. I get to know what truly excites the person’s inner being, not just what they spend time doing eight hours daily.
Please don’t misunderstand me. If an opportunity for professional growth exists within this new dynamic, there is nothing wrong with exploring those possibilities. I am only suggesting one should seek first to get to know the person, not their profession. Doing this reminds you to focus on the many joyful things in life we forget are happening all the time and all around us because our minds are so drawn to the powerful vibrational pull of what this society values — profit over people.
This type of dehumanizing value system drastically erodes the significance joy plays in one’s life. Living a joy-centered life, as Joy Specialist and Psychotherapist Thea Monyee brilliantly teaches, allows one to live a life free of emotionally paralyzing experiences such as excessive stress, high-level anxiety, hatred and perpetual self-doubt. Additionally, it creates avenues for meaningful human connections.
A joy-centered life does not mean one will not experience moments of stress, anxiety and self-doubt. Living in the practice of joy allows a much quicker recovery from these moments. One does not get constantly rooted in these moments. As Michael Springer shares in his book, Untethered Soul, once rooted in a self-debilitating moment it is extremely difficult to navigate oneself free of that moment. When this happens, eventually the person begins to reflect on the characteristics of the moment. They become a stressful person, an anxiety-driven individual. The lens through which they see the world is colored by whichever moment they get rooted. To this person, joy becomes a distant or forgotten experience.
In order to avoid this, one must learn to practice living a joy-centered life. What does this look like? As Thea Monyee teaches, it requires getting to know what brings you joy. It is important to note that joy does not live in one location. There are many opportunities to experience joy, a non-hedonistic type of joy. One can find joy on a mountain hike, on a long bicycle ride, in between the pages of a book, spending time with one’s family or friends, writing, cooking and meditation. The opportunities to access joy are truly endless. Secondly, once you identify your personal joy locations, and these may change and grow over time, use them often.
The more you access your joy locations the more natural it will feel for you to be joyful. Eventually, joy will become the metric by which you measure what experiences and people enter and remain in your life. You will learn to ask the questions Thea Monyee often asks in her speeches: Does this bring me joy? Does this experience or person add to or interfere with the flow of my joy-centered life? And the more you become comfortable with sitting in the seat of joy, the more assertively you will want to protect your joy.
At first, this will feel uncomfortable, because protecting one’s joy may require finding a new and safe ecosystem for your joy. This could possibly mean identifying new friends who share your passion and desire to experience a joy-centered life, and temporarily removing friends — and maybe even some family members — who have not yet learned the value of this type of life.
Being new to living a joy-centered life may also feel uncomfortable when it comes to staying in a mindset of joy, especially if you have not discovered your joy locations and/or are currently in an unsupportive ecosystem. This is normal. Don’t get discouraged. You must look at this as a new practice, a new way of life. Feeling joyful once in a while or even a few straight days does not equate to a joy-centered life.
When I awake in the morning, I do not grab my phone and start looking at social media posts or the news. I add 10 new entries to my gratitude list and read additional pages from whatever book I am enjoying. (If you’re not an avid reader, many books can now be found in audible form.)
Lastly, as often as possible, I take a long walk or meditate. (I started doing meditation by using guided meditation clips from YouTube). Those are a few of my joy locations. I access those locations before letting the world in. Throughout the day, I listen to inspirational messages from people like Abraham Hicks, Tara Brach, Steven Kotler and Tony Porter. I take musical breaks and listen to my carefully curated and diverse playlist. Doing these things, constantly, helps to keep joyful energy flowing through my thoughts. It provides the necessary armament to help protect my joy.
Living a joy-centered life is not only possible, it is the right of every human being on this earth, regardless of their economic station, race, sexual preferences, gender identity, culture, place of birth or religious beliefs. The more one practices accessing their joy, the more joyful energy they will experience and maintain. Joy will become their default way of thinking. Joy will become who they are.
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Mark Winkler is an author and motivational speaker. His book, ‘My Daughter’s Keeper,’ is the compelling story of a father who risked everything to remain in his daughter’s life.
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