'Joy in the middle of terror' -- MSU grad student reflects on visit home to Ukraine

Feb. 24—Dariia Hozhenko long dreamed of visiting her mother, Olga, in Ukraine at the midway point of her studies at Minnesota State University.

But the MSU physics graduate student and graduate teaching assistant in the physics and astronomy department mourned the loss of that dream as war with Russia raged in her Ukraine homeland. Then she had an epiphany: Why not go home anyway?

"I saw how other Ukrainians were going to Ukraine with humanitarian aid, for volunteer missions and because they were willing to help their families inside the country," Hozhenko said. "I decided if they can go to Ukraine and come back safe, I can do the same.

"I did plan this trip at the time I was going to the U.S. for my studies, so a year and a half ago, but after the Russian invasion, I didn't believe it could happen. It was a big decision."

She traveled from Dec. 4 to Jan. 11, and was successful in seeing her mother and visiting with other relatives and longtime friends. She is from a small city called Ivano-Frankove, which is in the western part of the country about 12 miles away from Lviv.

Traveling was difficult, she said, and because of Russian missile strikes, she was forced to fly to Poland and then cross the border on a bus. That took almost three days.

As soon as you cross the border, Hozhenko said, there's "darkness everywhere."

"Mandatory curfew is active from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m.," she said. "You can feel straight away that it is a different Ukraine. It is Ukraine, in the middle of the war, tortured by Russia."

But she had made a promise to her mother that she would visit, and so she persevered.

"When I was leaving Ukraine a year and a half ago, I promised my mom that I will go home to see her in the middle of my studying," Hozhenko said. "I saw my friends and all of my family."

Some of her former classmates are no longer in the country, having taken shelter elsewhere. "It is very dangerous to stay in Ukraine now," she said. "I was sad we didn't have an opportunity to see each other, but at the same time, I was very happy that they were safe."

It was a real pleasure seeing her mom and "all of my dearest people," she said. "I was very happy to spend the holidays together. We had Christmas Eve dinner with candles, but unfortunately, it wasn't because of the desire to make a nice atmosphere.

"Russian missiles pound Ukraine's energy system and force power outages. A lot of people are still staying without heat, electricity and water, and my family is not an exception.

"It was a joy in the middle of terror."

She talked with her mom about the option of Olga returning to the U.S. with her, but ultimately the two decided such a plan isn't viable for either of them now.

"At this stage of my life, I cannot afford housing for my mom, food and method of transportation to make her stay comfortable and safe here in the U.S. Also ... it is very hard to leave everything you have, your entire life, and go somewhere where your future is very blurry."

Hozhenko is proud of her Ukrainian brethren for having the courage to fight Russia. She also encourages her Midwestern counterparts to continue to aid her homeland.

"You will never understand what it's like to wake up from bombing if you have never had it in your life," she said. "I remember the first time when it happened to me, and I will never forget it.

"Ukraine and Ukrainians are the true heroes, they are living every day fighting for freedom by paying with life. I have a big hope for people's empathy and their true understanding of the importance of human life. The Russian invasion is a wild act in all its manifestations.

"It is not OK to invade someone's land, kill, rape and lie. By supporting Ukraine, helping and donating, we all are making an investment into global safety so that the next generation can live safely and with a quality of life on the planet Earth without fear of being killed by bombs."

She hopes Westerners will continue to support those who remain in Ukraine. For them, it's a day-by-day life inside of a war that presents continuous danger.

"I wish people would be able to understand the pain and sadness of the people of Ukraine," Hozhenko said. "Russia is still there, still doing evil things. We do really appreciate all of your help and we are asking to stand with us in a fight with the pure devil."

Ukrainians need food and clothes, as they cannot afford to buy necessities, she said.

Sadly, Hozhenko has no idea when she'll return to see her mother again. She has a strong belief that Ukraine will win this war, but she wishes the end of the conflict will come soon.

"I wish it could stop now," she said. "I know that Russia will lose. I just want it to happen as soon as possible."

To donate to the Ukrainian war cause, Hozhenko points here: uaccmn.org.