Judge Lynn Toler On Why Relationship Advice Is Her Passion, Her WE tv Reality Series And Biggest Issues in Relationships Today

Judge Lynn Toler is back with her own show, and this time, she’s forcing couples to make a decision on the current state of their relationship unlike ever before. The former Divorce Court judge and a mentor on Marriage Boot Camp is now counseling couples in the new WE tv series, Commit or Quit. Over one-hour episodes in eight weeks, eight couples are under Judge Toler’s microscope. Secrets are exposed, issues are uncovered, and those closest to them give shocking testimony. When it’s all said and done, ultimately, it’s up to Judge Toler to have them commit or quit, there is no in-between.

Each couple’s home will be installed with surveillance cameras, so Judge Toler can monitor their every move. Through a combination of life experiences, judicial wisdom, street smarts, cutting-edge technology, and the sworn testimony of those closest to the couples, Judge Toler will carefully review each relationship before revealing the ultimate verdict. For those who commit, she marries them on the spot. Those who "quit," they break up for good.

Shadow and Act Unscripted spoke with Judge Toler on her new show, the biggest issues she notices in current relationships, breaking bad cycles and more.

Relationships are her passion point because it’s what connects people

Judge Toler is synonymous with relationship advice and continues to be a source of wisdom for many couples looking to figure things out. She says despite the headache some couples give her, it remains a passion of hers.

“I want to talk about relationships because it’s what everybody wants,” she explained. “That’s what everybody dreams of it’s. In the comment section of my social media, it’s what I hear the most requests about. It’s practical and it’s doable. And so as long as people are getting value out of it, I enjoy giving it.”

She says the biggest hurdle she feels couples have to overcome is social media

Judge Toler has been giving relationship advice for decades but she says there’s one thing present today that’s the root of much division amongst couples that hasn’t been present before: social media. “It is killing love,” she said firmly. “It’s a matter of, ‘He doesn’t post my picture enough or he’s like in the wrong woman’s picture, or she’s always bugging me about why I don’t post her picture. Or I slid into his DMS, I slid into her DMS,’ all of that.”

But Judge Toler says there’s one simple resolution to it all: if you don’t want your partner to see it, then don’t do it. “My one rule is this: if my husband was standing behind me and it would give me the heebie-jeebies to type it, I don’t,” she advises. “Because it’s so easy to get on that slippery slope and [engage in messaging] ‘Hey, baby.’ So you never go down that road at all? I don’t want my husband to see it. I don’t type it.”

On what she wants to achieve with her new show:

The show is unlike something many have seen from Judge Toler and one she enjoyed filming. More than anything, she hopes it’s a conversation starter for couples. 

“I want people to learn how to identify what the problem is and learn how to have a conversation about it. I spend a lot of time teaching those couples how to talk to one another. You can’t resolve anything if you don’t understand what the other person is talking about,” she insists. “We tend to be so emotional when we speak as opposed to, ‘Hey, here’s the issue, let’s deal with that,’ as opposed to how you made me feel. So that’s the one thing I think I hope everybody can walk away with a better understanding. 

The show airs Thursdays on WE tv.