‘It’s just unacceptable’: Portsmouth family speaks out after son killed in domestic shooting
PORTSMOUTH, Va. (WAVY) – The parents of a beloved military veteran are speaking out after he was shot and killed last Friday.
23-year-old Benjamin Nesbitt will now live on through his two children, a two-year-old boy and a little girl expected to be born in March.
His mom, Charese Nesbitt, contacted 10 On Your Side over the weekend to share “Ben’s story.” She believes he was a victim of domestic violence.
“I want to put a face to that 23-year-old victim. Initially, for privacy reasons, I didn’t want his name released, but I don’t want this person to control the narrative. I want people to see who Benjamin really is,” Charese Nesbitt said.
Benjamin was a member of JROTC at I.C. Norcom High School. After graduating in 2018, he joined the U.S. Army. He later returned home to Portsmouth.
“Benjamin was taking some training courses to advance at Valvoline,” explained his mom.
His mom describes him as a caring, thoughtful, and a “jack-of-all-trades.” Benjamin is the third child of five children.
“He helped everyone. It’s just amazing [to see] all of the people that have reached out to us and told us the different stories about Benjamin,” she said.
“I’ve never seen someone with so much love,” adds his dad, Norman Coleman. “He’s the most outgoing person … I’ve ever met in my life. I’m going to miss that about him.”
His parents said last Friday, Benjamin was preparing for the newborn baby with plans to leave his job early to finalize paperwork on a new apartment.
“I felt weird that day for whatever reason … because I almost wanted to ride past his job,” explains Coleman.
Portsmouth police report around 2:30 p.m., 19-year-old Ahleesha Skyes shot Benjamin several times in the parking lot of his job at Valvoline on Frederick Boulevard.
Skyes is in jail without bond, charged with first-degree murder and several gun charges. She declined an interview with 10 On Your Side.
“When [Charese] called me and told me that he had passed away … that was the hardest thing that I’ve had to deal with in my life … to know that I’ll never see my son again … I’ll never hear his voice.”
Officers consider the shooting “domestic-related.”
As Charese learns more from Benjamin’s friends and girlfriend, she believes he was a victim of domestic violence.
“This was a domestic issue because Benjamin knew her. They knew each other,” Charese said. “Domestic abuse does not all entail physical violence. Excessively texting, excessively calling, showing up at someone’s employer. That is a form of domestic abuse as well.”
She said the woman was known for harassing and stalking Benjamin and his long-time girlfriend.
“Phone calls, showing up in places where he was harassed and his girlfriend. This was not reported to the police,” Charese said.
Charese explains the two may have known each other for about a year.
“The maliciousness of what she did … she intended to harm Benjamin,” Charese adds the woman waited outside of his job.
Now Charese is speaking up to help others.
“Sometimes they think about the stigma that may come with it. ‘I don’t want to say anything. I’m going to try to take care of it myself.’ Sometimes things are beyond your control, and you need to reach out [to] figure out what you can do to get help for you or the other person that’s involved,” Charese said.
She wants those experiencing stalking or harassment to reach out — before it’s too late
“It’s just unacceptable. It’s not OK for it to happen to women and it’s certainly not OK for it to happen to men,” Charese said. “I hope if it reaches only one person, that if you’re in a situation where you know you’re being abused physically [or] mentally. You need to ask for help. You need to reach out, not be embarrassed or afraid of what anybody is going to think because it just may save your life or someone else’s life.”
Charese adds, “it’s something that we really don’t speak about, especially when it comes to men. It’s not this not to discount, the things [happen] with women, but it’s very rare that you see these types of things and the women are the offenders.”
Coleman said his main focus is to make sure his grandkids remember Benjamin
“We’re part of a club that I never wanted to be a part of. Parents are never supposed to bury the kids,” Coleman said.
If you or you know someone who may be a victim of domestic violence or child abuse, click here for a list of local and national resources.
Avalon Center in Williamsburg
Phone: 757-258-5022
Offers transitional housing, emergency shelter, youth services, legal advice and counseling.
24-hour Crisis Hotline: 757-258-5051
Website: avaloncenter.org/
Eastern Shore Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Hotline number: 757-787-1329
Offers: emergency shelter, 24-hour crisis hotline, individual counseling, safety planning, children’s services, legal advocacy, accompaniment during hospital visits and court appearances and support groups to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.
Website: https://www.escadv.org/
Samaritan House Inc. in Virginia Beach
Phone: 757-631-0710
Offers counseling, emergency shelter placement and safety planning.
24-hour Crisis Hotline 757-430-2120
H.E.R. Shelter in Portsmouth
Phone: 757-485-1445
Offers emergency services, court assistance, shelter, employment and housing assistance.
24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 757-485-3384
Website: hershelter.com/
The Genieve Shelter in Suffolk
Phone: 757-925-4365
Offers emergency shelter and crisis services.
Crisis Hotline 757-705-2025 or 757-353-1439
Contáctanos para ayuda inmediata 1-800-969-4673
Website: https://thegenieveshelter.org/
Transitions Family Violence Services in Hampton
Phone: 757-722-2261
Offers emergency shelter, crisis services, court advocacy, and counseling.
24-hour Crisis Hotline 757-723-7774
Website: https://www.transitionsfvs.org/
YWCA South Hampton Roads in Norfolk
Phone: 757-625-4248
Offers emergency shelter and crisis services.
24-hour Crisis Hotline 757-251-0144
Website: https://www.ywca-shr.org/
National Human Trafficking Task Force Hotline: 1-888-3737-888.
Hampton Roads Human Trafficking Task Force: 757-430-2120
Blue Campaign to bring an end to Human Trafficking
Prevent Child Abuse America – Coronavirus Resources & Tips for Parents, Children & Others.
Child abuse and neglect are serious problems that can have lasting harmful effects on its victims. For more information on preventing child abuse and neglect check out resources from the CDC, or call The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 for help.
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