Kamie Crawford has hosted 'Catfish' for 5 years. This is her biggest relationship red flag

In 2010, the term “catfishing” was added to our collective vocabulary thanks to the documentary “Catfish,” a film about social media users who create fake online personas to intentionally deceive other users.

Kamie Crawford, like many viewers, was “awestruck” by the lengths some catfish would go to keep up appearances and hold onto their virtual relationships. She watched the documentary for the first time in college, shortly after she gave up her title as Miss Teen USA 2010.

“I remember watching the documentary scared. I’m still scared of it,” she tells TODAY.com. “I watched it again over the pandemic, and I was like, ‘Oh my God. This was groundbreaking stuff.”

“Catfish” spawned a MTV reality series, “Catfish: The TV Show,” in 2012 with Nev Schulman, whose online relationship was the focus of the documentary, and Max Joseph as co-hosts. When Joseph departed the series in 2018, Schulman was in need of a new partner.

Crawford, who then had a budding career in television hosting and modeling, received an email offering her a two-episode guest spot as a co-host. She was skeptical. “It just felt too good to be true, almost,” she says.

She joined the show and landed the role as the permanent co-host of “Catfish” in 2020. Three years later, Crawford, now 30, hosts three shows on the network, essentially making her the new face of MTV. With “Catfish,” she has built a brand on tough love, candid advice and holding people accountable. She also launched her podcast, “Relations--- with Kamie Crawford,” which TODAY.com named one of the best podcasts for women, by women, to offer more relationship commentary.

In a phone interview, the television host, model and producer chats with TODAY.com about her ascension over the past few years and how she cultivated a fanbase — the besties — that look to her for honest, unfiltered relationship advice.

On her pageant background and overcoming hate as a teenager

Before she became a television host, Crawford was a teenage beauty queen. One day in high school, her best friend recommended she compete in the Miss Maryland Teen USA pageant. Crawford recalls having “no clue” what she was getting herself into, but soon “realized that it’s a whole world on its own.”

Crawford, the oldest of six girls, had little sisters looking up to her and she wanted to show them that confidence and being unique are important. She also comes from a “very Jamaican family” and grew up surrounded by a Caribbean culture that values and celebrates curves.

She was crowned Miss Maryland Teen USA 2010 and went on to represent her state in the Miss Teen USA pageant. Crawford says it was a “formative time” in her life where she learned about being part of a brand and being the face of a business.

She made history, becoming the first Maryland contestant to win the title of Miss Teen USA in July 2010. She was also the first Black winner in almost 10 years.

Her historic moment was slightly overshadowed by some hateful responses to her victory. “It was definitely difficult,” she shares. “The backlash from that was pretty insane and I’m not really physically built like most pageant girls are — what we think of pageant girls to look like — at least from that time. So I got a lot of hate, for sure.”

Even though she faced vicious comments at a young age, the challenging environment helped her realize her dream of being in front of the camera.

“It (had) its ups and downs. And there were times I didn’t think I was gonna make it. But I did, and I’m glad that I did because it just made me stronger at the end of the day,” she says.

On ‘Catfish’ and its cultural significance

After graduating college, she continued to develop her brand of self-love and acceptance, landing modeling gigs and features in Teen Vogue. Out of the blue, she received an email from a member of the “Catfish” production team asking her to appear on the MTV show.  As a longtime fan of the “iconic” network, she immediately jumped at the opportunity.

Crawford tells TODAY.com she grew up with “TRL” and used to stay up late watching music videos and different reality shows.

“Back in the day on MTV, with ‘The Real World,’ they were talking about so many difficult (and) relevant topics. I miss that part of TV,” she says. Crawford points out that now the growing landscape of reality television makes some shows feel “orchestrated.” They are missing the “rawness” of their predecessors, she says.

That’s why she wanted to join the “Catfish” team. After watching the show for years, she knew that “Catfish” highlighted people from different walks of life.

She was the perfect foil for co-host alongside Schulman, who tends to have a more optimistic, rose-colored glasses approach to the cases every episode. Compared to his idealism, Crawford is more cautious, injecting each episode with her intuitive pangs. It is a routine they have mastered for nearly 100 episodes.

“I’ve been on for almost five years now, (which is) just insane to think about,” she says about the series, which recently returned with new episodes on Oct. 3. “We both bring two different things to the table, but we appreciate each other’s side. I think that that is what makes it a great working relationship.”

The two travel around the country together with their film crew, getting catfish to reveal their true selves after years of hiding under false identities. Crawford says as a viewer she did not realize how long it takes to get a catfish to open up. On the show, Schulman and Crawford typically sit down with the catfish for the last 15 minutes of the episode as they reveal the real reason the person did not feel comfortable being their authentic self online. In real life, she says it can take hours, even days, to get to that point of vulnerability.

On Oct. 10, the show aired its 220th episode. “Catfish” has a devoted fan base that tweets about the show every week. But even those fans often wonder how the show is still going strong.

Crawford says the show continues to find catfish cases to crack because our culture and social media has “glorified this idea of perfection,” that many are chasing. She points out that teenagers today are constantly scrolling through videos on TikTok and other social media platforms that encourage them to look like someone else.

“I can only imagine how that feels,” she says. “Because when I was that age, I only had magazines to look at and music videos. I wasn’t looking at a girl who might live in my town who’s got a million followers and is my same age but looks so much more grown up or prettier or whatever it might be.”

She adds, “We put so much weight on perfection and showing our best versions of ourselves. And if you’re not feeling like who you are as a person is your best version, it can be easy to want to be someone else or pretend to look like something else.”

On being the new face of MTV and launching her ‘Relations---’ podcast

Crawford understands these growing societal pressures and has embraced her role on “Catfish” as the protective, compassionate big sister. In January, Deadline reported that Crawford signed an overall talent deal with MTV Entertainment Studios that made her the host of the dating reality shows “Ex on the Beach” and “Are You the One?” as well.

Crawford says she was honored when her team shared the news about the offer. “If I’m going to give myself my props, I think it is a testament to me and my work ethic and the way that I present myself, the way that I care about my job,” she shares.

She cares about the contestants on the shows and their personal struggles, too, which is why she started her “Relations---” podcast two years ago. She invites guests onto her podcast to discuss romantic, familial and platonic relationships. Her listeners, or “besties,” can also call the "Relations---" hotline for more specific advice about their relationship struggles.

Since she hosts three shows about dating and love, Crawford wanted to make sure “Relations---” covered all types of relationships, beyond romantic.

“We put a lot of emphasis on romantic relationships, and listen, I love my boyfriend. But oftentimes in your life, your romantic partners are not the most life-changing relationships … or the ones that you put the most value into on a regular basis.”

She created the podcast to show that having a support system of dependable people is just as important as looking for a romantic partner. She also teaches listeners when they should fix a broken relationship or move on.

“And then, of course, the relationship that you have with yourself is the most important relationship that you will have in your entire life,” she says. On the podcast, she frequently speaks about how mental health, self-confidence and self-love are connected and how they need to be nurtured.

Although she enjoys dishing out the advice, she also has guests on the show who share their perspectives. She mentions her trainer, Six, who gave her the best relationship advice she has ever received: Avoid treating life and relationships like a baseball game.

She explains the analogy, noting that usually “somebody tells you something or (shares) how they’re feeling and you knock it back to them.” She says people tend to respond with how they feel, which isn’t always productive.

“Instead, in relationships, we need to be playing football, where you throw the ball to someone and you say, ‘Hey, this is how you made me feel.’ And they receive it and they honor it because you’re on the same team,” Crawford adds. Then the conversation is more about understanding each other and less accusatory, she says.

“Because a lot of times you can be right and you can stand on your soapbox, but it could be at the detriment of your relationship,” she advises. She says adopting that mindset has helped her improve all her relationships.

On the biggest relationship red flag

After co-hosting “Catfish” for years, Crawford has become an expert on social media sleuthing, adding to her dating advice credentials. She’s noticed that the overwhelming amount of options on social media has yielded a dating culture that views relationships “as way too disposable.”

She says a common dating mistake she has observed lately is opting for an endless list of possible matches over commitment.

“There’s a lot of energy out there right now of, ‘Well, if this one doesn’t do blah, blah, blah, then I’m just gonna go get a new one,” she says. “OK, you can do that. You’ll spend your whole life getting a new one, finding a new relationship, because you’re not willing to actually sit in something and work it through.”

She also reveals the biggest red flag she sees in the modern dating landscape: a wandering eye on social media. In her opinion, double-tapping risqué photos is not so innocent.

“I just think that that kind of behavior is so juvenile and ridiculous. I think you can like something with your eyes and not tap it with your hands,” she says.

Both dating tips are a reflection of the “revolving door” dating has become, she explains. For her, a green flag is someone who is disciplined and not constantly giving their attention to other options.

Crawford shares more of her hot takes, as well as tidbits about her own relationship on “Relations---.” Her podcast is currently on hiatus, but she promises her besties that she is working hard to deliver more episodes soon.

“Outside of my shows, I feel like it’s my opportunity to just be me, speak freely and connect with my listeners, my viewers and everyone who follows me anywhere,” she says. “So I’m excited to get back to it.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com