Apr. 3—Don't you just love it when health experts tell us that we would feel better, lose weight faster and be overall healthier if we would just get a good night's sleep?
Great advice, but one question: Do these guys think that insomnia is a choice? Do they suppose we go to bed planning to toss and turn for hours with a tsunami of worrisome thoughts flooding through our brains? And then intentionally wake up at 2 a.m. and not be able to get back to sleep?
I would sleep like a baby if I could. But the older I get the more elusive it becomes. I remember sleeping. I used to love to sleep. It was something I did every night — usually the minute my head hit the pillow. And I wouldn't wake up until I heard the birds chirping the next morning.
These days trying to get to sleep and staying asleep for seven or eight hours is about as difficult as fitting into a size 4 pair of jeans — something I can no longer do because I've gained weight — probably because I'm not sleeping so well. That, and ice cream.
A friend of mine once told me that all post-menopausal middle-aged women have trouble sleeping. The more sleep deprived we are, the grumpier we get. That explains a lot.
They say people who are sleep deprived are as dangerous behind the wheel of a car as someone who's had a few too many drinks.
I don't doubt it. When I don't get enough rest, I have trouble even operating my vacuum cleaner, let alone a motor vehicle.
I have never seen anybody get a ticket for driving while sleep deprived (DWSD), but if that happened to me, I would hope for a post-menopausal middle-aged judge so maybe she could empathize.
There are plenty of remedies out there to help a person get to sleep. Cashing in on the sleep deprivation industry is probably as lucrative as the diet business.
I prefer, however, to avoid chemical solutions and other wackadoodle fixes. I go more for natural approaches, such as a glass of almond milk and a banana before bed, listening to soothing music or meditating. And all of these things have an effect, which is a blessing.
Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that when I wake up in the morning I won't still be grouchy. I guess that's another issue.
Hedberg may be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or (208) 743-9411.