Keeley’s Sex Tape Is One of the Most Upsetting ‘Ted Lasso’ Plots Yet

No one in the world should want to be Keeley Jones (Juno Temple) at this point in Ted Lasso.

We all envied the bubbly character when she started dating Roy Kent (Brett Goldstein), similarly to the way we desired a friendship similar to the one she shares with Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham). The first two seasons of the series were full of highs for Keeley, but now, she’s trapped on the struggle bus. Someone set the poor girl free!

Yes, I’m aware that I spent almost the entirety of my recap last week ranting about the way this season has treated Keeley and the other women of the show. If I could, I’d write about another topic. But almost the entire plot of this most recent episode, “We’ll Never Have Paris,” centers around Keeley, who is about to jet off on a holiday with her girlfriend Jack (Jodi Balfour) when one of her sexy videos leaks online.

We don’t get to see the video. Keeley plays just a few seconds of the intro, in which she teases the recipient with a fun time while they’re separated for the weekend. We don’t know who the video was meant for—there’s no timestamp, so it could hypothetically be for Jack, Roy, or Jamie (Phil Dunster), all of Keeley’s relationships past and present on the show. But from Jack’s stunned reaction to the video (which, presumably, shows Keeley pleasuring herself), we can quickly rule her out as the receiver.

Jack promises to solve the problem for Keeley. At first, this is played as a nice gesture—how kind that this powerful business woman would solve her girlfriend’s issues so swiftly! But when you consider last episode’s “love bombing” twist (in which Rebecca warned Keeley that Jack was showering her with too many gifts and kind gestures to win her over), this act, which should seem caring, feels a little more complicated.

But last episode’s red flag plays no part in Keeley’s new dilemma. Before Keeley can even think about what Jack’s motivations are for helping her, Jack gives her another reason to question their relationship: She slut shames Keeley, blaming her for the tape.

Jack drafts a note for Keeley to share on social media to address the sex tape mess. None of it reads what it should read: something along the lines of, “I’ve been hacked, this is a terrible invasion of my privacy, please do not share the video.” Instead, Jack writes a statement that forces Keeley to apologize for the video and express regret over filming it in the first place.

Run, Keeley. Sprint away from this woman and never look back.

‘Ted Lasso’ Is Having a Serious Female Characters Problem

Here, thankfully, Keeley is given the chance to make a strong stance, which echoes the sex positivity of her character that we’ve seen throughout her tenure on the show. She talks to Rebecca about the incident, explaining that she doesn’t regret filming it in any sense. She simply loathes the fact that creepy online stalkers leaked it online. This is the strongest moment of the episode, seeing Keeley stand her ground—but it’s followed by the weakest suggestion from Rebecca.

Rebecca, who spent last week’s episode alerting Keeley to Jack’s bounty of red flags, now takes Jack’s side. This is possibly the worst time to side with Jack, but sure, Rebecca. (Side note: Anything Hannah Waddingham says feels like good advice, just because she has such an authoritative cadence. But does it really make sense? Not always. I had to do a double take here.) She tells Keeley that these are “just business terms,” and Jack doesn’t really believe that Keeley should regret taking the video. Perhaps Jack simply consulted a lawyer on how to deal with the issue quickly and move on.

In that case, though, Rebecca should still be warning Keeley. This poor woman has just been sexually harassed online. Her girlfriend should have her back, checking in every hour on the hour, supporting her in whatever way she can. But instead, Jack opts to send Keeley a sexist press release. She doesn’t even have the courtesy of dropping the statement off at Keeley’s desk herself, making another employee do it instead! That, my friends, is an unsupportive partner. It’s something Rebecca should’ve pointed out—and, realistically, would’ve, considering the concerns she brought up in last episode.

Then, Ted Lasso gives us the opinions no one should care about: the footballers, who have a discussion about private videos that have been leaked online. Nothing they say is inherently bad, it’s just a conversation that feels ripped straight out of the early 2010s, when Snapchat became the most popular way to send lewd images.

This brings us to Roy, who confronts Keeley in the parking lot of the Richmond AFC field. Nothing big comes of this, other than we learn the video wasn’t sent to him. Roy is cold and unsupportive. I hate this! He and Keeley were perfect for each other, but now the show has made me feel like I’m not supposed to root for them. Though Jack is an energizing love interest and a reunion with Jamie would certainly be an interesting twist, I don’t think I’m alone in rooting for Keeley and Roy to end up together.

But the show goes in a different direction, with Jamie showing up to Keeley’s door after Keeley has a big fall out (or maybe a break up—it’s confusing) with Jack. Jamie offers his ex a heartfelt apology—he was the one who received the video, and he may have actually been hacked instead of her. This is embarrassing for him because it means that, all this time, through two new relationships, Jamie has held onto the video. Some might find that off-putting, but Ted Lasso plays this scene in a way that’s meant to be… heartwarming?

Not much else happens in the eighth chapter of Ted Lasso Season 3. Ted (Jason Sudeikis) takes his son to the bar for a pint of milk. Nate cozies up with his new girlfriend. There are some high points (Keeley’s steadfast stance on the video leaking) and low moments (everything with Jack), but all in all, the plot doesn’t really move forward. At least, in Keeley’s love life, it’s not moving in a desirable direction. Please, as much as Roy’s bromance with Jamie is delightful, bring that spark with her back into his life!

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