Keep eyes peeled for a new animal on our roadways | Sam Venable
It’s time to update one of the corniest selections in the goofy history of lame Dad jokes (which is a statement fraught with redundancy. Please do forgive me.)
Out with: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the ’possum how it’s done.”
In with: “Why did the ’possum cross the road? To show the armadillo how much he’d learned from the chicken.”
You are now free to roll your eyes — except when driving. Otherwise, you might run over one of Tennessee’s newest four-legged residents.
The nine-banded armadillos have arrived.
Yes, those odd-looking, armor-plated animals associated with the Deep South and Western U.S. have become hillbillies.
They’ve been slowly infiltrating for over a decade. But recently, I heard fresh information from two ’diller documentarians.
Dr. Craig Reinemeyer of Rockwood has long been my go-to guy for local armadillo roadkill updates. He didn’t see any during 2020 and 2021, making me wonder if armadillos also laid low during the initial waves of COVID-19.
But just like humans, armadillos appear to have been liberated. Or perhaps they grew weary of wearing masks on their narrow snouts.
Since early June, Reinemeyer has seen three. Two of them, one week apart, were on I-40 East between mile markers 340 and 347. The third met its fate on Highway 70, right at the Harriman city limits.
About the same time, Jefferson Countian Larry Cook saw the loser of a vehicle-armadillo encounter on I-81 North between mile marker 12 and 15.
I trust the animal-ID credentials of both men. Reinemeyer is a veterinary parasitologist with an animal research lab in Roane County. Cook, a retired banker (and long-suffering outdoor companion of a certain typist) is learned in critters that walk, crawl or fly. What’s more, part of his Air Force hitch was spent in Texas, where armadillos are as common as mesquite.
Natives of Central and South America, armadillos have moved steadily northward since the 19th century. The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency is studying their habitat use here in the hills.
“Right now, we don’t have a good feel on distribution for them in Region IV (East Tennessee) but hopefully this research will produce an updated map,” said biologist Scott Dykes. In addition, a student at UT Chattanooga is studying them in pursuit of a master’s degree.
Armadillos are edible, although I can’t imagine trying to can-opener into one of them. They were called “poor man’s pork” and “Hoover hogs” during the Great Depression.
I prefer a more sophisticated handle. Something on the order of “’possum on the half-shell.”
More Sam Venable: ‘New and improved’ is definitely a matter of opinion
Sam Venable’s column appears every Sunday. Contact him at sam.venable@outlook.com.
This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Keep eyes peeled for a new animal on our roadways | Sam Venable
