Keith Welch: Fill your head with hair
The '60s hippy movement produced a few songs about hair. The Cowsills sang a song titled "Hair." “She asked me why? Why am I a hairy guy? I’m hairy noon and nighty-night night. My hair is a fright. I’m hair high and low ... It’s not from lack of bread like the grateful dead … Fill your head with hair, long, beautiful hair … O say can you see, my eyes, if you can then my hairs too short.”
The five Man Electrical Band sang a song about signs. “The sign said: Long Haired Hippy Folk need not apply.” So he tucks his long hair up under his hat and he went in to ask him "why?" The employer views the man with the cap and says, “You look like a very fine man, I think you’ll do fine.” So he takes off his hat and says, “Imagine that, me working for you!”
Larry Norman, a Christian contemporary singer of the past, sang in his song, "Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music": “They say to cut my hair, it’s driving me insane, I grew it out long to make room for my brain.”
I had long hair when I worked the night shift for United Parcel Service (UPS) in Indianapolis. I usually tied it back during work hours with a bandana. My long-haired picture with the headband and my smiling face showed up a couple of times in the UPS Indiana magazine, The Big Ideal, for the work production four-star award.
When I was asked to consider moving into the driving position at UPS, they gave me my road test in the package car. Their only request was that my hair needed to be tucked up under a cap. When they decided to move me to the driver position they said, “Of course, you’ll have to cut your hair.” “OK,” I quickly responded.
Sometimes long hair got people into trouble in the Bible. Samson (Judges 13:5) got into trouble when he revealed to a woman his strength came from his long flowing locks of hair. He was under a Nazarite vow from birth. A Nazarite vow stated the individual would allow his hair to grow long as part of this strict requirement. (Numbers 6:5) Samson’s hair is cut and his great strength left him.
King David's son Absalom rebelled against his father and attempted a coup. Later, Absalom lost his life when he rode his mule under a low oak tree and got his long hair caught in the branches. (II Samuel 18:9) He was stabbed to death as he was dangling by his locks from this tree.
One of the distinguishing features on Esau was he was hairy. A plan was developed by their mom for Jacob to trick Isaac, the blind father, in order to steal is brother’s Esau’s oldest child's blessing. “And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Look, Esau, my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth-skinned man.” (Genesis 27:11)
Jesus indicated the very hairs of our head are numbered. (Matthew 10:30; Luke 12:7) When I read this it always reminds me of a cartoon of the rooster Foghorn Leghorn. When he meets a mishap where all of his feathers are blown off he states, “Fortunately I keep my feathers numbered for such an occasion.”
There are also some people in the Bible who have less hair for God to count. Elisha was one of those who had a bald head. “And he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead! So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the Lord. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled the 42 youth.” (II Kings 2:23-24)
I also have some tales of bad haircuts. I went to a barber when I was on leave from the Air Force and when he found out I was in the military he seemed to think any kind of haircut was okay as he butchered my hair. This showed up unflattering on my security I.D. picture when I arrived in Okinawa a few days later.
I have been wary of barbers since. I got a better haircut from my wife, Sherrie, until she, tired of the process, instructed me to go to one of those modern-day haircutting establishments. One problem I find there is that my regular person isn’t always working and every cutter approaches my hair differently. It often leads to bad results and I am thrown back to the awful local barber of the past.
A USAF Major in Okinawa said to me one day, “Sergeant Welch, you need to get your haircut.” I responded with a smile, “The base barbers are on strike.” “Well, then, I will take you off base to get your haircut.”
I was not too pleased with this prospect because I thought I had a loophole to get my haircut. After we returned in his car, he commented, “Why are you so against getting your haircut?" I brazenly responded, “You don’t worry about it because you can’t grow any.” I quickly scanned the horizon for bears.
In most places in the military a comment like this would be cause for discipline or brig time, but at our intelligence branch I was a needed contributor. The major did not respond, much to my surprise.
My last year in the Air Force, I decided to use tubes of Brylcreem on my hair. “A little dab will do you” was their slogan. I allowed long strands of hair to grow and pulled them from the top of my head to the back of my head using this styling hair gel. I used more than a dab to accomplish this feat. The overly applied gel would drip down my forehead throughout the workday.
I was getting my long hair cut the day before my wedding day. Somehow, I made a personal decision to have it styled into a long FRO without the input of my wife. This made for some interesting before-wedding conversation and wedding pictures.
These are some of my hair-raising stories. I have many more.
— Keith J. Welch is a resident of Holland. He has an MFA in creative writing and is a retired Salvation Army Major. Contact him at Keith.welch16@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Keith Welch: Fill your head with hair
