Ken Starr Is Proof That History Sometimes Puts on a Fake Mustache and Heads to Open Mic Night

Charles P. Pierce
Photo credit: Win McNamee - Getty Images
Photo credit: Win McNamee - Getty Images

From Esquire

History, Mark Twain is said to have commented, doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. (There’s no real proof he said it, but it sounds like him, so we should let him have it.) However, occasionally, history does put on a fake mustache and head to a comedy club for open mic night. From CNN:

President Donald Trump is adding three seasoned lawyers to his impeachment legal defense team, people familiar with the matter said, including Kenneth Starr, the hard-charging prosecutor whose work led to President Bill Clinton's impeachment.

Alan Dershowitz, the constitutional lawyer, and Robert Ray, Starr's successor at the Office of Independent Counsel during the Clinton administration, are also joining the team, the people said.

The three are expected to join a legal team headed by White House counsel Pat Cipollone and outside attorney Jay Sekulow, who are still expected to deliver statements on the President's behalf on the Senate floor. Former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi and Trump's longtime personal counsel Jane Raskin will also supplement the President's impeachment legal team, a person familiar with the matter said.

What is there to be said? Ken Starr, the bed-sniffing yahoo who, after spending millions to wreck dozens of lives in Washington and in Arkansas, could come up with nothing more than a handful of blowjobs, which he read into the record like a pre-teen reading The Dirty Parts of his parents’s books to his friends. Later, he went on to ignore allegations of criminal sexual assault by athletes while chancellor at Baylor University.

He is joined by Dershowitz, once part of O.J. Simpson’s dream team, in what has to be one last ungainly dive for the spotlight. (And marrying the O.J. trial to the Clinton penis-hunt may occasion a dangerous singularity in 1990s television voyeurism.) Robert Ray was Starr’s successor as yahoo-in-chief and, as recently as this week, went on Fox to rip the impeachment process, which is probably how he got the gig. Come to think of it, the Dersh is a regular there, too.

Somewhere, Jeanine Pirro sits by her silent telephone and weeps.

Respond to this post on the Esquire Politics Facebook page here.

You Might Also Like