Ketchum: AI now bringing Jesus to your phone

Artificial intelligence, commonly known these days as AI, has come a long way since Alexa was born in somebody’s research lab a few years back.

I have Alexa in my house, and sometimes she seems uncomfortably like a real person. I find myself fighting the urge to tell her “thank you” after she gives me the weather forecast.

I learned a couple of years ago what the term “smart TV” means. I had to swap out a dumb TV in our family room that couldn’t deliver high-definition reception. Turns out the replacement is just another computer with which I have to wrestle after a power outage.

I miss my dumb TV.

Now it’s gone far, far beyond televisions and Alexas and carrying around more computer power in your cell phone than the Apollo astronauts took to the moon and back half a century ago.

Now you can text with Jesus. Yes, that Jesus. The guy born in the stable in Bethlehem. The guy with all the parables. The guy they crucified who rose from the tomb on the third day after his execution.

That Jesus. Kind of. You can do all of this thanks to an AI app called Text with Jesus that you can download from your friendly app store.

This piece of out-of-this-world technology lets you ring up the Savior of humankind on your cell 24-7. You can ask him pretty much anything, and he’ll provide an answer.

On top of that, you can also text with other members of the Holy Family, the apostles, the prophets and, for good measure, some Old Testament characters as well.

Oh, by the way, the app portrays Jesus as a white guy, even though the real Jesus likely wasn’t. Just so you know.

The app packs a whole seminary’s worth of information and puts it in the palm of your hand. Just like that. So who needs seminaries and the tuition costs that in some cases could follow its graduates to their graves?

For that matter, who needs churches anymore? Why roust yourself out of your nice, warm, comfy bed on a Sunday morning, pull yourself together and trundle off to your favorite house of worship for singing, worship and communion?

Why bother when it’s all sitting there in your cell phone. It’s all just a few clicks away, all the answers. Well, maybe not all the answers. For instance what becomes of all the unemployed clergy thrown out onto the street after their churches go belly-up?

I guess they’ll just have to log on to AI Jesus for some answers.

If this really catches on, what happens when you need a wedding service? Is the AI Jesus licensed to officiate? Maybe that’s where the Apostle Paul comes in. Maybe AI Paul or AI Peter can get legal sanction.

Or how about a funeral? How much comfort and consolation can AI Jesus deliver? It probably depends on whose phone he chooses to appear. Would the mourners have to wait a mandatory three days after someone’s demise before proceeding with the memorial?

Tell me this is just a fad that will, in fact, fade away sometime soon. Probably not. Putting AI back in its bottle – or chatbot – seems unlikely.

I’m not sure I’d call it blasphemy, although it does seem a trifle secular.

All the more reason for us to pray: “Come quickly Jesus.”

The real Jesus, that is.

Jim Ketchum is a retired Times Herald copy editor and a former religion editor. Contact him at jeketchum1@comcast.net.

This article originally appeared on Port Huron Times Herald: Ketchum: AI now bringing Jesus to your phone