Is Kissing Someone Else Considered Cheating?

Carolyn Twersky
Is Kissing Someone Else Considered Cheating?
Photo credit: Brad Gregory - Getty Images

From Seventeen

When I originally posed the question of "is kissing cheating?" to coworkers, friends, and social media (a Twitter and Instagram poll), the immediate response was something like, "Are you kidding? Of course!!" or "100%!" Then, after a few minutes, the quiet stragglers came through, popping their heads in the group chat to say, "personally, I don't think it is."

Everyone seems to have an opinion regarding whether or not kissing is considered cheating. Of course, it depends on the person, the couple, and the situation, so there isn't one definite answer. But, if you're also wondering if kissing is cheating (you're here, aren't you?!) join me as I break down the controversial question.

All relationships are different.

That's obvious. The boundaries set by one couple may seem outrageous to another, but that doesn't matter. As long as the guidelines you set in your relationship work for you, and you have an open dialogue with your partner about it, then other people's opinions are unimportant.

If you and your significant other don't think kissing constitutes as cheating, that's great! Kiss who you like. But, if your bae considers it cheating, then be respectful of that and save your lips for them. What's important is that there's an open communication about it. Don't assume your S.O. is going to be fine with you kissing someone else, talk to them about it. And keep the conversation going. People's opinions change and that's totally OK. So, if you and your bae allow kissing other people, but one day you decide it's no longer for you, tell them! Again, don't assume they're going to read your mind and realize that you're no longer OK with it. The most important thing is to figure out what's best for you and your partner and to be respectful of each other's preferences.

Consider the situation.

Making out with another person at a party may be cheating in your eyes, but engaging in a game of spin the bottle is all good. Not every kiss is equal. You can totally agree with your S.O. that all kisses are cheating, or maybe you decide it's all about the intent. If it's for a game, then it's OK, but if you're kissing someone due to your attraction to them, that may be crossing the line. Again, it's important to discuss these things with your bae so that you both know where you're coming from.

And, if you're ever not sure what your S.O. will think, just ask! I know, I'm repeating myself, but I'm going to say it again: it's better to have a conversation with your partner than assume what you think they will be OK with and risk being wrong and breaking their heart.

It's also important to consider cultural reasons for kissing. Some people kiss everyone on the cheek when they greet them, others may go in for the lips. If this is part of your bae's culture, you can voice your opinions, but in the end it might be something that you just have to accept.

I can't give you a definitive answer to you regarding whether or not kissing is cheating because everyone and every couple has the right to their own opinion. I will tell you, though, that in my very non-scientific polls that I conducted on social media, 95% of respondents said that yes, kissing is cheating. So, while that doesn't mean that you can't agree with your S.O. that you're allowed to kiss other people, it does mean that if you are planning to kiss another person, probably talk to bae first, because they may see it differently than you.

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