You Know I'm Right: The 21st, and probably, last century

As my readers (both of them) will tell you, I am, at heart, a very positive and optimistic person. (My loving wife of some 40 years ((MLWOS40yrs)) may not agree.) But I have to tell you, I am not pleased with the 21st century. While some remain hopeful, my experience so far has not been encouraging.

I am a car guy. President Biden apparently is a car guy, too, as he has a Corvette in his garage where he stores his classified documents. I have a Corvette, but I don’t store my documents or anything else in it except my sunglasses. I don’t have any classified documents from my days in the Navy because I was a supply guy and they don’t let supply personnel see any classified documents let alone take them home. I was surprised that the president drives a Corvette, though. He seems more like a Subaru person to me. But I digress. Due to mismanagement of the economy by the government, the average new car costs around $55,000! And no, I don’t blame the president because after all, he does drive a Corvette. When my 2006 Dodge Charger R/T with a tuned 350 horsepower 5.7 liter HEMI V-8 painted Brilliant Black Crystal Pearl (my daily driver when it is not Corvette weather) finally dies, I will have to mortgage the house to get a new ride. (It won’t be a Subaru.)

Secondly, it disturbs me that so many people are sporting tattoos. As an ex-sailor, I have nothing against a tasteful tattoo or two. I can neither confirm nor deny that I have an Upper Iowa University (of which I am a proud alumnus) Pete the Peacock tattooed on my behind. In today’s world, however, all ages and genders seem to be competing to cover as much of their bodies as possible. Your average grandmother today sports enough ink to supply a battleship full of sailors. I have seen old women at the gym who look like a Maori Warrior getting ready to execute the Haka!

And another thing that really makes me want to give up on the century; I do not like "self-checkout." In fact, I hate it. It has even infested our local grocery store! This tendency to take automation too far has got to stop. I know it is difficult to hire people to tend the cash registers, especially those that can make change, but maybe they should pay them more. No matter how carefully you obey the self-checkout rules, you will inevitably need a clerk to help you anyway. Because we no longer have a hardware store on Broadway (yes, we used to have one), I find myself making the trek to Lowes for supplies to attend to the multitude of projects MLWOS40yrs finds for me to fill my retirement hours. Not only is it difficult to find what you are looking for, it is difficult to find a cashier to check you out. That is because Mr. Lowe keeps adding more self-checkout kiosks, which I refuse to use.

Finally, you know me. I am all about reversing climate change and saving the whales. But is it really necessary to give up plastic bags? There are a hundred and one uses for plastic bags before you chuck them in the landfill. And what if you do? A million plastic bags won’t fill the lunch pail of a landfill denizen. (Now bags that escape into the ocean are another matter. Keep those bags ashore, please.)

So what can we expect in the coming years? Nothing good, I’m afraid. You know I’m right.

Don R. Haven is a retired Naval Officer and retired high school teacher, who splits time between Granville and South Carolina. He can be reached at 740-5048793 and donrichardhaven@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: You Know I'm Right: The 21st, and probably, last century