L.A. Sheriff handled Tiger Woods investigation as shoddily as Windermere Police Department | Commentary

Running off at the typewriter. …

It appears the Los Angeles County Sherriff’s Office tore a page out of the Windermere Police Department’s play book when conducting its investigation into Tiger Woods’ latest car crash.

The L.A. Sherriff’s Office released its findings Wednesday on Woods’ frightening one-car crash and stated the iconic golfer was driving 87 mph downhill in a 45-mph zone and there was no evidence he braked throughout the wreck. Woods smashed into barriers and then a tree, sending his Genesis SUV airborne before landing.

Woods told deputies he did not know how the crash occurred and did not remember driving. A nearby resident who was the first to arrive on the scene said Woods was unconscious behind the wheel of the car after the crash.

At the time of the accident Woods was recovering from a fifth back surgery, which took place two months earlier. Detectives did not seek search warrants for the athlete’s blood samples, which could have been screened for drugs or alcohol.

You would think based on Tiger’s history that detectives might have wanted to know if Tiger was been under the influence of painkillers and asleep at the wheel at the time of the crash. In May 2017, police in South Florida found him asleep behind the wheel of a car parked awkwardly on the side of the road. He was arrested on a DUI charge and said later that he had an unexpected reaction to prescription medicine for his back pain. Woods pleaded guilty to reckless driving and checked into a clinic to get help with prescription medication and a sleep disorder.

LA County Sheriff Alex Villanueva insisted Wednesday that Woods received no special treatment.

Sure he didn’t, Sheriff.

Just like he didn’t 12 years ago during the infamous scene on that Thanksgiving night in Windermere when another one-car car crash opened Pandora’s box to a shocking set of revelations that Woods had been cheating on his wife with multiple women — sending his golfing career into a state of free fall.

Back then, even though Tiger’s then-wife Elin Nordegren said he had been drinking and even though Tiger crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant … and a tree … and ran over a curb … and drove into some nearby hedges, the Windermere Police Department did not give him a sobriety test.

I guess it really doesn’t matter if you’re in a big city or a small town, the long arm of the law somehow miraculously shortens itself when investigating the rich and famous.

Short stuff: Sadly, I just found out that high-powered Orlando attorney and longtime mega-Florida Gators booster Stumpy Harris has passed away. The thing I always loved about Stumpy is that he was one of UF’s biggest financial boosters, but he donated his money with no strings attached. He didn’t use his deep pockets to exert his influence on athletics directors or school presidents. He donated to UF because he loved the Gators — period. “Coaches are supposed to coach, administrators are supposed to administrate, and boosters are supposed to show up and support the team, no matter what,” Stumpy once told me. “I can proudly say that I perform my role to a national championship level every year.” When I asked him about boosters who threaten to withhold contributions or cancel their season tickets if they don’t get their way, Stumpy replied with a snicker: “How many people are going to give up season tickets? Certainly, nobody with any good ones.” …

National championship-winning Baylor basketball coach Scott Drew was 21-53 during his first three years at the school. If Drew had been at Florida, the vocal minority of Mike White-bashing Gators Twitter trolls would have no doubt been calling for Drew to be fired. … Nike and other sponsors have separated themselves from Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson, who has been accused by 22 different female massage therapists of sexual assault and other sexual misconduct. Two months ago, we were talking about Watson demanding a trade to another team, but I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever play football again. … Speaking of sexual misconduct, LSU is being sued for $50 million for allegedly covering up Title IX violations during a time when former football coach Les Miles was accused of sexually harassing and inappropriately propositioning female students who worked in the football office. And you wonder why there is a “Me Too” movement. …

Did you see where ESPN fired Paul Pierce as an NBA analyst for posting racy Instagram videos showing him apparently having a poker party complete with marijuana and twerking exotic dancers? Personally, I think he should have been fired for just being a bad NBA analyst. … Khetag Pliev, a Russian MMA fighter, had his left ring finger torn off during a recent bout but still finished the fight. Welcome to the “digital” revolution. … The United States is considering boycotting the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing to protest human rights violations in China. If this happens, look for the NBA to independently send its own LeBron-led bobsled team to Beijing to compete!!! ... The answer: “This word describes aloof, arrogant NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers being considered as the new permanent host of ‘Jeopardy.’ " The question: “What is ‘ridiculous?’” …

Randy Shannon has worked at Miami, Florida, UCF and now FSU. Next stop, USF. … Hard to believe former Florida State wide receiver Travis Rudolph has been arrested on charges of first-degree murder. Who will ever forget the touching viral video in 2016 when Rudolph gained so much positive national attention during a visit to a local middle school in Tallahassee where he sat down at a table and had lunch with an autistic kid who often ate alone? How did Travis Rudolph get from there to here? … Not so sure North Carolina made the right move by hiring longtime Tar Heels assistant and former player Hubert Davis to replace Roy Williams. I get that Davis is part of the UNC family, but he’s never been a head coach before. I believe elite schools should hire the best candidate available, not the best family member available. …

Last word: In honor of Wednesday being National Beer Day, this quote comes from the great philosopher known simply as Anonymous: “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”