Lady Mary Colman, cousin of the Queen and dedicated supporter of Norfolk good causes – obituary

Lady Mary Colman, who has died aged 88, was the wife of Sir Timothy Colman, KG, former Lord Lieutenant of Norfolk, and a first cousin of the Queen. She was the daughter of Michael Bowes-Lyon, a brother of the Queen Mother, and his wife, Elizabeth Cator.

Mary Cecilia Bowes-Lyon was born on January 30 1932, at Gastlings, Biggleswade, Bedfordshire. She was twin to her sister Patricia, and younger sister of Fergus, the future 17th Earl of Strathmore & Kinghorne.

The children spent their holidays before and during the war with their grandfather at Glamis Castle, where it was said their father was at his happiest.

The twins were frequently bridesmaids, notably at the wedding of their cousin, Anne Bowes-Lyon to Viscount Anson in 1938, a union that produced the photographer, Lord Lichfield and his sister, Lady Elizabeth Anson, who died last year.

Mary was educated at Hatherop Castle, in those days more noted for instilling social graces than for academic achievement, and came out with a magnificent ball in London for 500 at Londonderry House in July 1949, generally deemed to have been the major social event of that year.

The King attended a private family dinner before it but was not well enough for the ball itself to which Queen Elizabeth went, accompanied by Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret.

On November 10 1951 Mary married Lieutenant Timothy Colman, RN, of the mustard family, at St Bartholomew-the-Great in Smithfield, London, the service attended by Queen Elizabeth (the Queen Mother) and Princess Margaret.

One of her bridesmaids was her cousin, Elizabeth Anson. The groom was the son of Captain Geoffrey Colman (who played first class cricket), and was a keen yachtsman who held the world speed sailing record for several years.

They began married life in Dorset, while Colman served with the Navy at Portland, but moved to Bixley Manor, south of Norwich in 1953. He enjoyed a successful business career as chairman of Eastern Counties Newspaper Group (later Archant), and was one of the founders of East Anglia University.

Lady Mary (as she became in 1974, following her brother’s succession to the Earldom of Strathmore in 1972), supported her husband in his business career, and with his extensive charity work. He served as Lord Lieutenant of Norfolk between 1978 and 2004, as his grandfather had done, and was created a Knight of the Garter in 1996.

Lady Mary served on the Eastern Daily Press’s “We Care 2000” appeal, which established the Norfolk Millenium Trust and supported unpaid carers in their work.

She was president of the Norfolk Autistic Society between 1975 and 2001, supported the work of Norwich Cathedral, and the Red Cross and was patron of the Barton Turf Choral Society.

A much loved figure, she reflected her love of flowers by running a dried flower business, called Flora Dessica, and she enjoyed music, playing the piano by ear, and singing.

In 1970 she was created an Extra Lady-in-Waiting to Princess Alexandra, accompanying her on certain engagements, often in Norfolk, and occasionally representing her at funerals, such as that for Ruth, Lady Fermoy, and memorial services.

When the Prince of Wales married in 1981, she brought dozens of lilies from Norfolk to adorn the Lady Chapel where the register was to be signed.

Her twin sister, Lady Patricia Tetley, who lived reclusively in Norfolk in her later years, died in 1995.

Lady Mary’s eldest daughter, Sarah Troughton, carried on the family tradition when she was appointed Lord Lieutenant of Wiltshire in 2012 (Sir Timothy’s maternal great- grandmother having served as such in Anglesey).

Lady Mary is survived by her husband and three daughters and two sons.

Lady Mary Colman, born January 30 1932, died January 2 2021