The lead singer of the Christian rock band Hawk Nelson says he doesn't believe in God anymore
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The lead singer of a popular Christian band announced on Instagram that he no longer believes in God.
Jon Steingard of Hawk Nelson wrote in a lengthy post that he'd felt doubts about his faith since childhood, but they grew increasingly pronounced as an adult.
Steingard said he hadn't been lying to the band's fans when he sang Christian music, and that he genuinely did believe in God at the time, but held back on expressing his doubts until he had fully processed his beliefs.
He also alluded to leaving Hawk Nelson and "giving up" his place in Christian music.
Steingard's bandmates told USA Today in a statement that their mission was to "inspire and encourage all people with the truth that God is FOR them and not against them."
The lead singer of the popular Christian rock band Hawk Nelson confessed in a lengthy Instagram post that he doesn't believe in God anymore.
"After growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor's kid, playing and singing in a Christian band, and having the word 'Christian' in front of most of the things in my life — I am now finding that I no longer believe in God," Jon Steingard wrote.
Steingard's bandmates weighed in on the matter in a joint statement to USA Today on Wednesday, saying their mission was to "inspire and encourage all people with the truth that God is FOR them and not against them."
They continued: "God is still FOR Jon & he still matters."
Steingard, who has been a member of Hawk Nelson since 2004, said his misgivings about Christianity began during childhood when he became uncomfortable with certain traditions.
"Praying in public always felt like some kind of weird performance art. Emotional cries such as 'Holy Spirit come fill this space' always felt clunky and awkward leaving my lips," he said.
He described another instance as a teenager, when he was encouraged to sign a pledge at a youth conference vowing to "date Jesus" for a year.
"It felt manipulative and unsettling to me. I didn't sign it," Steingard wrote.
He said his discomfort only increased with age. As an adult, he began questioning what he saw as contradictions within his religion. He wondered why evil and suffering occur throughout the world if God was truly "all loving, and all powerful."
Steingard suggested he will leave Hawk Nelson and Christian music behind
Steingard said he also struggled to reconcile the portrayal of God in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and described his distaste for a verse that seemed "really oppressive of women."
But nevertheless he continued making and performing music with distinct Christian themes. Steingard wrote that he hadn't been lying to the band's fans when he created the works, despite his doubts about the religion.
But he said he kept quiet about those doubts while he processed his thoughts, and only decided to speak out when they "solidified into a genuine point of view."
He continued: "I did believe those things at the time. I may have been pulling on the threads of the sweater, but there was still some sweater left back then."
He also appeared to suggest he would leave Hawk Nelson due to his new beliefs.
"While I know I can no longer stand on stage and in good conscience sing songs like 'Drops in the Ocean,' I no longer fear losing my place in Christian music. I know this means giving it up voluntarily," he said.
In a second Instagram post published Wednesday, Steingard thanked those who supported his announcement, and said he understood that some others felt betrayed by the news. He assured his followers that he had studied the Bible and prayed deeply about the doubts he had, but said the more he learned about Christian theology, the more questions he had.
He said he felt "icky" about ascribing a new label to his beliefs, but that he felt most comfortable with the term "agnostic."
"I certainly couldn't say for certain that God isn't there. I would prefer it if he was. It feels important for me to leave that door open," he said. "It's just that everything I've experienced, everything I've read, and everything I've discussed with friends and family leads me to a place where I can't honestly say I believe. Continuing to say nothing about that was beginning to feel dishonest."
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