LeBron James still doesn’t get the cringeworthy

We’re lucky LeBron James is coming back. We’re lucky that he’s not retiring, and that he’s going to continue to grace us with his presence on the basketball court.

Who says we’re lucky? LeBron James, of course!

James — I’m not on a first-name basis with him, as everyone else seems to be — announced a few weeks ago that he was considering retirement after his latest hand-picked team (I can’t remember which one it is now) was eliminated from the playoffs. Did anyone really believe that? Like everything else James does, it was calculated for attention. Anyway, at last week’s ESPYs, James ended the great nonmystery by telling us:

“The day I can’t give the game everything on the floor is the day I’ll be done. Lucky for you guys, that day is not today.”

Wahoo! Thank you for this favor!

For 20 years we’ve been watching James reveal his massive ego in a series of cringeworthy pronouncements like this latest one. It’s difficult to tell whether he simply lacks self-awareness — maybe he’s just tone deaf — or if he’s really that full of himself.

Probably both.

Remember when James declared that the Greatest-of-All-Time debate ended when his team at the time (let’s see, was it the Cleveland Cavaliers?) won the 2016 NBA Finals? “That one right there made me the greatest player of all time,” he said modestly. “That’s what I felt.”

Everyone else instantly saw this as an embarrassing misstep — but not James.

“Let other people say that for you,” said former Celtics great Kevin McHale. “ … I just didn’t like the way that sounded.”

“When you think of all of the great players … Kareem, Magic, none of them has ever come out and said, ‘I’m the GOAT,’” said another former Celtic, Paul Pierce. “That’s up to the fans, the writers and former players.”

“I have never heard Michael Jordan say he is the greatest of all time,” said NBA Hall of Famer Isiah Thomas.

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There’s that name again. It has always rankled the vainglorious James that he’s had to play in the shadow of Michael Jordan, who’s largely considered the Greatest of All Time in the American obsession of making such pronouncements. The difference between Jordan and James in this matter is simple: Nobody christened Jordan the Greatest of All Time until after his career, and, oh yeah, he wasn’t the one who was doing it. James has not only been his biggest advocate for his own GOAT title, but he’s been doing it since mid-career.

And James wonders why he’s not as popular as Jordan.

Then again, what else do you expect from a guy who has CHOSEN1 and KING JAMES tattooed on his body, and once posted a heartwarming Instagram message TO HIMSELF after scoring his 30,000th point — Wanna be one of the first to Congratulate you on this accomplishment/achievement tonight that you’ll reach!

Who does that?

He’s also the guy who (in)famously turned free agency into a long, drawn-out, attention-grabbing sideshow that culminated with a silly, embarrassing press conference in which he announced, “I’m going to take my talents to South Beach.”

He couldn’t simply say that he was going to sign with Miami, which would’ve been far more sensible and modest. During a subsequent press conference in Miami he promised championships — “not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven…!”

He won two.

James has no feel for the cringeworthy. He could watch a year’s worth of “The Office” episodes and not be embarrassed once for Michael Scott. Remember when James — channeling his best Michael Scott — decided that he wouldn’t shake the hands of his opponents following losses, explaining, “It’s hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them. I’m a winner. … It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand.”

Apparently, he couldn’t hear how bad that sounded.

More items from the LeBron James scrapbook: in 2009, he was seen in New York wearing an “LBJ MVP” shirt, and later doubled down on it by wearing a shirt that read, “Check my $tats.”

And then there’s this: in an online chippy repartee with a rival NBA player, he tweeted, “It’s apparent you’re staring at a legend.”

James will be 39 when he begins his 21st NBA season in the fall. There are many things he still hasn’t learned and doesn’t understand.