Lem Barney should be at Ford Field today, not in a messy court battle | Opinion

Lem Barney is one of the most iconic athletes of his generation. Watching his court battles is simply heartbreaking.

Barney was suave during his days with the Detroit Lions, dignified in retirement, carrying Detroit’s sports scene on his shoulders.

He deserves to live out his last days the same way. Instead, we’re watching the remainder of his life play out in the public's eye.

The NFL Hall of Famer, now 78, is the subject of a legal battle over who should control his money, and where he should live, for whatever time he has left. The man who called Detroit Lions games during the 1980s can no longer talk, let alone walk, or even comprehend what he’s going through.

That in itself pains me.

For those of us who can remember his playing days, it’s also knowing that the concussions he suffered on the field caused the dementia that robbed this city of nearly a decade of his time.

In our minds, Barney was supposed to be at Ford Field for Monday Night Football on Oct. 30, watching his friend Lomas Brown inducted into “The Pride of the Lions,” the team’s ring of honor.

We want him to be among the Lions greats on this Thanksgiving Day, rooting on the team in the best season in 60 years.

And we still want to reminisce about the 23 years when Barney calling HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) games on our televisions late Saturday nights, or listen to one more shared Lions memory.

It’s not how life is playing out, but it seems Barney understood that there were no guarantees.

“Life doesn’t always deal us a fair hand, but the hands that life deals us we must play them,” Barney said in his 1992 NFL Hall of Fame induction speech.

Lem Barney's complicated probate fight

Barney played his hand in a distinguished way.

But winning — whether monetary gain or control — is the goal in a courtroom battle over Barney’s estate.

Barney's fate is the subject of a three-year legal battle, waged between his children, his wife and his ex-wife. Last year, an Oakland County probate court judge terminated Barney's children's guardianship, after family members violated court orders and $350,000 disappeared from his two bank accounts. Barney's daughter moved him to Houston without permission from Barney's second wife, now in assisted living, being treated for schizophrenia. Barney was removed from the home his first wife, Martha Barney, shares with his son, after allegations of physical abuse at his ex-wife's hands caused Texas protective services workers to relocate him to a nursing home.

His son, endorsed by and longtime friend Dave Bing, previously Detroit's mayor and a legendary Detroit Pistons player, petitioned to have the former Lions cornerback moved back to his ex-wife’s house, but the court learned Martha Barney's home was in foreclosure. Bing offered financial assistance to Barney’s family members for payment plan to resolve the debt, stopping short of saying he’d pay off Martha Barney’s Houston house.

Aretha Franklin, Rosa Parks, Don Barden: a sad, familiar script

Family dramas play out every day in probate court, with fights over money and assets. So Barney’s dilemma isn’t anything new.

But there’s just a certain je ne sais quoi that comes with being a superstar in Detroit, mostly because we’ve grown up with our celebrities. They grocery shop amongst us, show up at a local gym for a run and sing on Sundays at our local churches.

We’re not phased when we spot Big Sean watching a football game at his alma mater, Cass Tech, Jalen Rose at a Pistons game or Pershing and Michigan State hoops star Steve Smith walking through the crowd at Ford Field for Monday Night Football.

Simply put, we’re not Hollywood, where celebrity gossip and TMZ follows our folks around. Our superstars are a part of our community, people we can interact and socialize with regularly.

That familiarity with our icons is what makes it so disheartening when cases such as Barney’s play out in court, making headlines.

It's more hurtful because it’s a reminder of our interactions together around Detroit. That’s what cuts us more deeply, because we feel like we know them.

But he’s — unfortunately — no different than any other icons whose family fights were played out publicly

Call me naive, but our icons also deserve to rest in peace after their contributions have been done. I expect our best to live their last days, not like an episode of a reality TV show.

After Aretha Franklin died in 2018, it took about five years for a court to resolve the dispute between her family members over which of two wills was valid.

Her sons, sadly, turned against each other, putting the Queen of Soul’s business in our faces.

Ultimately, a court ruled that a handwritten will drafted in drafted in 2014 overrode a 2010 document.

Similar court battles were waged with the estates of Rosa Parks and casino mogul Don Barden.

Seven years after Parks’ death at 92 in 2005, a legal settlement was reached to give Parks’ longtime caretaker Elaine Steele and the Rosa and Raymond Parks Institute for Self Development 80% of Parks’ estate. Her family members received the rest.

Millions were potentially at stake in the sale of Parks’ possessions and royalties from the sale of items that use her name or likeness.

Family members fought over the estate of Don Barden, an cable franchise owner and casino mogul, who died in 2011. Before his death, Barden and wife Bella Marshall had become estranged. Two of Barden's siblings filed suit, alleging that a trust conveying most of Barden's estate to Marshall and their daughter, but excluding his son from a previous relationship, was fraudulent. Marshall died in a household accident shortly after the lawsuit was filed.

Guided by love, walk with dignity

It’s all messy.

Barney doesn’t deserve this. It’s bad enough watching a man who was once a world class athlete fade before us.

It’s also what he represents.

Barney exuded class. He always dressed well, whether in a Detroit Lions leather jacket, underneath, a dress shirt and bow tie, or his gold Hall of Fame jacket.

Off the field, Barney gave as much of his time to philanthropy as he did to football, following his belief that love for your family, friends, co-workers and community “is our most powerful weapon.”

“Love, I believe, is our most motivating factor we could have in life,” Barney said in that Hall of Fame speech.

Maybe all involved should all take a step back and do what’s best — not the most selfish and profitable — for Barney.

My hope is the people around Barney can be guided by love for a man who’s enduring the toughest fight during the fourth quarter of his lifetime. That, we hope, will let the rest of us remember Barney with the same dignity he lived.

Darren A. Nichols is a contributing columnist at the Free Press. He can be reached at darren@dnick-media.com or his X (formerly Twitter) handle @dnick12. Submit a letter to the editor at freep.com/letters.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Detroit Lions great Lem Barney doesn't deserve messy court battle