Lenawee Smiles: Running down a dream of Oxford studies
I keep telling myself that this thing should not be this difficult. I will be the first person to admit that I am not very good at navigating the internet. I am quite good, however, at supporting Amazon. My latest foray into getting what I want when I want it has turned into a nightmare of sorts.
For a number of years, I have wanted to take a couple of short classes at Oxford University in Merry Olde England. I have saved pounds and pence toward that end and at last have reached my financial goal.
I went into Oxford’s website with good intentions to try to find out how I could take just two short classes in the summer of 2024. I had no intention of taking over the campus or attempting to wear an academic robe and bonnet.
I found an email address and sent off a simple request that went something like this:
“I am interested in taking two of Oxford’s 2024 summer short courses. Please send me information about enrollment and costs. The courses are Medieval History and Archeology (English). Thank you.”
Within 24 hours, I received a polite reply:
“Dear Susan,
“Thank you for your kind interest in our summer education courses. Are you interested in the summer programs for 9-13 year olds, 14-18 year olds or 19-24 year olds?
“Kindest regards,
“Agnes”
To which I replied,
“Dear Agnes,
“Thank you so much for your prompt reply.
“I am interested in two courses for 80 to death year olds.
“Warmest regards,
“Susan”
I did not receive a reply from Agnes or anyone else at Oxford.
A number of weeks passed while I grumbled to myself about the seeming inability to get what I wanted. In the meantime, I continued to shovel through Oxford’s website hoping to find what I wanted. At one point, I found that I could spend an entire summer in the glory of Oxfordian study, staying in student housing, meals included and experience academia at its British best for a mere 7,999 British Pounds Sterling. Or, $9,968 at today’s exchange rate.
When I factored in airfare and a week of plays in London, hotels and meager food, I was well over $12,000.
Clearly, this was not going to happen.
I continued to go deep into Oxford’s site. By now, I had worn off my fingerprints and found I was squinting. Things in general did not look good. Just as I was about to spend my Oxford fund shopping for a Maine coon cat, I received another email from Oxford. My name must have been tossed into their general promo mailing list.
This email was from the Department of Continuing Education. A very faint flicker of hope started to appear before me. Perhaps this was a good sign. I allowed myself to have a few moments of thin excitement. I cautiously sent an email to this department, once again expressing my wish to take a two-week course in Medieval History and one in Archeology (English). In my earlier fumblings about I had found many lists of topics being taught that lasted for just “10 meetings.” So I knew these courses fit my earnest desire.
I will say this: if you send an email to Oxford, its recipients anticipate it and answer it almost before it lands in a mailbox somewhere on the campus. Perhaps it doesn’t go any further than someone’s bathroom in the Bronx.
Anyway, I got a courteous reply explaining at great length how Oxford would be delighted to have me take these two courses online and here was the information telling me how to go about doing it….
I fell into a long and wet fit of weeping. No, I did not want to take an online course — or two of them. I wanted to go to Oxford by train from Paddington Station. Then stay at a modest hotel close to the hall where these classes are taught, attend them for two weeks, thoroughly enjoy the ambience of Oxford and then go back to London for some time before returning home.
How difficult is this? Not very, as far as my tiny mind could understand.
Then a horrible thought struck me.
What if Oxford University no longer exists? What if all the classes are now taught by some don in the warmth of his kitchen while he sits in a tatty bathrobe drinking coffee or whisky (time of day dependent) and being filmed?
What if those shining spires now hover over empty buildings?
I am in mourning.
Susan Keezer lives in Adrian. Send your good news to her at lenaweesmiles@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Susan Keezer: Running down a dream of Oxford studies
