Let's declare a cease-fire in the 'war on Christmas'

Let me start off this holiday missive with a confession: I’ve decorated my house for Christmas (not the holidays) with two wreaths and a 7-foot “forever” tree replete with ornaments from family and friends. I baked a half-dozen pecan pies as Christmas gifts, and if you visit you’re likely to hear Ella Fitzgerald singing the classic Christmas carol, “Come O Ye Faithful.” In my house, the holiday is Christmas.

Take me out of my house, however, and I sing a different holiday tune. That’s because there are dozens of holidays — both religious and secular — celebrated this time of year, many of them symbolized by the evergreens that have been used throughout history to mark the winter solstice. This is also the month in which we wage the annual culture war over which holiday should prevail.

This useless “War on Christmas” saddens me for many reasons, not the least of which is because it casts such a pall over what should be a season of celebration. Instead of embracing the season for its glorious diversity of human beliefs, we splinter into factions that quarrel over who “owns” the December holidays, who gets to display their decorations in the public square, and what to call multicultural celebrations. We even argue over how to greet one another during what should be a festive time.

In fact, a new report, “Divisiveness and Collaboration in American Public Life: A Hidden Common Ground Report,” found that nearly three-quarter of Americans, “regardless of political affiliation, think there is more common ground among the public than the media and politicians portray.”

This year’s installment of the “War on Christmas” began innocuously enough, with an early October post on the official Facebook page of Charleston, W. Va.: “The Charleston Winter Parade will begin at the corner of Kanawha Boulevard and Capitol Street.” Many Charleston residents immediately called foul on the town’s new mayor, Amy Goodwin, for renaming what had previously been the Christmas Parade.

When I first read about this holiday mess — I mean Christmas mess — I felt sorry for the mayor, who had told the New York Times she “didn’t see her decision to rename the parade as a war on anything.” If anything, Goodwin explained, “I wanted to show that Charleston is a welcoming and inclusive city.” Good for her.

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Except that really didn’t work out. Charlestonians successfully demanded that Goodwin reverse course, claiming that the name change was an attack on Christianity, if not, as the Times reported, “a shot against a way of life that had already changed so much in recent decades.” To many in Charleston, the renaming of the Christmas Parade was the last straw.

Scott Walker blasts 'holiday tree'

Not a month later, Wisconsin’s former Republican governor, Scott Walker (who lost his 2018 re-election battle) went ballistic on Twitter and Fox News when the current governor, Democrat Tony Evers, renamed the State Capitol’s evergreen a “holiday” tree. On Twitter Walker posted: "This is a Christmas Tree that is used by people celebrating Christmas. This is not a holiday tree." (In fact, for the 25 years before Walker took office the State Capitol’s official tree was known as a “holiday” tree, with nary a dissenting word.) On Fox the defeated former governor doubled down: "No disrespect to people who practice other faiths, but Christ is right in the name of Christmas.”

Yes, I can spell, too. But the issue really is that a holiday tree is appropriate for display in the Wisconsin state capitol. Neither Christ nor Christmas belongs center stage in a public building, especially when funded by taxpayer dollars.

That’s because there’s a fundamental difference between celebrating any religion in our homes and suggesting that one particular religion is our nation’s “official” one. The doctrine of separation of church and state is enshrined in the U.S. Constitution, where the First Amendment reads, in part, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” As far as I know the Constitution still includes cities like Charleston and states like Wisconsin.

We live in a secular nation

As much as I celebrate Christmas in my house, I’m with Goodwin and Evers who understand that ours is a secular nation. Time and again the Supreme Court has backed this principle, notably with its 1980 ruling that posting the Ten Commandments in public schools was unconstitutional. Apropos of Christmas, the nation’s highest court decided in 1989 that it was unconstitutional to erect a nativity scene on public property, funded by taxpayers.

We’re smack dab in the middle of a larger culture war, but here’s a novel thought: When it comes to the holiday season — Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Winter Solstice, Christmas, whatever anyone celebrates — why don’t we declare a ceasefire and use these darkening weeks to reach out to each other.

In that spirit, try to remember that one size doesn’t fit all. Before you say “Merry Christmas,” Happy Hanukkah,” or “Happy Holidays” (or take offense at what someone has said to you), think about the person you’re greeting. If you know someone celebrates a religious holiday, do the right thing and incorporate what you know into your greeting. It takes away nothing from your own faith or holiday of choice. If you don’t know someone’s religious faith, why not ask, “What holiday do you celebrate?” What a good way to bridge gaps and misunderstandings from the get-go, and maybe even learn something new.

This kind of purposeful inclusion is central to civility and inclusion and, dare I say, to the tenets of what our nation stands for: no state religion. To paraphrase Wisconsin’s former governor, it’s the spirit that is embedded right in the heart of Christmas.

Now let me go back to my pie baking and shopping for gifts, which both Democrats and Republicans know, is the real reason for Christmas.

Steven Petrow is a member of USA TODAY's Board of Contributors and the author of five books on etiquette. Follow him on Twitter: @StevenPetrow or like him on Facebook at facebook.com/stevenpetrow.

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'War on Christmas' arguments cast pall on season of celebration