Letters: Teaching boys is critical to stopping rape

Teaching boys is critical to stopping rape

Rape is a very serious crime and many cases are going unnoticed. There are so many things we could be doing to begin to stop it, but no one is willing to take those steps.

In our culture, people tend to blame the victim and congratulate the offender, writes Kathryn Stamoulis in Psychology Today. It is crucial to our society if we teach children about consent, using age-appropriate information to do so. Some parents today believe that it is unnecessary to teach their children, more specifically sons, not to rape. The reason we need to focus more on educating boys and young men about rape is that 98% of female victims are raped by a male, and 93% of male victims are also raped by a male.

Females, when they are young, have had the “do not let yourself get raped” talk pounded into their heads while their male peers have had little to no education about consent or rape. Rape is very preventable, and it is crucial we start simply to stop it.

— Samara Roush, Huxley

Sexual violence is rampant

The Des Moines Register’s Lee Rood has laid before us a mind-bending article on, “Violence toward women on the rise.” The history before us echoes similar stories. Women are on a never-ending saga of inhumane treatment.

Rood’s first paragraph was head jerking: “The Des Moines metro has seen an alarming spate of serious domestic violence of late, with seven women — Kristie Allen, Jayme Ekis, Emma Parker, Danielle Remily, Natasha Williams, Nelcybert Estafani Castillo Mata as well as a yet-unnamed woman in Indianola — shot over the past two months by men who later turned their guns on themselves. Six of the seven women involved in the shootings lost their lives.”

This article further relates sexual violence in the high schools grades nine through 12 that is on the rise. Thankfully, help is on the way due to the Des Moines Public Schools having introduced curriculum on sex trafficking and sexual violence among high school students.

Let’s hope this doesn’t encourage the Iowa Legislature to ban this unforgiving history from those who need help. The untold number of banned books, an individual’s profile, and specifying curriculum denials of histories past, these are not educational advances for anyone.

— John Carver, Decorah

Fentanyl response is woefully inadequate

Our world is filled with dangers and tragedies. Here are a few picked for you to consider: 2021 US traffic fatalities, 2021 US suicides, American military deaths in the Vietnam War, American military deaths in the Korean conflict, and deaths from the 2022 heat wave in Europe.

Pick any two of these and add them together, they are still topped by the 107,375 US deaths from fentanyl overdoses in 2021. That's just in ONE year!

We have ended wars, mandated seat belts and air bags, adopted an expensive climate change program and promoted mental health measures. But our leaders lack the will to curtail the illegal distribution of a poisonous chemical into our land. One wonders if it takes the death of the innocent child of a celebrity or politican to get some common-sense response. Let's not wait to set a new record in overdose fatalities.

To check my figures: Traffic 42,915, suicide 47,646, Vietnam 58,220, Korea 36,516, heat wave about 15,000.

— Frank Hayer, Adel

We’ll accomplish little without civility

Kudos to the Taxpayers Association of Central Iowa for sponsoring a well-attended summit on civility in our politics on Feb. 22. Without civility we will never be able to work together to overcome our deep divisions and find common ground to make Iowa a better place.

We should also recognize that incivility is a symptom of deeper problems: breaking with truth and facts, presenting propaganda and disinformation as news, attacking elections and other democratic institutions, and riding roughshod over the rule of law.

— Jim Chrisinger, Ankeny

Are busing costs equitable?

Randy Evans’ guest column on Feb. 23 brings up how expensive it is to use buses transporting children to schools. The elimination of smaller local schools has meant hours a day children must spend riding to the district schools.

As a taxpayer I do not mind paying for the education of all my neighbors’ children, but shouldn't there be a means test for paying for the busing? Why would a person living in a $45,000 house be expected to pay chauffeuring costs for the children of a neighbor making $150,000? Maybe if the rich pay to transport their children to school we can keep the schools open five days a week.

— Michael Montross, Winterset

Changes to Department for the Blind would be harmful

Usually, smaller government means more efficiency and fiscal responsibility than large government. Once in a while, when planning government realignment, legislators do harm to some of the people they’re trying to help by consolidating administrative agencies. This is one of those times.

I'm a retired attorney who’s lived in downtown Des Moines for almost 50 years. I’ve practiced in my own firm, worked for an insurance company and a bank, and worked as an independent contractor serving as a policy analyst at the Iowa Department for the Blind.

I write because House Study Bill 126 and Senate Study Bill 1123 with Division 13 as currently drafted, if passed, will be bad law, pure and simple. Permit me to explain.

I’ve been a blind Iowan all my 67 years and I’ve greatly benefitted from the services I’ve received from the Iowa Department for the Blind, an executive branch agency. We blind Iowans have an amazing history because Dr. Kenneth Jernigan left us a marvelous gift: a codified right to a voice in the services, which can make or break our hopes and dreams of career and lifestyle, that the Department provides. Our present Commission for the Blind structure grants us the opportunity and responsibility to ensure that the person directing the agency knows about blindness, cares about services to blind people, and will always be duty-bound to defend and support the interests, well-being, and success of our minority group, regardless of political affiliation.

If these bills become law, our Commission for the Blind will be composed of optometrists, fully-sighted “experts” who’ve never lived blind, friends of the governor’s staff, and campaign supporters who know nothing of blindness and don’t care about services for the blind, because they’ve never needed them.

Blind people are the experts on blindness. We know what services we want and need. Therefore, I zealously oppose Division 13.

I’ve paid state and federal taxes for many years; thus, I’ve been paying my elected officials to make wise decisions. The future of true equity and full inclusion of blind people in our state depends on their doing so now in the Iowa House and Senate. If they fail to decide this matter wisely, they will disregard and ignore a minority group of Iowans who will remember and vote accordingly.

— Mary McGee, Des Moines

What I learned from Oscar

As a retired librarian, I want to share this story to show how students will always be confronted with circumstances unlike anything their parents taught them.

During the 1970s, I often read aloud to elementary students seated in front of me in small groups. One group of girls always included Oscar. Oscar was well-liked and I never heard student comments about his taking part.

Going forward a few years, I moved to the high school library, where I observed these same students as teenagers. Oscar had maintained early friendships and was still well-liked. When Oscar later transitioned to a woman, it became clear she was always female.

As a librarian and a person who loves books, I know in the long run every book is someone's experience readers can accept or reject. Ultimately books give readers the chance to broaden life and help understand the masses of society. Banning books in schools today won't mean students will be shielded from “the other.”

— Susan Bescher, Des Moines

This should be a ‘get along’ state

Although I am a native Midwesterner and now a long-time Iowan, I have lived on the East Coast and in poor areas of Appalachia. I came to believe that Easterners wanted to “get ahead,” poor folks in Kentucky just wanted to “get by,” and Iowans wanted to “get along.”

Unfortunately, that no longer seems to be the case here. Gov. Kim Reynolds has changed everything, pitting people against people, rich against poor, natives against outsiders, private schools against public ones. But Iowa need not be a “zero sum” state with winners and losers. We can be a “get along” state again, where everyone has a chance to succeed but it will take leaders whose main goal is not to “get ahead”!

— Robert Friedman, Waterloo

Derailment should have repercussions

My heart goes out to the people of East Palestine, Ohio, impacted by the train derailment. They are being exposed to toxic chemicals and many will undoubtedly suffer serious health effects.

I can relate to the battle that is ahead for them to get adequate health care and financial compensation for their injuries and disrupted way of life. With the increased knowledge that exists today regarding the effects of toxic chemicals on the environment and health, there is no excuse for the responsible parties not to be held to account.

— Elaine Brostrom, Des Moines

Another one to watch out for

Gov. Kim Reynolds is overlooking one book that she no doubt will believe should be banned after becoming aware of its deplorable content.

When I was in grade school in the 1960s on a day recess was inside due to inclement weather, one of my female classmates summoned several girls to a corner, to which she had taken a dictionary from the bookshelf. Apparently, her progressive mother had spoken to her about the birds and the bees. This girl was now aware of some very risqué terms and was anxious to share her newfound knowledge.

We had not known what filth was in a book right in our classroom! That was my introduction to sex education. The governor must look into this. Of course, now most of us look up words in an online dictionary – even worse. Be sure to take cellphones and computers away from students and forbid them to speak to other children.

— Linda Warren, Des Moines

Sec Taylor, tell me what happened?

I just read recently that the new metro area soccer complex on the Drake University campus will be named Mediacom Stadium.

One of the entrance gates will be called Prairie Meadows West Gate and the field named after the Ankeny billionaire family: Albaugh Field.

While it is gracious the money they are donating, where is the humility in all of this? What happened to the adult in the room? Why not name this complex after one of the people who spent 40 years or so working for the school district or perhaps a coach of one of the high schools?

That's the story you tell to your son or daughter when you sit at the game and they ask you who Sec Taylor was. What a great response you would have, one that is insightful and perhaps motivating to the younger generation. I guess corporate tax cuts, and lots of gambling proceeds isn't enough for these groups to take the back seat.

― Joseph Logsdon, Des Moines

New law shouldn’t require immunity provision

Iowa Senate File 167 would expand the ability to work for young Iowans between the ages of 14 and 18. Part of the bill pertains to school work-study programs. One provision reads, "A business that accepts a secondary student in a work-based learning program shall not be subject to civil liability for any claim for bodily injury to the student or sickness or death by accident of the student arising from the business’s negligent act or omission during the student’s participation in the work-based learning program at the business or worksite."

I don't see any good reason to grant this immunity to businesses for their own negligence. Of course, businesses would like this immunity, but what they would like does not make it the right thing to do. This provision should be taken out of the bill.

― Kurt Johnson, Urbandale

Battle drugs with more troopers

With fentanyl killing many Americans with no knowledge they are even taking it, the war on drugs is more critical than ever. I suggest that lawmakers fund the Iowa State Patrol to the levels of a decade ago so we can monitor our borders and highways more effectively to protect Iowans. The state has low population growth but the traffic on interstates has grown, I am sure. We all know the southern border is a big issue, but the states have a responsibility to be part of the solution too. Leadership on important issues like this could save some precious lives.

― Doug Harrison, Mount Pleasant

This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: Letters: Teaching boys is critical to stopping rape