Letters to the Editor: The paradox of modern parenting: We love our kids but ruin their world
To the editor: I support and applaud anyone's choice to be child-free, but I am not sure Ursula Taherian's argument — that she is choosing between parenting and the luxuries of martinis and "freedom" — is going to be highly convincing to the busybodies who press her to procreate.
In my world, men and women are basing their parenting choices on economics and the environment. My adult children have a much steeper uphill battle in both those areas than my generation did, and we have myriad statistics and anecdotal evidence to prove it.
I have one precious grandchild and shudder to think what the world will be like when she is my age in 63 years. At the same time I don't know how we lived without her for so long. It's a very sad paradox of our time.
Bethia Sheean-Wallace, Fullerton
..
To the editor: It's interesting to read articles from childless women lately, and Taherian's piece best summed up the trials we undergo for our choices.
I never felt I could be a mother. I too waited for my biological clock to start ticking. Instead I found myself in early menopause, which conveniently served as a reason why I couldn’t have children.
Unlike most women, I knew I would be a horrible mother. What speck of maternal feelings I had were erased by the knowledge that I had freedom over my life. The worst part was the judgment I received from family and friends, which I too recognized was "about making other people feel bad about their choices."
Our world today is quite simply a mess. Me not having children hasn't hurt society at all.
Cynthia Kokawa Lerner, Los Angeles
..
To the editor: I married young and didn't look forward to having children; I just expected to have a family as most people do.
I didn't go to college but worked for a while and married. When I found out I was pregnant, I had been married for three years and looked forward to being a parent.
I have had a fantastic career, all of which occurred after my three daughters were born and grew up. One can always have a career, but one cannot always have children.
All the things I have accomplished, becoming a stockbroker, owning a travel agency for 10 years, owning a cafe and gift shop in Santa Monica for 25 years — none of it compares to the joy of having three wonderful daughters.
Careers come and go, but family is with you always.
Marcia Jacobs, Culver City
This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.
