Letters: Healing process a unique journey for every sexual assault survivor

In the popular Netflix thriller, “Luckiest Girl Alive,” Mila Kunis plays 28-year-old magazine editor Ani Fanelli, living what may seem the ideal life. Engaged to a wealthy, attractive financier, she is choosing between moving to England or working at The New York Times.

Yet, throughout the film, Ani is haunted by a gang rape she endured in high school. When one of her rapists accuses Ani of participating in a school shooting that left him paralyzed, she agrees to appear in a documentary to defend herself. In doing so, she is forced to face the harrowing experience of her assault and loses her fiancé (who does not want her to speak publicly about the attack).

As Ani opens up about her assault, she reflects upon her trauma and starts the healing process. As so many television shows and movies tackle the topic of sexual assault, we have to ask, “When does healing begin?”

For Marilyn Monroe in “Blonde,” who endured several rapes, healing never starts. Celeste in “Big Little Lies,” assaulted by her husband, starts healing when her husband dies. Arabella in “I May Destroy You,” sexually assaulted by strangers, begins healing as she starts to process the myriad of ways the attack changes her life.

At the Women’s Center of Jacksonville (WCJ), we support sexual assault survivors with a 24-hour rape crisis hotline at 904-721-7273, forensic exams and counseling. We understand every survivor of sexual assault heals differently. For some, healing begins as soon as the attack ends; for others, it takes years to start healing.

As sexual assaults increase in Duval, Baker and Nassau counties (the hotline saw a 28% rise in calls to rape crisis hotline in 2021-2022 over the previous year, and an 8% increase in the number of forensic exams performed), we want to remind survivors we are here for every survivor at every point of their journey, around the clock and 365 days of the year.

We help them heal, whenever and however they choose, because healing is unique to each survivor.

Laura Van Zee, president, Women’s Center of Jacksonville  

It worked in 1869

Maybe Democrats in Florida and the nation need to employ a political strategy used successfully by Republicans after the Civil War.

Southern states, led overwhelmingly by Democrats, committed political suicide in 1861 by seceding from the Union and provoking one of our nation's worst tragedies. The victorious Union, dominated by Republicans, believed such disloyalty should have a heavy price. They painted Southern Democrats as untrustworthy to hold political power at the federal level and took steps to keep them out of office.

Republicans then dominated the presidency and much of Congress for the next 20 years. Being wrong (and disloyal) cost Democrats heavily.

So, what might Democrats do now that replicates what Republicans pursued almost 160 years ago? Point out to American voters that many election deniers are running as Republican candidates in the mid-term elections. Voters should find out who they are and remember the truth — Biden won in 2020.

FiveThirtyEight.com (a statistical analysis site owned by ABC News) states that of 540 candidates across our nation (for the House, Senate, governor or secretary of state), 199 Republicans fully denied the legitimacy of the 2020 election and 118 of them are all but assured of winning. Only 74 said they would fully accept the results. Do Americans want a major party that can't accept the simple fact that in a democracy, if you lose -- you lose?

If these deniers do gain power, will they do whatever they can to prevent Democrats from ever getting back in office? That's what authoritarian regimes do.

We have never faced such an extreme threat to the American style of democracy. Election deniers exist. Maybe the post-Civil War strategy needs to be waged to keep those disloyal Republicans out of office.

Dave Neal, Fleming Island 

JSO needs a fresh start

“Serve and protect” is exactly what we expect for our tax dollars going to the sheriff’s office. Once displayed on police cars, this moniker means a lot more than simply law enforcement; it’s a much broader mandate. Culture is at the heart of it.

Have you ever seen a police officer drive right through an intersection with stop lights out? Do you ever see much of a police presence downtown in the evenings when patrons are attending various events? No wonder the downtown area has never taken off — safety is questionable.

We now have an opportunity to vote in a new sheriff. One has overseen units for homicide, violent crime, robbery, special assault, auto crimes, gun intelligence, cold cases and gangs. All while the measures in these areas were getting worse and worse. This is T.K. Waters.

Lakesha Burton set records for reducing crime in the area she commanded for JSO. She also realizes that it is not how many resources you have but how you use them. Jacksonville has long needed a community policing approach, yet JSO has often neglected it, citing a lack of manpower, etc. This is nonsense. It really comes down to commitment and culture. You either want to “serve and protect” or you want to avoid the hard work it entails.

So, the choice is either more of the failed same or an opportunity to make a fresh start. Join me in supporting Lakesha Burton for sheriff.

Peter Bower, president and CEO, Riverplace Capital 

How did we get here?

My friend and I were recently going door to door, providing information to Democratic voters in an Atlantic Beach neighborhood, something I have done for decades throughout Jacksonville. A man and his dog were sitting in the driveway across the street.

I went over and gave his dog a treat before going to the next house on our list. He asked us what we were doing and then why we were supporting the Democratic ticket. As we started to answer, he began shouting profanities at us, getting ever louder and using increasingly vile, hate-filled language.

In all the years that I have registered voters, volunteered in campaigns and canvassed I have never seen anyone so aggressively hostile (even after I gave his dog a treat). He ended by telling us to "go back to New York." I have lived in Jacksonville for 45 years, raising my family here, now with two grandchildren. We were both stunned by his diatribe and frankly — a little afraid.

As we drove away, we talked about the issues that motivate us to be Democrats: voting rights, affordable health care, protecting a woman’s right to choose, the climate crisis, common sense gun legislation, reforming immigration policies, protections for LGBTQ+ people and more. It is of grave concern that neighbors are so provoked by others who have different beliefs. An elderly man sitting in front of his home on a lovely day is driven to shouting expletives at strangers with a different world view.

Surely, we as Americans can do better.

Judy Sheklin, Atlantic Beach

Disturbed by antisemitic attacks

Antisemitism has no place in today's world. Unfortunately, we are seeing a steady increase on college campuses and in other areas of the U.S. Even in Jacksonville, where the latest display of antisemitism included two banners, posters and even electronic messages at the end of the Florida-Georgia game.

These attacks by an ignorant few are disturbing and reprehensible.

Consider that the world’s Jewish population is approximately 14.8 million or 0.02% of 7.95 billion people globally. Look at what a small segment of the world’s population has contributed to mankind in the arts, medicine and science. The number of Jewish Nobel Laureates is astonishing.

During the Civil Rights era of the 1950s and ‘60s, Jews contributed in many ways to facilitate equal rights for all citizens. Just ask the families of Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner about their fatal contribution for African American voting rights in Mississippi. In that regard, I find it especially troubling that a small segment of the community has espoused antisemitic rhetoric.

It would be interesting to see what percentage of Jacksonville's Jewish community has endowed various cultural and civic entities.

By the way, I'm not Jewish — just an average gentile who respects all cultures.

John Haynes, Jacksonville

Hate speech never right

People need to stop supporting hate speech. How would you like it if it was directed at you? We need less hate in the world because there's already too much. Think about what you are doing, please; stop the public laser shows and posters saying “Kanye was right.”  

That kind of talk is never right — it's always just wrong.

Shelton Armour, Arlington

Shameful antisemitic messages

I found out that an antisemitic message was projected on several Jacksonville buildings outside our football stadium during the Florida vs. Georgia football game last weekend. The company (or companies) that run those buildings and whoever is responsible should be publicly shamed.

Roy Goldman, Jacksonville Beach 

Send Lawrence to the bench

After an embarrassing list of losses and inexcusable mistakes, it is time to realize that Trevor Lawrence is not a generational QB as he was previously advertised. The guy is not developed enough to play at this level and may never live up to expectations. He doesn’t even look or sound mature during the post-game interview. He still sounds like a college player at Clemson — not a professional.

Perhaps they should bench Lawrence for Beathard and see how the rest of the team plays with a confident leader in control. The fans deserve better at this point and the boos will start coming soon.

John McKeown, St. Augustine 

No time for idle bystanders

There are people who make things happen, there are people who watch things happen and there are people who wonder what happened. In which category do you find yourself when considering the state of our democracy today?

How best can we stand up for the poor, immigrants and the LBGTQ community? How can we reverse recent injustices to women and minorities? How do we push back against the greed and narcissism of self-serving politicians? How can we fund programs that protect our waters and wildlife?

A good way to start is to cast our votes for the people who support these values.

Elizabeth Fiorite, Westside Jacksonville 

My socks change less than Crist

An Oct. 29 letter writer encouraged people to vote for Charlie Crist for governor. How in the world can someone in good conscience vote for a person that changes political affiliation more than the average person changes socks?

All I get out of such political meandering is that Crist changes parties and positions only when he feels it will get him more votes. This is zero integrity and the State of Florida deserves a leader that stands by his convictions. DeSantis is the right man for the job.

John Reinheimer, Fleming Island

No substance in campaign ads

To all candidates running for office and current politicians: I hate negative political ads almost as much as I detest voter suppression. So, do not tell us what problems that you believe the “other guys” created. Instead, tell us specifically and exactly how you will (or think you can) fix them.  

Give us policies, programs, solutions, goals and ideals.  

Richard Keene, retired attorney, Neptune Beach

This article originally appeared on Florida Times-Union: Letters: Healing process different for every sexual assault survivor