A life well lived: Salina couple celebrates 75th wedding anniversary

Marlin Ames doesn't remember the name of the restaurant he was eating at on that particular day. He doesn't remember what he had, or where, exactly, it was located in Manhattan, Kansas.

But once a week during college, he would treat himself to a good meal he didn't have to prepare on his own. On that particular day, he received his meal and ate among a group of other young gentlemen. The eatery's atmosphere was supported by the group's boisterous voices as Marlin sat quietly among them.

Then something unexpected caught his eye. Tawny, chestnut hair and a soft smile.

Velma Ames sat down at a table across the restaurant with a friend much more outgoing than she was. When her friend went to join the table with the talkative gentlemen, Marlin left them to join Velma.

After introducing himself, he found out she had just been to her brother's high school graduation and happened to stop for a bite to eat at the restaurant he liked.

"We were both treating ourselves and it ended up a bigger treat than we expected,” Marlin Ames said.

His soft, gentle personality was a breath of fresh air for Velma, who immediately thought "how lucky could I be?"

Velma and Marlin quickly hit it off, enjoying each other's company about every other night for the next two years, before getting married in 1948.

A love story that began in Manhattan in 1946 has now endured for more than 75 years. Marlin, 99, and Velma, 94, are looking forward to celebrating their milestone with family and friends.

Moments frozen in time

Today, Marlin and Velma Ames live happily in a quaint apartment in the Eaglecrest Retirement Community in Salina. Their walls are a little more minimalist than they used to be, but a few important artifacts like family photos and artwork from their children still inhabit them.

A digital photo frame scrolling through family portraits sits on a side table between a recliner and a television stand Marlin Ames built some years ago. It used to have a glass top, but they removed it to fit a new TV. A grandfather clock Marlin rebuilt sits near the entryway, just beyond Velma's chair.

These days, they spend their time in community with other elders at Eaglecrest and spend as much time with family as they can.

"We have lived a good life, a very good life with three great kids," Velma Ames said.

Over the years, they had three children: Allen Ames, Marla Kuiper and Kendi Carlgren. Kuiper and Carlgren live in Salina while Allen Ames lives in Manhattan, Kansas.

The three of them shared memories of weekends away on the lake — boating trips that the family never wanted to end. They traveled a lot and made a point to have plenty of family time, Kuiper said.

“They showed us the reality of marriage, that you have great times together and you work through the hard times; that your devotion is something that you never forget, and sticking together trumps everything else.”

Their oldest child, Allen Ames, was heavily involved in sports growing up. He remembers his parents' devotion to attending his games and going to several Kansas State games as a family. They are all big fans of Kansas State football and women's basketball.

As an alumnus, Marlin Ames loves supporting Kansas State athletics. The family had women's basketball season tickets for 20 years.

"They were always so supportive in everything," Allen said of his parents. "They provided a really nice home for all three of us. We felt well cared for and loved."

Carlgren, the youngest of their children, remembers their quiet but obvious love. They weren't the most affectionate family, she said, but Marlin and Velma Ames lead a life of service toward one another, and to the community.

"Sometimes you don't always realize how fortunate you are, until you get older, for the things you have in life," Carlgren said. "Especially how fortunate you are for the family you grew up in."

Throughout the years, Marlin and Velma Ames knowingly and intentionally supported each other's interests.

Marlin was a handyman who loved to work on things even after a long day at work. Velma loved to sew and was an extraordinary bowler.

“We loved to dance, or I did mainly, I guess, and he was good to follow,” Velma Ames said. “I think he really enjoyed it, too.”

Living through turbulent times

Before Marlin Ames met his wife, he served in World War II from 1943 to 1946.

Clasping his hands together, he talked about serving during a turbulent time in history. From 1944 to 1946, he was stationed in in Italy working mostly in communications technology, repairing aircraft radios, telephones and radar.

"We worked out of this large warehouse-type building repairing airplane radios that had usually been shot at," Marlin Ames said. "So we did a lot of things with communications equipment."

After his service, he studied at Kansas State University and was later appointed postmaster in Long Island, Kansas, by former United States President Harry Truman (who also happens to be his favorite president).

Velma Ames was a telephone operator in Manhattan when the two met. After they married, they lived in Long Island, Kansas, for a while and later moved to Downs as they raised their family.

Marlin Ames had 36 years of government service, three with the military and 33 at the post offices in Long Island and Downs. Velma Ames worked at grocery stores and the state bank in Downs for several years. She always had a knack for customer service and a passion for helping people.

To this day, that is something Marlin Ames said he admires about his wife. He said her heart for service and helping others inspires him and motivates him.

And throughout the years, Velma Ames said she could not have asked for a more thoughtful husband.

"He always remembered anniversaries and birthdays," Velma Ames said. "He always went the extra mile for people and showed them he cared."

In 2004, Marlin Ames wrote a book for his grandchildren telling his life story and some family history. He didn't get to know his grandparents, so he wanted to make sure his seven grandchildren got the opportunity to know more about him.

The beginning of the first page reads “I grew up without ever knowing a grandpa, so I was not fortunate enough to have their love or to share my love for them as you have shared your love with me.”

In their younger years, Marlin and Velma Ames were active and enjoyed the outdoors. They traveled a lot, just the two of them and later, too, as a family.

Some of their favorite memories of travel include a trip to Nova Scotia, weekend getaways to Colorado, and 14 winters spent in a trailer down in Texas.

"We really loved that," Velma Ames said with a smile.

As they shared memories of their travels, of a hand-crafted boat, an old trailer and the views from cruise ships, Velma and Marlin started to think about all the things they were thankful for.

They thought back to what made this story work — to what committing to pursuing one another each day meant for generations to come.

Love is patient, love is kind

If Velma and Marlin Ames were to give one piece of advice to married couples today, it would be patience and communication.

"Patience is important, and it's best when you communicate with one another," Velma Ames said. "And we did."

Marlin and Velma Ames will be celebrating their milestone 75th anniversary with family and friends March 5 this year. It's something they didn't quite imagine all those years ago when they had both just stopped for a bite to eat.

Marlin may not remember the name of that restaurant in Manhattan, and he doubts it would still be standing today.

"A lot has changed, the world, everything," Marlin Ames said, looking just beyond Velma's eyes, past the old grandfather clock he rebuilt some years ago, and out their window into the dusk.

But that old restaurant, whether standing or not, had an important part to play in their story. Generations of life and love have endured that changing world, and they remain thankful for the fruits of a humble beginning.

Marlin Ames' eyes returned to the room, to his hands, then to Velma. She returned his gaze and smiled.

Kendrick Calfee has been a reporter with the Salina Journal since 2022, primarily covering county government and education. You can reach him at kcalfee@gannett.com or on Twitter @calfee_kc.

This article originally appeared on Salina Journal: Seventy-five years of love, marriage, memories