Lil Xan experienced some setbacks when he decided to quit drugs recently.
Nearly one year after deciding to get sober in the wake of Mac Miller‘s death, the rapper, 23, opened up to TMZ about his recent retreat from the spotlight and admitted that it came as a result of his hospitalization for a relapse.
Lil Xan, whose real name is Diego Leanos, said that his journey to staying clean was far from easy, sharing that because he quit drugs again so suddenly, his body starting having seizures from the withdrawal.
“Back when everybody was like, ‘Diego’s M.I.A., where’s Diego at’ and stuff, I was in the hospital cause I had stopped taking drugs cold turkey,” he explained to the outlet. “Cause I didn’t want to be on drugs no more, but the withdrawals actually gave me seizures.”
The rapper called the experience a “wake-up call” and admitted that “I wanted to stop drugs completely but I did it the wrong way.”
“They said it was from going cold turkey off of Xanax… I just went cold turkey and I had a couple of seizures. And I’ve tried to bulls– and say I was taking stuff, but I just wasn’t ready until right now to let the world know I’m completely sober now,” he continued, adding that the accidental overdose deaths of Miller and rapper Lil Peep “really got me off that stuff.”
“I’ve never felt better and clear-headed,” he added to the outlet.
Last year, Lil Xan opened up in a since-deleted Instagram post that he was planning to enter a rehab facility to address his drug addiction.
“I just dropped out of SoundCloud Uni to go to rehab, I leave in like five days And I couldn’t be happier with this choice. I love you guys for being so supportive and can’t wait to get back clean headed ready to finish my album,” Lil Xan said, according to Billboard.
Speaking with TMZ shortly after making the decision, Lil Xan explained that Miller’s tragic death ultimately pushed him to seek professional treatment. The 26-year-old rapper died of an accidental overdose of fentanyl, cocaine, and alcohol on Sept. 7, 2018. His death was ruled as an accident due to mixed drug toxicity.
“Mac Miller hit too close to home,” he told the outlet. “I know we both struggle with the same problems and stuff, and I just feel like it’s time to get better.”
He went on to explain that he was heavily using painkiller hydrocodone, though his drug usage wasn’t nearly as bad as it’s been in the past.
“Basically, a lot of opioids,” he revealed in the interview. “I’ve been way worse in the past. I’ve been 10 times worse than what I am now. I want to do rehab so I can get over this last little hump, so I can finally be back to Diego.”
Two weeks later, the rapper announced on Twitter that he was headed home and clean.
“Out And Sober,” he tweeted, along with a broken heart emoji and an emoji of praying hands.
Lil Xan also updated his Instagram bio at the time, writing: “IM BACK ! 💔 STAY SAFE BE SAFE ! 💔 SOBER 🙏”
Following his rehab stint, Lil Xan threw himself into music and was working on his tribute album to Miller, titled Be Safe — the last words the rapper told Lil Xan before his death, according to Billboard.
The album was expected to release in February 2019 but was postponed due to technical issues. It is unclear when Lil Xan plans to release the album.
Most recently, the rapper has been working on a project called “WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS,” which he teased in his Instagram bio was “coming soon.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.