Little wonder why this company is flush with success | Sam Venable
CROSSVILLE — I’m in a seated position, thinking great thoughts about a business that specializes in “th’business” — of Numbers One and Two.
(Small, but important, detail to avoid TMI: Despite being seated, I am not engaged in “th’business.” I’m merely changing clothes. Thus, you can breathe a sigh of relief — in more ways than one.)
All of which explains why I’m inside one of the enclosed toilet “booths,” for lack of a better word, at Buc-ee’s on the Genesis Road exit of Interstate 40.
I drove here to experience for myself why people are agog over this gargantuan filling station, grocery store, clothing boutique, home décor emporium, snack bar, candy kitchen, sporting goods outlet, barbecue joint and public potty nonpareil. Since Tennessee’s newest Buc-ee’s is set to open sometime this summer at Exit 407 of I-40 (aka the Atlanta of East Tennessee) I wanted a sneak peek.
It’s tempting to describe Buc-ee’s as Cracker Barrel on steroids. Wrong. That’s because Buc-ee’s has no dining facilities whatsoever. Seriously. No tables. No chairs. Nothing for the tush. Except, of course, seating opportunities galore for patrons engaged in “th’business.”
Every crumb of food purchased here — and based on my tour, Buc-ee’s sells more grub in 30 minutes than a Cracker Barrel equidistant from Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian churches can serve all Sunday afternoon — must be consumed afoot, or else in the comfort of your vehicle on the Great Asphalt Plains of the parking lot.
Surely there’s a reason for this anomaly. Maybe Buc-ee’s doesn’t want to mess with the regulations that come with seated dining. Or maybe it’s just another Buc-ee’s quirk.
Oh, and while Cracker Barrel and Buc-ee’s both offer restrooms, Buc-ee’s takes this feature to the stratosphere. It’s part of the advertising campaign: “No potty like a Buc-ee’s potty.” There are awards for proof.
In 2012, the service industry Cintas deemed Buc-ee’s porcelain “cleanest in America.” In 2018 and 2019, the tech company GasBuddy gave Buc-ee’s its bathroom blue ribbon.
The marketing genius of Buc-ee’s is everywhere: from a roaming Buc-ee beaver that poses for photos with customers of all ages, to the Buc-ee’s label on everything from chips to books to swimwear to deer feeders.
That’s why I was stunned there was no patch, plaque, pocketknife, belt, T-shirt, bumper sticker, coffee cup or koozie emblazoned with a phrase I hereby copyright: “I dropped trou at Buc-ee’s.”
If Buc-ee’s execs run with my idea, I demand a cut. We can sign the necessary papers in the corporate boardroom, bathroom or barbecue aisle. Just show me those Buc-ee’s bucks, baby.
Sam Venable’s column appears every Sunday. Contact him at sam.venable@outlook.com.
This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Sam Venable: Little wonder why this company is flush with success
