Local pastor shares fatherhood insights

Jun. 18—PLATTSBURGH — First Assembly of God Pastor Jim Miller, 53, has 20 solid years of fatherhood behind him.

Life changing is what he calls the birth of his first child.

"I tell people your life changes overnight," he said.

"That's my favorite thing to tell new moms and dads. Your life is going to change overnight because you realize, before you're really only responsible for yourself, now you're responsible for another life. All your decisions, everything you do, is affecting that child.

FULL HOUSE

He and his wife, Jennifer, are the parents of Jason, 20, Katrina, 17, Anthony, 15, Vincent, 10, and Kailyn, 8.

Jim and Jennifer met at the First Assembly of God in Plattsburgh and started dating.

"We talked about kids, even before marriage," he said.

"I was okay with two. That's what I thought, we would have two kids like everybody else. You got your house and two kids, you're good to go. We didn't really set a number number. I was hoping for two. She was hoping for more. So after we had number four, we had one girl and three boys, she thought we needed a girl to go with the other girl. Not that you can make that happen, but we were blessed with another little girl."

Jim can testify, fatherhood didn't get easier with each child.

"Every child is so different," he said.

"Their personalities are different. Everything about them is different. Even from pregnancy, it's different for every child. So I would say, from pregnancy all the way through to now teenagers, each one of them is very different. When you think you've got it figured out, the next one hits teenage years."

'GREAT TEMPLATE'

Jim's parents are Raymond and Linda Miller, who live locally.

"I had a great father," he said.

"He's 80. There's three of us. I have two sisters, Becky and Amy. I'm in the middle, so I have the middle-child syndrome.

"My dad, we were top priority for him. The three of us came first before anything. Him and Mom would go without to make sure us kids had what we needed."

Raymond, a very hard worker, did a little bit of everything, but mostly maintenance jobs and carpentry.

"This summer, they will be married 59 years," Jim said.

"I had a great template. I tell people if you want to have successful marriage, model it after somebody that's been married more than 50 years. Don't model it after somebody that's been married 10. Model it after someone whose been married 25 (years) and up."

Jim wants his kids to know their value.

"The big thing today is our children's identities are being challenged everyday," he said.

"It's what they're taught in school, what they're seeing on TV or through entertainment, and what they're hearing through social media. and so, I think it's so important that they know they are the highest priority of my life, to know they are loved and valued above anything else. That's our world today."

TIME TOGETHER

On Father's Day, he just wants to spend time with his wife and their children.

"Whether we are sitting around the campfire or just spending time some way, some how, you know, whatever we decide to do, I want to be together," he said.

"I tell mine, you don't need to buy me anything. I got what I need. Just let's have time together. To me, that's the best gift you can do. and they're children, they don't have money. I have to buy my own gift."

Jim shared this note: "If we want to know how our children will be, we just need to look in the mirror."

"Because children are mirrors of our lives," he said.

Babies don't come with operating manuals, so his advice to first-time fathers:

"My biggest thing is just make them your priority," he said.

"That's like the best advice someone could have ever given me. Make them the top priority in your life. I couldn't do it without my wife. I could not do this alone. There's no way, no how. Kudos to single parents because single parenting is tough. Regular parenting is tough. But doing it on your own is even harder. I can't even imagine."

BIBLE VERSES

From a biblical standpoint, Jim shared these two passages:

Proverbs 27 — "The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them."

Proverbs 14:26 — "Those who fear the Lord are secure; He will be a refuge for their children."

"These are great Father's Day verses," he said.

"One other thought is I think out of all this, a strong, solid home builds strong, solid children. If you think about it, if your life's a wreck, then probably you're going to have children that are wrecked.

"So we have the best example, God the Father. We have Him to look at, you know, who gave his Son for us, that we could have eternity with Him in heaven. That's the best gift of all."

Email: rcaudell@pressrepublican.com

Twitter@RobinCaudell