Local view: Inspiring story of being born again to a drug-free life
Last Sunday, Gerry and I heard a sermon about being born again. Of course, it was about accepting Jesus as our Savior and the hope of salvation it brings.
The sermon made me think about other circumstances when people were born again, a rebirth when they changed their lives for a better way of living, one that is more healthy and holds hope for a more promising future. Our friend Cameron "Cam" Holt came to mind.
Cam, age 29, is a recovering drug and alcohol addict. His story opened my mind to the very difficult and stressful lives of so many who are in the same situation he faced. The life of an addict is a miserable one, both mentally and physically, and the path to recovery is unbelievably challenging. I was emotionally exhausted after listening to Cam tell his story.
Drug experimentation started in middle school
"Some of my friends were into it." That's what Cam said about his social environment when he was 12 years old, such a vulnerable young age. So he joined in. "I started experimenting with alcohol and marijuana, and when I got to high school, I took off with it. It was a way to fit in."
At age 14, he started experimenting with everything – benzodiazepines, psychedelic drugs including mushrooms, LSD, and MDMA along with continued use of alcohol. He described his experience: "I loved it. I liked it better than anything else. It was exciting, new. It made me feel confident, social, relaxed." Getting high was foremost in his mind, and his school achievement held no importance.
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That pattern was constant throughout high school. He had good supportive parents, and no alcohol at home. His parents knew something was wrong in Cam's life. They suspected marijuana, but had no idea of the extent of his usage. He was doing poorly in school so his parents grounded him from going out on weekends, but he got stuff from kids at school and his usage increased.
At 16, he tried cocaine and became obsessed with it. With cocaine, he could drink more before passing out. Two bad episodes happened after drinking when he was 17 – a car accident that led to his arrest and a one-year suspension of his driver's license, and alcohol poisoning while at a school dance which he luckily survived after a night of monitoring in the hospital.
Parents tried to intervene
He received counseling and his parents even sent him to an Outward Bound camp for three weeks. Cam said, "I was mentally obsessed with alcohol and drugs, and couldn't stop thinking about it while I was at camp and returned to using as soon as the program ended. Forcing a user to stop doesn't work."
His money ran out and he started to pawn his belongings, sports equipment, and things he could steal from home to sustain his habit. Finding ways to support his addiction became his prime focus. The venture with alcohol and drugs that was so much fun at the beginning was becoming not so much fun. He was becoming increasingly dependent and beginning to feel bad about it and the negative effects it was having on his life. Cam said, "The more drugs and alcohol I did, the worse I felt about myself. It had a mental effect on me. The only time I felt good was when I was using."
At 18, he started college, something he was not ready for. He was snorting a lot of cocaine and drinking and didn't attend classes very often. He felt depressed; he only felt good when using.
He got a job to make money to cover his drug expense, and that cost escalated when he met a dealer who sold oxycodone. He said, "That made me feel better than anything else, but was more expensive and more addictive. I needed those pills every day, three times a day if possible. I felt terrible without them, I had flu-like symptoms. Life was unmanageable."
He said, "I became very sneaky. I lied and became good at hiding what I was doing." He was failing his classes at college and was put on probation. His parents, still not knowing the seriousness of his addiction, convinced him to go to a 30-day rehab program for alcohol. "The program didn't work because I didn't want to stop." Again, he was being forced, it was not his own idea, so it was doomed from the start. Cam kept emphasizing how recovery has to come from within.
"Next I used heroin. It was cheaper than the pills. I started by snorting it and then injecting, which was more powerful. It was the ultimate," he said. But it led to more problems. He couldn't sleep without it. He felt terribly ill, had vomiting, diarrhea, cold sweats, restless legs, depression, and he was losing weight because he didn't eat well. An injection gave him immediate relief. Cam said, "Everything in my life revolved around getting the drug. Drinking was the next best thing if I was out of heroin."
Recovery has to come from within
He was 22 when his mother found a syringe in his pocket and a receipt from a pawn shop. "She confronted me and I admitted what I was doing." He finally faced it and thought about all the worry he had given his parents, and how he slacked off and didn't finish college, and what a mess his life had become.
He went to another 30-day program that included daily AA meetings, which he said is a great program. He attended AA meetings daily for the next two years, sometimes several meetings a day, and tapered off attending when he felt he was in a safe place with his addiction. He said, "It wasn't easy. Stopping drugs and alcohol felt like losing your best friend in the world. My emotions were all over the place. The first month of sobriety were the worst, and then there were other instances during the first year that were hard, but I knew what I had to do to get better and was determined to do it. AA taught me that I was in charge of what I choose to do with my life; I am in charge of my behavior, there's no one else to blame. I believe in the AA program. It provides great support and works for people who follow it."
Clean and sober for seven years
Cam has not taken drugs or had a drink since he was 22, seven years ago. I asked him if it bothered him, and he said, "It doesn't bother me at all. I try to avoid situations where there's drinking but if it's there, I have seltzer water. I know what I have to do. It was very important for me to find hobbies and interests to fill my days, and I like my work."
Cam has a full life today. He doesn't regret his years of addiction. Like others who have tough periods in life, have faced them, and overcome them, he feels he has grown from the experience to become a stronger and happier person, and is more appreciative of people and life. Today he is known by friends for his outreach and caring for others; he has a nice girlfriend, and is a partner in a construction company.
He truly had a rebirth. It took courage, determination, faith, and all the while keeping focused on his very important goal to recover. It's an accomplishment to be very proud of, and he willingly shares his story in hopes it will benefit others.
Last week's sermon led me to think about the hope and promise that can be possible in a variety of ways when we are born again and I thank Cam for his sharing.
Carole Gariepy is a Phillipston resident and author of “Dragging Gerry around the World” and “Why Go There?”
This article originally appeared on Gardner News: Drug and alcohol addiction recovery helped by Alcoholics Anonymous
