Looking Out: Distractions detract from pleasant evening out

Last evening my beloved wife, Marsha, and I dined at a nice restaurant with her sisters Barb and Peg and Peg’s husband, Phil. It was an in-law festival. We always enjoy these rare outings, filled with laughter and friendship.

The service at the restaurant was good. The place was attractive. The food was terrific.

There were two things that marred the event for me, both my fault.

At a neighboring table there was a group of six young women. They were nicely dressed from what I could see and not misbehaving in any way.

The problem was that one of them was doing 90% of the talking. She was aimed right at our table. We couldn’t hear WHAT she was saying over the general din of other conversations and clinking tableware. We could only hear her voice, which was a piercing impersonation of Minnie Mouse.

During our entire dining experience, her squeaky voice penetrated our efforts at conversation.

“I’m going to go over there and tell her she is monopolizing the conversation and that she sounds like Minnie Mouse,” I said during the briefest of lulls in her gabfest. “I’ll ask her to speak more softly and more like James Earl Jones. I’ll suggest that she let the other young women get in some edgewise words.”

My dinner companions were aghast at the idea that I’d do such a rash thing.

“It isn’t her fault that she has the most annoying voice of all humankind,” they said.

Pitching my voice as high as I could, I said, “I was just kidding.”

I really was just kidding. To prove it, I let loose with a muted Porky Pig, “That’s all, folks.”

Minnie’s ears perked up at that, I’ll bet.

Eventually, we all became numb to the insult-to-the-ears of the Minnie Mouse voice and enjoyed our dinner. Except for me.

You see, I have a “thing” about stupid shoes. When I see someone wearing stupid shoes, my mind fills with scenes of horrible falls, twisted ankles, future foot and back problems, and failed IQ tests.

At another nearby table in the restaurant there was a guy wearing dollar store flip-flops.

I’m not offended at all by the impropriety of wearing a pair of worn-out $3 shoes to a nice restaurant. No. I was bothered by the very existence of the stupid shoes. They are hard to walk in, provide no support at all for arches and ankles, and heaven help the wearer when he has to sprint across the street to avoid getting hit by a cement truck.

It was very difficult for me to enjoy my evening while looking at those stupid shoes. I came up with a solution. I stopped looking at them. I shifted my eyes to the feet of the woman sitting with Captain FlipFlop.

She was wearing pure white shoes that looked expensive. They were with one exception attractive shiny leather sandals with long white straps laced around her ankle and lower leg, crawling halfway up to her knee. Those straps would clearly hold her shoes on her feet as she sprinted across the highway to avoid being smacked by a cement truck.

It was the heels and soles that ruined the picture. The soles were nearly 3 inches thick. The heels were as big around as a rolling pin and 6 inches long. They may have been handy to keep feet dry in mud or snow, but they were stupid shoes.

It was my own poor attitude about Minnie’s voice and some stupid shoes that detracted from my evening. Next time, I’ll take a chair facing the wall and wear ear plugs.

Jim Whitehouse lives in Albion.

This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Jim Whitehouse: Distractions detract from pleasant evening out