The Loop: The Nipsey Russell 2023 Baseball Preview
MINNESOTA TWINS
“Short Sale”
There’s no doubt ‘bout Correa
Exceptional player
Yet bidders were hedging their bets
So thanks to X-rays
Of his ankle, he stays
After signing with Giants and Mets
HOUSTON ASTROS
“Never Forget”
The franchise’s second championship
Was a wonderful gift for their fans
In a striking new sample of sportsmanship
They won without banging on cans
MILWAUKEE BREWERS
“Christian Revival?”
The Brew Crew is counting on Yelich
To stop them from crying in beers
We’re not betting he’s able to switch
From lightweight he’s been past few years
NEW YORK METS
“Diaz and Confused”
Queens all awash with glee
‘Til closer blew out knee
A borough overflowing with grief
But they’re owned by that Cohen
So we’re confident knowin’
He’ll pay 100 mill for relief
LOS ANGELES ANGELS
“The Bystanders of October”
There’s sadness about
For Ohtani and Trout
Their weak supporting cast is the reason
Despite personal glory
The ending’s still gory
Viewing on their TV the postseason
CHICAGO WHITE SOX
“Sleep Success”
The Chisox let competence lapse
Saw delusions of grandeur collapse
Expect them more chipper
Since they’ve got new skipper
Who doesn’t enjoy mid-game naps
NEW YORK YANKEES
“Not All Rise”
While Judge surpassed Maris
The Bombers embarrassed
Another fall short of the crown
Until Stanton aims
To not miss half the games
The Steinbrenner juggernaut’s down
LOS ANGELES DODGERS
“Stuck in the Ravine”
The Dodgers are steady
With Mookie and Freddy
Yet, alas, there are flies in the ointment
With so many stars fled
We see more playoff dread
Come October, the same disappointment
DETROIT TIGERS
“Candid Cabrera”
The Tigers’ outlook isn’t sunny
Since owner prefers to be thrifty
Their only dude making big money
Is dangerously close to age 50
ATLANTA BRAVES
“The Ronald”
While Acuna has fleetness and muscle
The critics are starting to rustle
Is it a bridge too far
To ask the Braves’ megastar
If he would remember to hustle?
OAKLAND ATHLETICS
“Wander Nevada”
Never been this down
In old Oak Town
Another long, last-place trip
They won’t end their slump
‘Til they exit their dump
And move a few blocks from The Strip
SAN DIEGO PADRES
“Junior Bereavement”
There once was a dude named Tatis
Who had scouts exclaim “HE CAN’T MEESE!”
T’was in armor, one chink
Reluctance to think
Which might cause his future to stink
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
“Harper Valley DOA”
All Vegas sharps think at least twice
‘Fore putting their money on Bryce
Cause without him, those Phils
Will give fans more thrills
Until doomed by same old pitching ills
ST. LOUIS CARDINALS
“Seniors’ Moment”
So Pujols, Molina retired
The Redbirds acutely aware
Their services weren’t required
Since reaching age for Medicare
CHICAGO CUBS
“What’s in a Name”
They’re short on big bats on the North Side
There’s limits to hopes that can be
When the team’s new millionaire slugger’s
A shortstop whose first name’s Dansby
TEXAS RANGERS
“A Farewell to Arm?”
To Jacob deGrom, all their gold
A roster improvement, quite bold
Spending spree goes to Hell
Once he lands on DL
A record for damaged goods sold
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
“Capital Punishment”
In ‘19 the Nats were the victor
All D.C. erupting in cheers
But based on the team’s current roster
Next title in 2,000 years
TORONTO BLUE JAYS
“The Future is Now”
The Jays went from titan to joke
Thanks to seven-run wild-card choke
But with young stars like Vlad
Toronto ain’t half-bad
Their World Series drought will be broke
Playoff predictions
National League East:
1. Braves 2. Mets 3. Phillies 4. Marlins 5. Nationals
National League Central:
1. Cardinals 2. Brewers 3. Cubs 4. Reds 5. Pirates
National League West:
1. Padres 2. Dodgers 3. Giants 4. Diamondbacks 5. Rockies
National League wild cards:
Phillies over Cardinals; Mets over Dodgers
National League Division Series:
Braves over Phillies; Padres over Mets
National League Championship Series:
Braves over Padres
American League East:
1. Blue Jays 2. Yankees 3. Orioles 4. Rays 5. Red Sox
American League Central:
1. Twins 2. Guardians 3. White Sox 4. Tigers 5. Royals
American League West:
1. Astros 2. Mariners 3. Rangers 4. Angels 5. Athletics
American League wild cards:
Mariners over Twins; Orioles over Yankees
American League Division Series:
Blue Jays over Orioles; Astros over Mariners
American League Championship Series:
Blue Jays over Astros
2023 World Series
Blue Jays over Braves
You can hear Kevin Cusick on Wednesdays on Bob Sansevere’s “BS Show” podcast on iTunes. You can follow Kevin on Twitter — @theloopnow. He can be reached at kcusick@pioneerpress.com
