Love is in the air: On Valentine's Day, sweethearts tell their stories of romance

Feb. 14—Although a few local long-married couples and one that just tied the knot aren't planning elaborate festivities today for Valentine's Day, they always carry in their hearts its message that love can conquer anything in the world.

For 81-year-old Gaetano "Guy" Grande of Manchester, Valentine's Day means one thing — the day his wife, Joan, was born. Every year on her birthday, it's as though he's the one receiving a present, he says. And he's felt that way ever since laying eyes on her when they met in junior high school 68 years ago.

"It was like a light going off," Guy says about that long ago day in Stamford where the sweethearts were born and lived until they moved to Manchester six years ago.

"I knew she was the person I wanted to be with right from the beginning," he says.

Joan, however, was not so sure about him at the time.

"We went out but I wasn't really attracted to him," she says with a laugh. "We were off and on and then started to date more in high school."

Their love grew

Joan, who turns 82 today, went to the University of Connecticut for a nursing degree where she vividly remembers Guy writing her poems at midnight and giving her little presents.

His love grew on her until she felt the same way about him. They married in Stamford on June 2, 1962.

Joan worked as a nurse while Guy was an artist, a picture framer, and taught pottery. They raised three children and now have seven grandchildren. The couple will be with all of them on Valentine's Day evening for dinner at their house.

Joan is retired now and Guy has been painting since the pandemic began. He and his wife go to the Manchester Senior Center almost every day where he has been creating wall decorations and building furniture.

There are always compromises in a marriage, Joan says, but for her they have been small. She's not wildly enthusiastic about Guy's taste in furniture but he's the artist so she "gives in."

And he often reminds her of when he wants to get back home when they're about to go out, whereas Joan likes to get to a place with him before hearing when she'll be leaving.

But their love has remained strong for nearly 60 years. The key to their successful marriage, Guy firmly believes, is that they respect each other's differences and opinions.

"You have to pick your battles," Joan says. "We don't always agree."

Guy says he never thought they would "be in tune" with each other at all times.

"I wanted to be with someone different from me," he says. "We have had the determination that no matter what, we remain respectful and patient with each others' quirks."

A whirlwind romance

Anne Bremer, 60, of East Hartford, didn't even know her husband's middle name when she married him 36 years ago. She was in a bar, called the Love Boat, in Groton on Oct. 10, 1985, when Bruce Bremer walked in. He worked at the submarine base there, an electronics technician on temporary orders to go to school and learn about new equipment.

"I was reading a book, looked up, saw Bruce and thought 'I'm going to marry him.'" Anne says. "It was definitely love at first sight for me."

Bruce, 68, says he thought Anne was cute, engaging, and interesting.

"We talked and talked and talked," he says. "We closed the place down and then went to Dunkin' Donuts next door. At one point, I looked at my watch and saw I had duty in two hours."

Six weeks later, on Nov. 23, 1985, they married in a chapel at the base in Groton.

The back story is that Bruce was actually stationed in Hawaii and was headed back there after training in Groton, Anne says. They thought it would be hard to be in a long-distance relationship, so they decided to marry and join their lives together.

They soon discovered that after just six weeks of knowing each other, there was still a lot to learn. Bruce says when they got married he didn't know where Anne went to high school, her favorite color, or what she liked to eat.

"When she came to Hawaii, I rented a place for us on the beach," he says. "I was ready to stock the fridge but didn't know what to put in it."

Anne says it took a while before she learned how smart Bruce is and that he's extremely funny.

Today, Bruce works on a contract basis as an instructional systems designer. Anne, who is retired, worked for the Red Cross as a caseworker for military families. About three years ago, they moved to East Hartford , which is where Anne is originally from.

What they say has kept them deeply in love for more than three decades is their commitment to each other and the renewed spirituality they found together in a Bible study group.

"Marriage takes commitment and hard work," Bruce says. "I'm most successful when I listen to my wife."

They already celebrated Valentine's Day a bit early this year by taking a trip to Hawaii.

Love blossomed at the roller rink

Erin Lawrence-Shemanskis was 11 when she met her future husband, Rich Shemanskis, at a roller skating rink. It was in Manchester, where they have both lived their entire lives.

Rich, who was 14 at the time, was immediately taken with Erin.

"I fell in love with her that day," he says. "Even though we were young, I just loved being around her, getting to know her."

Erin says she didn't pay close attention to Rich that day because they both came with friends and were in a large group. Over time, however, they saw each other a lot at the roller rink and in the neighborhood, including when Rich had her family on his newspaper route.

Later on, when she was in high school, they started to date.

"At that age, things start to blossom," Erin says. "I think we always gravitated to each other and I saw what I wanted in him — how I wanted to be treated."

Today, Erin, 46, and Rich, 49, have spent more than half their lives together. They got married in Manchester on March 25, 1994, at ages 18 and 21, respectively. They have four children and both work for the same manufacturing company — Rich as an IT manager and Erin in order entry.

Although Erin didn't feel 18 was too young to marry — given that she was already working and feeling like an adult — a number of family members questioned her decision.

"I had uncles asking me if I was sure and knew what I was doing, almost as if they expected our marriage to fail," she says. "Our story is a win for young love."

There have certainly been challenges during almost 28 years of marriage, they both say. But they have always weathered any storm together as a unit.

"Laughter is key," Erin says. "When the sky is falling, you just have to sit back and laugh at it."

Communication is hugely important, Rich says. "We let the storms pass and move on. We continue to think positively and always put our relationship first."

They don't usually have big celebrations on Valentine's Day and will likely have dinner at home tonight but will plan to do something festive for their anniversary next month.

A couple who couldn't wait

At Windsor Locks Town Hall on Friday — three days before Valentine's Day — Matthew Lee , 28, and Kelsey Bertelsen, 29, were married at 10 a.m. by Town Clerk Chris Latournes.

"The whole office was so wonderfully sweet, kind, and it really was the nicest experience we could have asked for," Matthew said after the ceremony.

The couple had gotten engaged on Sept 4, 2020, the day before their second anniversary of meeting. It was the middle of the pandemic so they put off a large wedding with friends and family in the Midwest, where they're both from, until the fall of 2023.

Recently, however, Matthew and Kelsey ultimately decided there was no reason to wait so long. They're still going ahead with the ceremony and reception they've planned for next year, but wanted a civil wedding — with just the two of them — now.

Their commitment was already sealed, both say, when they decided to move together two years ago from Des Moines, Iowa, to Windsor Locks when Kelsey was hired as a resident OB-GYN physician at Bay State Medical Center in Springfield.

They met in 2018 when Kelsey was in Iowa to attend medical school at the University of Des Moines and Matthew was working there for a union.

They first became acquainted online through the Bumble dating site. Both said they joined Bumble because they didn't think they'd meet anyone compatible in Iowa.

"I thought Kelsey was beautiful from the offset," Matthew says "And her bio said she liked traveling, dancing, reading — all common interests of mine."

Kelsey liked Matthew's photos and, in addition to their common interests, particularly liked his progressive politics.

They met in person on a date in August 2018 and have been together ever since.

Life in Windsor Locks has continued to be happy for them. Kelsey alternates shifts at the medical center and often works all night shifts. Matthew, who is a data analyst for a labor union, completes most of the household tasks.

They don't see each other except for dinner when she works the nightshift and look forward to every other weekend when she's off and they can be together.

The support they give each other and their communication is the key to their romance, they say.

"We both have stressful jobs and we're good at reading each other's moods, seeing when the other needs support," Kelsey says.

"The thing that worked for us early on was we didn't judge the commitment we had to our jobs," Matthew says "Everything has always been very smooth. We never add to each other's stress but, rather, take it away."

Kelsey is working on Valentine's Day night so the couple celebrated the holiday on Saturday.

For more coverage of Somers and Ellington, follow Susan Danseyar on Twitter: @susandanseyar, Facebook: Susan Danseyar, reporter.