Love, mercy, grace, strength and courage

Apr. 29—ALBANY — Love, mercy, grace, strength, and courage. That is what God has given me. Let me tell you why.

Last spring, I wrote an article entitled "Reflections of an upcoming summer." I talked about how great summer is and fun things that one could do. I had no idea that the summer of 2022 would be a milestone in my life.

On July 11, I received a cancer diagnosis from Dr. John S. Inman III. He had taken out two polyps and the pathology report revealed that they were malignant. Dr. Inman is a great doctor, and I could tell that he didn't want to have to tell me this. When I heard what he had to say, I was struck by fear and grief. I was the same age as my mother when she found out that she had cancer. She lived one month after finding out.

I got off the phone and told my husband, Connell. We talked, cried and prayed for hours. Our lives were about to take on a new dimension. I was about to take on the biggest battle of my life. Hope and a will to live would become greater than any fear. Faith and my belief in God would help me on this journey. With my family, friends and their prayers, I knew that I was not alone. People that I did not even know were praying for me.

Dr. Inman referred me to Dr. Brandon Seagle. And I am so fortunate that he did. My first appointment with Dr. Seagle lasted 2 1/2 hours. With my pen and notebook in hand, I asked him every question I could think of. He answered every one of them.

He told me that I had endometrial cancer with uterine carcinosarcoma cancer cells. These cells are the most aggressive cancer cells. Only 5% of women with endometrial cancer have these cells. When he told me that I thought, "Wow, why did I have to be in this 5%?"

I sat there listening to the diagnosis, treatments, and statistics and knew that I would need to be strong to endure all that was ahead of me. He explained that I would need surgery, then six cycles of chemotherapy, and then radiation. He thought that I might have Stage 3 cancer with carcinosarcoma cells, but he would not know for sure until the pathology was back from the surgery.

I am so glad that Dr. Inman referred me to Dr. Seagle. He took a lot of time with me and was very patient and thorough. He would perform the surgery and would be the "quarterback" of my medical team. He became my "hero doctor." He referred me to Dr. Chirag R. Jani for chemotherapy and Dr. William J. McAfee for radiation.

After my first meeting with Dr. Seagle, we stopped by my son, Levi's, house to let him know how the appointment went. He sat there quietly listening to every word I said. He wanted to know how I felt. I told him that, really, I didn't feel bad, but I was kind of tired. We walked out to our car, and we started hugging goodbye. He held onto me with everything that he had, and we both cried. I told him that everything was going to be alright. He asked me what I was going to do. I told him, "I'm going to live!" We then saw a baby deer. To me, it was a sign of the assurance of God's love.

A couple of days after Dr. Seagle's first appointment, I wrote down my thoughts. It helped me to put my feelings into words and to be able to have the courage to deal with what would be ahead. I wrote:

"I find myself in uncharted waters, but I believe in the Power of God. He is MAGNIFICENT! I have seen many miracles in my lifetime. I know that He will give me His LOVE, GRACE, and MERCY. I know that He will be with all of our family. Help me, God, to put my TRUST in YOU. Thank you for YOUR FAITHFULNESS.

"LOVE ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE never fails. (1st Corinthians 13)

NO MATTER WHAT the OUTCOME of THIS DIAGNOSIS WILL BE, IT WILL BE ALRIGHT!"

These words would become my prayers, my hope, my mantra.

On Aug. 12, Dr. Seagle performed my surgery, and everything went well. A week later he called with some very good news. The pathology report was back, and there were no signs of carcinosarcoma cancer cells that had been in the previous polyps taken out. There were endometroid adenocarcinoma cancer cells, but these were not high-grade, aggressive cancer cells. This is the most common cancer and has the best cure rate. There was also no cancer found in the lymph nodes. So, instead of Stage 3 with carcinosarcoma, I had Stage 1B, Grade 3. I would still need treatments, but they would not have to be as aggressive, and they would help the cancer not to reoccur.

In my next step to healing, I would have six cycles of chemo with Dr. Jani. In the consultation appointment, he confirmed that I would need these treatments, and he said that I was blessed to have gone from Stage 3 to Stage 1 cancer. I was impressed with him and trusted him.

When I first entered the Phoebe Cancer Center, I thought that it was a beautiful facility. It has beautiful glass panels that are rainbow tinted when the light shines through them. It has a circular ceiling and a geometrical global glass panel on the wall going downstairs.

On one of the walls there are Trees of Hope that have the names of cancer survivors. Above them is a quote from Emily Dickinson that says, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without the words and never stops at all."

The registration ladies were very efficient and nice. Tonia always gave me encouraging words every time I saw her, and we became friends.

The nurses in the Cancer Center have been called "angels." I can see why. During my first chemo treatment, Meagan gave me an educational course on what to expect and good info to know. Rosa was my first chemo nurse and would be my nurse on my third chemo as well. Missy, Hannah, Tonya and Christina would give me the meds on the other treatments.

It would be a long day for each treatment. First there was bloodwork, then see Dr. Jani, pre-meds, and then the Taxol and Carboplatin chemotherapy drugs were administered. Each patient would have their individual pod to receive the treatments. The volunteer ladies would also come around to see if you needed anything.

Before each treatment, you would see a positive board that Shontrece creates daily with encouraging words like: "Fight, Pray, Hope, Love, Win. Cancer meet Jesus!" We became friends and saw her at each treatment. I also met someone so wonderful. Her name is Miss Donna, and she works as a custodian in the Cancer Center and Radiation departments. Anyone who meets her loves her, and all the nurses love to get a hug from her each day.

Chemotherapy can be tough on the body, but thankfully I didn't have some of the negative side effects. I never had mouth sores and I was never nauseated. The next day after treatments, I would receive a shot to help my bone marrow boost white blood cells to fight infection. I could not take pain meds, and for a few days, I had intense pain. During the pain, I told Connell that I didn't think I was going to make it.

Two weeks after my first treatment, my hair started coming out. I had prayed that it wouldn't, and it was very hard for me to accept it. I was mad at God, but He had the mercy and grace to love me through my feelings of losing my hair. I went from long curly hair to a buzz haircut that Levi gave me. I really went through a depression. Then it hit me, "I might not have hair, but I have Jesus!" Everyone said that my hair would grow back out and it is.

After my first treatment, Dr. Jani ordered a CT scan. It showed that I had diverticulitis. Dr. Jani was concerned that if I did have this, I might have to have colon surgery. He referred me to Dr. Troy Kimsey.

When I saw Dr. Kimsey, I left with a sense of hope and relief. I had feared that I might have to have surgery and that chemo would be delayed. He told me that because I didn't have the symptoms of diverticulitis, I probably didn't have it and would not need surgery. He would monitor me with follow up appointments and everything was always good.

Before my last chemo treatment, Connell and I both got COVID. I also had pneumonia. This delayed my last treatment for three weeks. This was discouraging, but we made it through. You know I love to find feathers, and believe it or not, I found 45 of them one day on a walk. These were a good sign that angels were near.

After a patient's last chemo treatment, they get to ring the bell in the Cancer Center. I was able to do that. I received an award certificate signed by the nurses. They had pompoms and all cheered me on. It was a big day for me.

I completed three radiation treatments with Dr. McAfee and his staff. They are all wonderful. To tell you the truth, I was more scared of the radiation than the chemo. Dr. McAfee and staff assured me that I could do it. And God was with me all the way. I was able to ring the bell once again.

There are many positive things that have come out of this experience. I made some new friends. I had the love and prayers from friends and family. I became closer to the Lord, and I witnessed first-hand the faithfulness of God. Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen." I could not see what would happen, but I got to live and become a warrior in spirit.

I cannot finish this article without talking about Connell during this time. He went with me to every appointment that I had. There were more than 40 appointments including surgery, two CT scans, six chemos, and three radiations. He would encourage me and made me feel like I was pretty, even though I didn't feel like I was. He prayed for me and has been by my side every step of the way. I knew that he would always be there for me.

In our home, we have a picture of a girl and boy looking at the ocean. Under them is written: "If God could not be found on this side of the sea, we would indeed journey across."

Well, we were on this journey together and we have made it across. With God's love, mercy, grace, strength and courage, we trod on. With Jesus shining his love divine and His light in us, we continue this journey of life. If you or anyone you know has cancer, be encouraged. With hope as your guide and courage as your strength, you can do it.