LPGA's Madelene Sagstrom shares story of sexual abuse: ‘the secret haunted me' | D'Angelo

BOCA RATON — Madelene Sagstrom knows why she did it. She knows why after more than 16 years of living with unimaginable emotional pain she decided to reveal to those closest to her that at the age of 7 she had been sexually abused by a male friend in her native Sweden.

And why a year ago she took that story globally on the LPGA's Drive On campaign, a platform for its members to share their stories.

"If I touch one life by telling my story, it will all be worth it," she wrote.

One year later, Sagstrom, who will be back at Boca Rio this week after winning the 2020 Gainbridge LPGA, knows her story has been shared and has impacted others.

Just as she intended.

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"I know it has helped because I have gotten feedback," she said two weeks ago while at Boca Rio. "People have reached out, which makes it more beautiful for me to know it is actually helping."

Sagstrom, 29, will be defending her lone LPGA Tour title as the event returns to South Florida beginning Thursday after being played in Orlando last year. Her decision to open up to her mentor and longtime friend, professional golfer Robert Karlsson, before talking to her parents, was first about healing ... learning not to "hate" herself and ending the cycle of acting like nothing happened before breaking down in tears when alone.

"I despised my body," she wrote when she made her story public. "I hurt myself mentally and physically. I didn't know what was wrong with me. That secret haunted me. It haunted me until I could no longer escape it. And the pain showed up in every aspect of my life - especially on the golf course."

Sagstrom was a rookie on the Symetra Tour, the LPGA's developmental tour, when she opened up to Karlsson while in Greenwood, S.C. She said the instant the words, "I was sexually abused as a child," came out, she felt like "a weight was lifted." She awoke the next morning thinking, "I've never felt so free my entire life."

That transformation carried over to her professional life and she started playing loose ... and free. And the results showed. She won three times on the Symetra Tour, was named the tour's Rookie of the Year and Player of the Year in 2016, and joined the LPGA Tour the next season.

Sagstrom's breakout year was 2020 when she won the Gainbridge and rose to No. 61 in the world. The former LSU standout and Orlando resident was named the Swedish golfer of the year.

But the five-month shutdown following that win at Gainbridge set her back. "I spent five months working on my game, I came back out and I played horrible," she said.

Going public with her story one year ago was another hurdle, saying it was "very scary."

"I knew that I would be labeled in a way," she said in her story. "If you googled my name, this story of childhood sexual abuse would appear. I'm so grateful for the LPGA and the care they displayed with my story. We had many moments where we were ready to shut it all down just because it was becoming too much."

Finally, she decided she wanted to be the voice for, "somebody who doesn't want to speak."

An advocate to help others

Madelene Sagstrom has, once again, rediscovered her game, overcoming not only the COVID shutdown but the emotions and weight of telling her story of sexual abuse.

A second-place finish in the Women's British Open in August, one shot behind Anna Nordqvist, has helped propel Sagstrom to No. 42 in the world rankings.

"Life experiences give you perspective," she said two weeks ago. "I've always put golf first. Golf has been my main priority in life. It made me realize that I'm more than a golfer. If I accepted both sides of myself and who I am I played even better."

Now golf only partly defines Sagstrom. She has followed the USA Gymnastics sex abuse scandal and admires the courage of those women who have told their stories, as much as those who admire her for telling her story.

"You can relate to it," she said. "The more advocates we get, especially sexual abuse and having that support system for people who have been abused, that's really what it's about. You can heal, you can become better people. You can be there for others going through the same things.

"People who do speak loudly about things, that's the intention of being an outlet for somebody else. It doesn't mean that people need to take it on a big stage. More the fact of just knowing that there's somebody out there."

This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Sexual abuse: LPGA' golfer shares her story, now helping other victims