Luann de Lesseps Makes Amends with RHONY Costars After Admitting Her Probation Weighed on Them

Luann de Lesseps Makes Amends with RHONY Costars After Admitting Her Probation Weighed on Them

Luann de Lesseps is starting fresh with her Real Housewives of New York City costars.

On Thursday’s episode of the hit Bravo show, the Countess apologized to Ramona Singer, Dorinda Medley, Sonja Morgan and Tinsley Mortimer — in front of new cast member Leah McSweeney — for the toll her now-completed probation had on them last season.

“This year has been the roughest thing that I’ve ever been though in my life,” said de Lesseps, while at a dinner with her costars in the Hamptons. “It’s like a volcano erupted and all the ashes came out. And I was so busy taking care of myself that I didn’t realize that the ashes also fell on you guys; you got hit with the ashes.”

“You didn’t know what to do, how to react. ‘Do I drink, do I not drink?’ And I didn’t realize how much it did weigh on you guys, too, because I was so busy trying to take care of myself,” de Lesseps added.

She asked them for forgiveness as they moving forward.

“As I’m going through this recovery and healing and renewal, I realize I wanted to make amends to you all and say how much I love you,” de Lesseps said. “It’s not been easy, it’s been a whole ride, and thank you for being there for me.”

The sentiment registered with the New York City Housewives, who’d been upset with how de Lesseps treated them during her rough patch.

“New and improved Lu,” Morgan said in a confessional. “Definitely something had to be said, otherwise it was like the elephant in the room, and I’m so glad she had the respect to that for us.”

Gary Gershoff/Getty Luann de Lesseps

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De Lesseps’ trouble will the law began when she was arrested in Palm Beach, Florida, in December 2017 on charges of battery, trespassing and disorderly intoxication.

Following her night in jail, de Lesseps made some changes. She voluntarily entered an alcohol treatment center, telling PEOPLE at the time that she “intended to turn this unfortunate incident into a positive life changing event.” Then, in July 2018, de Lesseps returned to rehab for a second time, which caused her to miss the RHONY season 10 reunion.

Not drinking wound up being a key part of de Lesseps’ plea deal, which she agreed to in August 2018. The one-year probation, in place of jail time, required de Lesseps to not possess or consume alcohol or illegal drugs, while also performing 50 hours of community service, attending two AA meetings per week and attending a Victim Impact Class organized by Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

All appeared to be going well until last April, when de Lesseps failed her alcohol test and later admitted to “drinking 2 glasses of mimosas after a [cabaret] performance she had in Chicago.” She came to a new probation deal with her judge that May, adding the promise of weekly call-in counseling sessions, monthly psychiatric sessions and an agreement that she’d keep a breathalyzer with her.

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Sophy Holland/Bravo The cast of the Real Housewives of New York City

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All terms of de Lesseps’ probation were completed in late August. The scene played out in front of the cameras on the premiere episode of RHONY‘s 12th season earlier this month.

“It’s been hell,” she said on the episode. “It’s finally over. I feel pretty damn good, I’ll tell you that. I would kiss the ground, but it’s cement.”

“It’s finally over. Probation is finished. This whole ordeal has been going on for almost two years now,” she told audiences. “what people don’t understand is I couldn’t be fully present because I always had this on my mind. And now all of a sudden it’s gone. It’s like somebody lifted a ton of bricks off of my head.”

“I hit the bottom so I could rise again,” she added.

That episode was also when Morgan confronted de Lesseps about her behavior last season.

“You started becoming a big star in the cabaret and you weren’t there for us, spending time with us,” Morgan said. “We made it about you. We were just saying to you, here’s our feelings. You were going M.I.A. and leaving us hanging and treating us like s—. You were treating us like fans!”

But de Lesseps didn’t agree. “You girls didn’t understand the pain I was going through,” she said.

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Heidi Gutman/Bravo Sonja Morgan and Luann de Lesseps

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She seems to have gotten the message now — though it remains to be seen how long that lasts.

In a preview for next week’s episode, de Lesspes apparently pens a nasty note to Singer, after being assigned to sleep in the basement in her longtime friend’s Hampton’s home.

“You proclaim you love me but I know that’s not true,” de Lesseps says, in the note Morgan reads. “Good night from the lower level.”

As for her drinking, in January, de Lesseps told PEOPLE exclusively that after months of sobriety, she has recently made the decision to allow herself a drink on occasion.

Coming to that conclusion was something that de Lesseps approached slowly and responsibly, she said, after much soul-searching.

“New Year’s has been a time of reflection,” she explained. “I’ve learned a great deal about myself, and I’m in a very good place and finally back in the drivers seat.”

“I’ve always said my journey is day by day,” she added. “I’m toasting to a happy new year ahead!”

The Real Housewives of New York City airs Thursdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.