I’m a midwife — here are the worst things to say to a woman in labor

Keeping quiet is a labor of love.

With sweat dripping, pain surging and a baby barreling through the birth canal, the last thing most women in labor want to hear are comments and critiques from their likely well-meaning, albeit carping mothers and mothers-in-law.

One seasoned midwife warns that mouthy grannies-in-waiting might be more irksome than awesome to have at your bedside during the pushing process.

“I’ve seen a lot of soon-to-be grandmas in the delivery room talking about their own experiences in childbirth, telling delivering moms what they should or shouldn’t do,” a labor and delivery specialist known digitally as Nurse Sydney, 25, from Canada, told The Post.

“Those unnecessary remarks can be really stressful for the woman in labor.”

And Sydney, who’s aided obstetricians and gynecologists in welcoming littles since 2020, issued a viral TikTok advisory about the pangs of dealing with overcritical kin.

“Shocking things grandmas said in the delivery room,” she penned in the closed-captions of her buzzy bulletin on the popular social media app, which beckoned a virtual viewership of over 88,000.

“‘We never had epidurals back in my day,’” wrote Sydney, repeating a jab she’s often overheard a few gray-haired critics hurl.

“‘You’re going to let them break your water? I broke naturally with you,’” continued the brunette in her trending re-enactment clip. “‘I wasn’t that loud when I was delivering you.’”

“‘It’s never going to look the same down there again…trust me, I know.’”

Sydney also noted that a few overbearing Omas have been guilty of forcing a new mommy to eat after she’s vomited during labor, arbitrarily shutting down talks of a C-section and insisting they be the first to hold the newborn seconds after its arrival.

Unsurprisingly, unsolicited wisdom-weary women flocked to the midwife’s comments section with their personal delivery room horror stories.

“Mom threw a fit and delayed me getting to [hospital]. Then she and hubby had an argument in delivery room,” revealed one woman.

“My [mother-in-law] was in the room when I gave birth to my oldest son…After a bad contraction she said, ‘It hurts doesn’t it. I told you it would,’” wrote another, punctuating her fury with several red-hot emojis.

“Facebook saw a pic of my daughter before I did. Mom snapped a pic while the nurses were working on her,” added an equally annoyed woman.

“This is why it [will just be] me and [my] hubby,” another stated.

The anti-grandma sentiments come after new mom Bri Knight went viral in July for banning her in-laws from even coming to the hospital when she gave birth to her son.

A separate women named Gabby, too, had tongues wagging on Reddit after she revealed that her mother-in-law tried breastfeeding her infant baby.

But not all Nanas are natural-born nags. In fact, some of the silvery sweethearts can be super supportive.

“My mom ROCKED in the delivery room, she was my support person and I couldn’t have done it without her,” praised a pleased new parent beneath nurse Sydney’s video post.

“My mom watched them break my water, held my leg while I pushed and cut the cord. One of the only times she was ever 100% supportive,” gushed another.

And the midwife tells The Post that grandma should absolutely feel welcomed in the delivery room, as long as she understands she’s there to serve.

“I’m not against these family members being present if the patient wants that,” she explained. “They should be asking what they can do to support the mom through labor — offering to give back rubs, to do their hair, giving them a hand to hold.”

“Being of service, rather than imposing their own experiences and opinions, can be so helpful.”