I’m obsessed about not quitting. But Biles, Osaka show us how to step back | Opinion

Over the years I’ve collected a fair amount of inspirational quotes, most of which I either send to my children or tack on the walls of my home office. Sometimes I unwittingly text the same passage more than once, eliciting question marks and eye-rolling emojis for my obsessive cheerleading. Lately I’ve realized that most of these messages of encouragement have to do with sticking it out.

Never give up.

Quitters don’t win, winners don’t quit.

And my favorite for its pithiness: Stay hungry. Stay humble.

I admire persistence, perseverance, grit, tenacity, determination — whatever you want to call it. It’s essential in life, regardless of what you do and why you do it. If you don’t push through the darkness, jump over the obstacles, race past the naysayers, chances are you’re never going to achieve what you want.

You gotta want it more than the next guy, I tell my sons until their eyes glaze over.

Persistence is a non-negotiable trait in a writer. Without it, she is likely to collapse in the face of rejection and, believe me, there is a ton of rejection. This is true for anyone pursuing a goal, but it’s particularly applicable to such fields as the arts and sports, where so much rides on internal validation.

I am the kind of person who will hang on, and on, and on, by the skin of her teeth until she reaches that finish line — and then pays for that depleting effort with colds, stomachaches and sleeplessness. I can get obsessive. I joke that I don’t finish a novel (or another piece of writing) as much as get it ripped from my cramped hands by deadline.

Persistence, though, has its downside, and throwing in the towel isn’t always about failure. Now I’ve lived long enough to understand that quitting something — a job, a relationship, a project — is not necessarily a sign of some personal shortcoming. It’s not a public admission of defeat. Sometimes it’s a smart recalibration and an act of courage.

This is a difficult concept for me to accept, my frame of reference so firmly anchored in the stay-with-it-at-all costs realm. Yet I’ve been thinking a lot about this since the gymnast Simone Biles returned to the mat and the tennis phenom Naomi Osaka announced she planned to hit the courts again next year. Both made the bold (and surprising) move to quit their respective sports two years ago, when they were at the top of their fields, young superstars who inspired others with their talent and their drive.

Osaka withdrew from the 2021 French Open after citing her struggles with depression. At the time, she ranked second in the world and was the highest-paid female athlete. Biles, the most decorated gymnast ever, withdrew from the Tokyo Olympics that same year, citing the “twisties” and a concern for her mental health. I thought them amazingly brave and precociously insightful.

Now, reading about how the two women have spent the past two years has made me realize that quitting is not just about surrendering but also about freedom. About turning the page and moving on as needed. In the end, deciding when to walk away from a long-held goal grants you permission to observe, to study, to breathe. To change your mind.

Could I walk away from all that money and adulation with the grace of these athletes? I don’t know, but at the very least these young superstars have inspired me to take one small step as it relates to my penchant for holding on too long and too tight.

With that in mind, I moved a laminated quotation to a spot where I can see it better. This way it will compete with my never-quit poster squad. It speaks a truth most of us learn the hard way:

If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.

Ana Veciana-Suarez writes about family and social issues. Email her at avecianasuarez@gmail.com or visit her website anavecianasuarez.com. Follow @AnaVeciana.