Mac Aljancic: Living in Northeast Ohio winters is fitting for Browns' fans
A few days ago, my beautiful bride of 27 years inexplicably decided to abandon the joy of January in Ohio to visit a best buddy living in Hawaii. While the angst of her absence will haunt my lonely soul throughout this week, her travels from the tundra to the tropics did provide me with some journalistic inspiration.
Winter here in Ohio is pretty much the environmental equivalent of rooting for the Browns. Advanced analytics precisely break down the Browns fan experience to 19% excitement, 9% nostalgia, and 72% misery. Mother Nature concocts about the same winter recipe around here. We experience the occasional thrill and beauty of a big snow storm (preceded by the frenzy of clearing out the grocery shelves). We get nostalgic about those wonderful white Christmases, or riding out big storms of the past (like the Blizzard of '78), or even watching a frigid Browns home game. But for the most part, winters here are mostly miserable. The air is cold, the wind is cold, the snow is cold, the car is cold and the floor is cold. The slush, the salt, the potholes, the clouds, the darkness, the ice scrapers, the dry hands, the chapped lips ….
Unfortunately, any long list of weather laments that I could write would be easily outnumbered by the gridiron grievances compiled by any Browns backer. While some have been immortalized (The Drive, The Fumble, Red Right 88, firing Paul Brown, Art Modell moving the team), Browns Nation has truly suffered a slow death by 1000 paper cuts. We can rattle off countless fourth-quarter failures due to blown leads, late-game interceptions and missed field goals. We have lived an endless winter of losing ― Cleveland has only four winning seasons since its last AFC title game appearance 33 years ago ― due to dreadful drafts, crappy coaching, and futile front-office leadership.
What, unfortunately, adds to our anguish is the extended beach vacation success of the Browns' three big rivals. For the last five decades, the Steelers have given their Terrible Towel-waving fans the equivalent of permanent residency in Florida. They have numerous Key West/Miami Beach tropical paradise visits: Eight Super Bowl appearances and six titles (Cleveland, in comparison, has just four playoff wins during that same span). They have treated their followers to a Disney World trip on almost a yearly basis: 32 playoff bids and 16 AFC Championship Game appearances.
Like the Florida shores are lined with countless beautiful beaches, the Steelers' rosters have been continually stuffed with stars, including 16 Hall of Fame players. Occasionally, Steeler Nation has had to put up with some showers and sticky humidity, which unfortunately would be good years for most Browns teams. Since 1972, Pittsburgh has had one 11-loss season and three 10-loss seasons. Since their 1999 rebirth, Cleveland has averaged 11 losses! With Big Ben Roethlisberger off to retirement, this year was finally supposed to be Pittsburgh’s downfall and it looked that way after a 2-6 start. But 16-year coach Mike Tomlin rallied his troops, rookie QB Kenny Pickett led some clutch late-game drives, they dominated Cleveland in the season finale (sacking Deshaun Watson seven times), and Pittsburgh just barely missed the playoffs.
Stability of the Ravens, Steelers and Bengals franchises make the Browns look like a soap opera
Then you have our former family in Baltimore, which has become a hot new tourist destination (think Destin or Cancun). Art Modell stole our Browns and made them into his Ravens after the 1995 season. In a bitter twist, the Ravens' first two draft picks that spring both became NFL Hall of Famers: Jonathan Ogden and Ray Lewis. Since then, the franchise has had 14 playoff appearances and two Super Bowl wins. They made the playoffs this year while relying on a backup QB the final five games of the season. When healthy, quarterback Lamar Jackson, the 2019 NFL MVP, is among the league’s elite. And Baltimore has had one head coach (John Harbaugh) since 2008. Cleveland has had 10.
Lastly, you have the Bengals currently living out the lyrics of a beautiful 1984 ballad from the Footloose soundtrack: “Almost paradise, we’re knocking on heaven’s door.” Today’s AFC Championship Game rematch with Kansas City gives Cincy fans a chance to reach consecutive Super Bowls. They also are blessed to have a 26-year-old quarterback who, along with Patrick Mahomes, is one of the two best in the league. With Joe Burrow as their field general along with ultra-talented targets like 22-year-old Ja’Marr Chase and 23-year-old Tee Higgins, "The Jungle" is likely to be very sunny and tropical for the next decade plus. And just a reminder: This is Cincinnati’s ninth playoff appearance since 2009.
Cleveland is going have to go through those three divisional powerhouses to win the AFC North in 2023. Can embattled quarterback Deshaun Watson shake off the rust and regain his 2018-20 Pro Bowl form? Can newly-hired defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz bring the spark and intensity here that helped his Philadelphia Eagles' defense capture the 2018 Super Bowl? Can head coach Kevin Stefanski pivot his squad back to its 2020 playoff form after two straight losing seasons? Those questions all have the potential for wonderful warm-climate conclusions. Let’s just hope that next winter, we’re not taking another chilly ride on the NFL head coach carousel.
This article originally appeared on The Times-Reporter: Mac Aljancic says Browns' fans are a hardy bunch
