Mad at an ex this Valentine’s? This company will turn their love letters into toilet paper
If you’re feeling a little cynical this Valentine’s Day, don’t worry: There are several companies offering opportunities to resolve your anger toward an ex while also benefitting the natural world.
Eco-friendly toilet paper company Who Gives A Crap recently announced the return of its Flush Your Ex campaign, which celebrates Valentine’s Day by turning old love letters into toilet paper.
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“Back by popular demand, we’re once again turning your ex’s empty promises into something useful this Valentine’s Day: 100% recycled toilet paper!” the website reads. “Because nothing says closure like knowing that someone, somewhere is putting those sweet nothings exactly where they belong.”
A TikTok posted by the company elaborates that this can include “any cursed paper reminders of your ex,” so first date receipts and marriage certificates are also fair game.
The company states that it isn’t interested in reading the letters, but that people are free to scribble out any identifying information on the letters before sending them in. Any letters received before Feb. 29 are guaranteed to become toilet paper, although consumers won’t be able to know exactly which roll it becomes.
Those within the United States can mail their unwanted love letters to Who Gives A Crap at the following address:
Second Home/Who Gives A Crap Inc
Attn: Flush Your Ex
1370 N. St Andrews Place
Los Angeles, CA 90028
Another way to get back at your ex without breaking any laws is to participate in San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me A Cockroach” program, which allows you to name a cockroach, veggie or rat that will then be fed to a zoo animal.
It’s baaaaack! #CryMeACockroach pic.twitter.com/MozFshchrT
— San Antonio Zoological Society 🦍 (@SanAntonioZoo) February 1, 2024
“Be part of the global sensation and ex-terminate your past and support a noble cause with the Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser,” the zoo’s website reads. “Symbolically name a roach, rat, or veggie after your ex or not-so-special someone and San Antonio Zoo will help squash your past, a true heartbreak healer, by feeding your selection to an animal resident.”
Naming a cockroach will set you back $10, while veggies cost $5 and rodents $25.
CNN reports there is an upgrade available: For the price of $150, the zoo will send your ex a personalized video message showing the cockroach, veggie or rat named after them as they are eaten by zoo animals.
The fundraiser benefits the zoo, feeds animals and provides a positive outlet for those looking to express their negative emotions toward an ex. Anyone who makes a donation will also receive a digital Valentine’s Day card.
If you’d prefer your revenge against an ex to benefit animals not destined to become dinner, a New Jersey animal shelter is offering a “Neuter Your Ex” special. For $50, Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center will name a feral cat after your ex and have it spayed or neutered.
“Because some things shouldn’t breed,” reads the special’s tagline.
The center runs a trap-neuter-return program for feral cat population control. Every person who donates will receive a picture of the feral cat named after their ex and can rest assured that the cat will be taken care of before being released back into its colony. There is also an option to notify someone if a donation has been made in their honor.
“Donated! The real guy deserves to be neutered, but a cat with his name will do,” one commenter said on the center’s Instagram page.
Whether you’ve recently gone through a breakup or are still steaming from wounds left by an old flame, these are just a few ways to channel your anger in a way that makes a positive impact. Happy Valentine’s Day!
