How Manalapan quarterback Chris Gray's Sept. 11 death helped send many students to college
MANALAPAN - A framed rendering of his jersey hangs below the scoreboard of Manalapan High School’s football stadium.
Chris Gray. No. 14.
Every fall, Braves players pass under it on Friday nights as they take the field. Every spring, a $1,000 scholarship is awarded in Gray’s name to a college-bound senior in the district.
Chris Gray played quarterback at Manalapan in the mid-1980s, and did the same at West Virginia University under legendary football coach Don Nehlen, before embarking on a career in finance. He was killed on Sept. 11, 2001, when terrorists flew a hijacked plane into the north tower of the World Trade Center, where he was working as a trader for Cantor Fitzgerald. The firm, with offices on the upper floors, lost 658 employees that morning.
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Chris was 32 years old and engaged.
“You always think about what might have been,” said his mother, Janet Gray.
What happened instead, in the tragedy’s aftermath, is a testament to Gray, his family and his communities. For two decades and counting, two memorial scholarships have perpetuated — one through the Freehold Regional High School District, the other through the West Virginia University Foundation.
“Having the scholarships is a real way to honor and remember his legacy,” younger brother Tim Gray said. “His name has been used to help others, which 22 years on, at this point, is how you want these things to work. People might not know who he is, but someone getting the scholarship might ask, ‘Who was this guy? What did he do?’”
Here’s more about that, and what’s been done in his memory.
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A desire to give back
Chris Gray stood 6-foot-4, weighed 185 pounds and had “a real cannon” of an arm, as the Asbury Park Press reported in 1987, when Gray played in the All-Shore Football Classic shortly after graduating from Manalapan. As a senior the previous fall he’d passed for 1,134 yards and eight touchdowns — strong numbers in an era when high school teams mostly ran the ball.
“His leadership and his positive attitude were outstanding,” recalled Lee Rubin, who played football and basketball with Gray, succeeded him as the Braves’ quarterback and later captained Penn State’s football team.
Gray accepted a late scholarship offer from West Virginia and worked his way up the powerhouse program’s depth chart. As a senior in 1991 he appeared in eight games, completing 37 of 69 passes for 400 yards and one touchdown. He lost a fumble at the goal line against Virginia Tech, and for years afterward regaled folks by reenacting the miscue with his typical good humor.
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Later, after entering the finance world, he expressed interest in launching a scholarship fund at his old college.
“Chris always said he wanted to pay West Virginia back for his education,” Janet Gray said.
Tim Bolling remembers those conversations well. Now a senior associate vice president for philanthropy with the West Virginia University Foundation, Bolling has taken pride in seeing the Chris Gray Memorial Scholarship flourish thanks to generous gifts from alumni, family and friends.
The award ranges from $8,500 to $9,000 per year and goes to a member of the football program. The 2022-23 recipient was Bryce Ford-Wheaton, a wide receiver who signed with the New York Giants as a free agent and was on the verge of making the team this preseason before landing on injured reserve with a knee injury.
“Working with the Gray family and seeing how they handled this horrific event and used it to create a wonderful legacy for Chris," Bolling said, "has been one of the most rewarding elements of my career in higher-ed fundraising."
Two years ago, on the 20th anniversary of 9/11, the Mountaineers paid tribute to Chris on the field just prior to kickoff of their home opener. Nehlen was there, and so were Tim Gray, his wife Anabelle and their kids Thomas (then 11 years old) and Charlotte (then 7).
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“It was extremely overwhelming, because I had my two kids on the field where Chris played — their uncle that they never knew,” Tim Gray said. “It gave them a real, tangible insight into what his life was like.”
To Bolling, this was a full-circle moment, the fulfillment of Chris’ wish.
“He viewed it as an obligation to give back,” Bolling said. “Even though he could not be a part of that (in life), he is a part of it, because the scholarship lives on.”
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In Manalapan, 'keeping his memory alive'
Back home, Chris’ parents launched the high school scholarship almost immediately after 9/11. For years Janet and Chris’ father, Jim Gray — a longtime Manalapan mayor who died in 2019 — took on leadership roles in 9/11 causes, including the building of the state memorial at Liberty State Park in Jersey City and the Monmouth County memorial in Atlantic Highlands.
They also were instrumental in the annual “Walk With Joe,” a 5K named for Joe Driscoll, a Manalapan resident who was part of the passenger revolt on Flight 93. The walk served as the main fundraiser for the high school scholarship; it transitioned to a golf outing this past summer.
That scholarship, which goes to a district senior who intends to pursue law or political science studies, is extra meaningful to Janet as a retired teacher.
“College is so expensive and getting worse,” she said. “A thousand dollars doesn’t go very far, but every little bit helps. I would like to see if we can make it a little more.”
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Lee Rubin travels widely as motivational speaker, but he still lives in Manalapan. The Gray Memorial scholarship, the framed and retired jersey (no Manalapan player ever will wear No. 14), the moment of silence for Chris before last year's season opener, it all “speaks to the Manalapan athletic community especially. It was a special place,” Rubin said. “They’ve done a great job of keeping his memory alive.”
Tim Gray lives in Hoboken. Every year this week, he has a postcard-worthy view of the two blue beams of light that temporarily fill in where the twin towers used to be. Another reminder of Chris. And that’s OK.
Last fall, Tim took his son to Manalapan High’s field for a game of catch — and a photo next to the No. 14 jersey mounted under the scoreboard. Thomas is 13 years old now.
“He started playing football this year.” Janet Gray said. “Chris is his hero.”
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Jerry Carino is community columnist for the Asbury Park Press, focusing on the Jersey Shore’s interesting people, inspiring stories and pressing issues. Contact him at jcarino@gannettnj.com.
This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Legacy lives for Manalapan QB, killed on 9/11, with scholarships
