How many other secret papers are still floating around? | Sam Venable
If not for its seriousness, the ever-evolving Case of the Classified Documents would be hilarious.
Actually, it already is.
Radio and TV hosts are having a field day. Hollywood scriptwriters are brainstorming plots for movies, sit-coms and documentaries. Perhaps casting calls have even gone out for actors in leading roles.
And that’s just based on what we know today. What fresh grist will be added to the mix by the middle of next week is anybody’s guess.
Of course, there are vast differences between the roundup of material from former President Donald Trump, current President Joe Biden and former veep Mike Pence.
By far, Trump leads in the volume of classified papers, their apparent secrecy and severity, and also the manner in which the feds took custody. Not to mention the plethora of flimsy excuses from the ex-prez.
Among gems coined by His Trumpness are (a) everything was planted by the FBI; (b) they were his to begin with; (c) and my favorite: he had the authority to declassify anything “just by thinking about it.”
None of that seems to be the case with Biden and Pence. Seems, I reiterate.
Their classified goofs, embarrassing as they may be, at least are bipartisan in nature. For now, they don’t appear to be much more serious than oversights due to hasty packing. But stay tuned. As they say in botanical circles: from tiny acorns do mighty oak trees grow.
All of which leads to a burning question that dates back to George Washington: “What else is out there?”
I don’t claim to be a historian. But I gotta think that after 246 years, 46 presidents and heaven only knows how many thousands of high-ranking officials in U.S. history, there’s a slew of top-secret government writs floating around, waiting to be discovered.
Why, for all we know, there’s a handwritten note from President John Kennedy in 1961.
“Memo to Joint Chiefs of Staff and Central Intelligence Agency: You fellows have bad info on Fidel Castro. I’ve got a personal spy stationed in Havana, and he says Castro’s a pushover."
“My guy’s name is George Santos. Yes, the same George Santos who planted the flag on Iwo Jima and invented the atomic bomb. He says Castro’s a two-bit nobody. George’s exact words to me were, ‘Boss, we can fool this stogie-puffing bumpkin with something as simple as a fruit plate.’
“So before this gadfly stirs up any more trouble, I hereby command full speed ahead with a tray of figs.”
Go ahead and jeer. When the book, the musical and the movie win dozens of awards, just remember you read it here first.
Sam Venable’s column appears every Sunday. Contact him at sam.venable@outlook.com.
This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Sam Venable: How many other secret papers are still floating around?
