How This Marie Kondo Couple Dealt With the Backlash
In Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, viewers get to watch the famed Japanese organizing expert visit various family homes to help them declutter. She implores them to ask difficult questions like, "Should I throw out all my books?" and, "Does this sweatshirt spark joy?"
In the first episode, Kondo floats into the Friend house, where Kevin and Rachel Friend are plagued by classic family problems: two kids + an overwhelming amount of dishes = mess. (They also caught a bit of flack on social media for their seemingly stereotypical gender roles and constant use of the pet name "babe".)
Here, Rachel explains why they are mostly unbothered by the comments, what it was really like to film the show, and how much KonMari-ing they've continued to do.
What happened the day after you finished filming? Did your house just turn into complete chaos?
The next day was very sad because there’s just something that her presence does to your house, just the air, that you've never experienced before. We were super sad she was gone but grateful for what she had done. Chaos for us doesn’t happen anymore. We’re able to take on things. Nothing overwhelms us anymore. Now, it's just our lifestyle.
Do you do laundry on your own now?
Oh yeah. That was a real legit thing. We let go of our laundry gal during the filming process, and we haven’t gone back. Even my friends joke, like, "You haven’t called her?" And I’m like, "Nope.
How did you feel watching your family on screen?
It was strange, because we didn’t know what they would show. It showed our story, but we do think a few things were taken out of context. The KonMari method has been our lifestyle, and now we’re just used to it. To watch that and remember the “before"... to be honest, we were thinking, Thank God we’re not going back there again.
What do you think was taken out of context?
There was so much love and positivity from the show. It showed our home and our relationship on camera-things we never expected-but we got some negative comments on social media about that as well. Some people said that Kevin has an old-school mentality, how he had expectations of me being a homemaker. It just couldn’t have been further from the truth. He is super supportive. We do everything together. It’s not like, “You do this,” and, “I do this.” We try to help each other when we can, but not everybody got that vibe.
He’s super helpful, and they didn’t show all that on the show. Things like him doing the dishes more than I do. If I know he’s going to be tired when he gets home from work I might just do all of it, so he doesn’t have to do it. And if I’m exhausted, he’ll do the same. We’re a pretty good team. But I think something that was taken out of context was that he expects me to do things. He’s never been like that. I wouldn’t be with someone like that.
Have you looked at any of the comments on social media? I don’t know if I’d be able to stop myself.
I’m mostly on Instagram and Facebook, and there have been a bunch of people who have reached out saying nice things about me nursing or my kids. We did have some close friends who would send me screenshots of comments about Kevin, and our friends would say, like, "Laughing my ass off ... if they only knew he did all the dishes at the house."
It’s interesting that people reached out to you about you nursing on camera. Did you think about that when you were filming?
It’s so weird, because I’ve always been an open nurser. So when we did the show, my daughter was there and asked for it. It was never a conversation-it was just the way that it was. I didn’t even think about it.
I still didn't think about it while I was watching the show. When people started responding to that, I was like, Holy shit. Wow! People were saying thank you, and I was like, "You’re welcome, but this is just how we do things."
You guys became known as the "babe" couple. What do you think about that?
I thought it was funny. A friend sent us a text before we watched the episode, like, "How are my favorite babes doing?" We were like, what? When we watched it, we weren’t thinking, Oh my gosh, we said that so many times. But a lot of people responded to us saying, "Oh my gosh, another couple who says it as much as us!" I heard some people were making drinking games out of how much we said it, which I think is awesome. It’s just how we address ourselves.
You’ve said you kept up most aspects of the KonMari method. Do you think this will stick with you and your family for the rest of your life?
One million percent. In terms of the lifestyle, I don’t want to go back. It works for us. I’m sure it will be something we incorporate even if we move. We can't take a break from it because, like she says in her book, if you tidy little by little you’ll be tidying forever. You have to fully commit to it and have that mentality.
If you could redo the filming process again, is there anything you would change?
Nothing about it. Even with the things taken out of context with Kevin, being here in the home during that entire process was a really cool journey. Very emotional.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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