Mark Lane: Merry Thanksgivemas! Time for holiday coexistence
There’s a shimmering white Christmas tree in my living room. A November sight never before spotted in my house.
I am one of those people who refuse to recognize the existence of the Christmas season until everyone has digested turkey leftovers and the hurricane season safely ends (which is Nov. 30, a day that deserves a holiday of its own). But this year, everything is speeding up. The December calendar has already tightened. So to give the tree the attention it demands, my wife decided more tree time must be carved out, and she pushed back tree assembly way early.
I am, it should be noted, a good sport about this. No Grinch here, so don’t get started on me. I just happen to believe that Thanksgiving is threatened by the Christmas Industrial Complex, which has been revving up since school started.
I expect my holidays to follow an orderly succession. That they should be unchanging stops along the subway line of the calendar year. Veterans Day, next stop, Thanksgiving! Watch the doors.
All this pre-pre-Christmas stuff bums me out because I have a particular affection for Thanksgiving, a holiday with a lot going for it. For instance, it’s just one day, not a season. This means the stakes are lower: one meal and done. I like a compact holiday. Less pressure. Nobody’s haunted by the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past or worries that they failed to get into the proper Thanksgiving spirit.
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Another good thing: It always falls on a Thursday for maximum disruption of the work week. This makes the next day a semi-holiday, another day off or a light workday, provided you aren’t in retail or hospital work.
But most of all, it’s a holiday that reminds me I’m more connected to wider circles of friends and family than I usually think about. Looking around the table can affirm that we are the core of a more numerous tribe than we’re generally aware of. A healthy thing to know. Something to be thankful for.
The great sorting hat of the holidays assigns us one of only three roles on Thanksgiving: We can be guests, hosts or nonparticipants.
As a student, a guy with jobs that involved working holidays and as a bachelor father, I spent years assigned the light duty of guesting.
That involved showing up with wine that costs 10% more than I’d usually buy (an undistinguished but frisky Shiraz, ignore that twist-off cap), helping keep kids and pets under control (including volunteering for the seat at the kids’ table if necessary), being entertaining but not distracting, prudently sidestepping known family controversies and shutting up about politics.
Nonparticipants work holiday shifts, are stuck on campus during the holiday, have found themselves abroad or otherwise away from their people that day. Been there only a few times.
The role of host was something I was flung into upon remarrying. My wife feels her holiday would be a sorry event should the Thanksgiving guest list fall into single digits. We annually host a mix of family, near-family, longtime friends, former coworkers, neighbors and strays. Chairs are retrieved from the garage, porch, backyard and guest rooms to accommodate them all. A folding card table is located, unboxed and unfolded. And to simulate an autumnal feel in the Sunshine State, the air conditioner’s thermostat is set low.
And this year, a new addition to the proceedings: A Christmas tree that looms over the usual pumpkin and earth-tone decorations. Merry Thanksgivemas!
This will not go unremarked upon by guests. I’ve expounded on my traditionalist philosophy of holiday succession verbally, in print and online, so I expect to be held to account. But a holiday devoted to celebrating our wider social bonds often means the more opinionated among us must roll with things if we want to stay in the real spirit of the day.
You won’t save Thanksgiving by arguing about it. Quite the contrary.
Besides, the smells and bustle will dominate the room. People will be at the door. Drinks will need to be refreshed and leftovers boxed. Photos taken. Celebrated right, it’s a holiday that refuses to be muscled aside.
Mark Lane is a News-Journal columnist. His email is mlanewrites@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Daytona Beach News-Journal: Mark Lane: Merry Thanksgivemas! Time for holiday coexistence
