Mark Woods: I asked ChatGPT to write my column for me

Dear readers,

Today, I'm handing over the reins of my newspaper column to a fascinating and innovative AI language model called ChatGPT. As a writer, I've always been intrigued by the advancements in technology and artificial intelligence, and I believe it's high time to explore what AI can bring to the world of journalism. So, here we are, with a bold experiment in embracing the future!

OK, to start with, I did not write any of the above words. ChatGPT did. So, yes, it described itself as “fascinating and innovative.” At least it didn’t also say modest.

With artificial intelligence making so much news, I told my editor that I was going to do a little experiment. I was going to give ChatGPT some topics and ask it to write columns. My editor liked this idea, maybe a bit too enthusiastically.

I’d never used ChatGPT before. It made me a little nervous when it asked for my name, date of birth, Social Security number, childhood pet’s name and all my passwords.

I’m kidding. It asked for a couple of pieces of information, sent me a confirmation code, and we were off to the races! (I quickly learned that ChatGPT likes using exclamation points when conducting this bold experiment!)

ChatGPT on Jaguars, JEA and more

I gave ChatGPT a prompt of: “Write a newspaper column with the topic of ‘I’m letting ChatGPT write my column.’”

It spit out the top of this column in a matter of seconds — a feat all of my editors will tell you I’m incapable of doing.

I can take hours, even days, to finish a column, finding many ways to procrastinate the actual writing. Want to get the dishes done? Ask me to write something. And even when I do start writing, the words come slowly. So to see ChatGPT crank out sentences and paragraphs was a bit daunting.

I asked ChatGPT to write a column about one of the hottest topics in Jacksonville today — the potential renovations of the football stadium.

A renovated Jaguars Stadium has the potential to transform our city's sports landscape and strengthen our collective spirit. This endeavor will not only provide incredible opportunities for our beloved team but also drive economic growth, build a sustainable future, and create a vibrant downtown hub that Jacksonville can be proud of. So let's embrace this exciting prospect and unite behind the Jaguars' vision as they endeavor to create a world-class stadium deserving of our city's passionate fans.

Some might say this reads a bit like an AI writing tool called ShadGPT.

I gave ChatGPT another prompt: Write a newspaper column about walking across Jacksonville, the largest city by land mass in the contiguous United States.

When it comes to exploring the vast urban landscapes of America, sometimes the best way to uncover hidden gems is by taking a stroll through a city's streets. And if you're up for an adventure, imagine walking across the largest city by land mass in the contiguous United States — the magnificent Jacksonville, Florida! In this sprawling metropolis, there's an abundance of sights, stories, and experiences waiting to be discovered, all under the power of your own two feet.

While some of this felt on the mark — the best way to see a place often is by foot — clearly ChatGPT never tried to cross some of Jacksonville’s streets. And it must've missed all the stories about Jacksonville being one of the most dangerous cities for pedestrians and bicyclists. Otherwise it wouldn’t have given this column a headline of: “A City Made For Walking.”

I also asked ChatGPT to write a column about the JEA scandal that led to federal indictments.

The JEA sale scandal has cast a shadow over Jacksonville's public utility and left citizens questioning the principles of transparency and accountability in local governance. The controversy surrounding the potential sale of JEA, the city's electric, water, and sewer utility, has raised serious concerns about the decision-making processes and the protection of public interests.

Speaking of JEA, ChatGPT didn’t even mention the attempted sale when I asked it to write a column about Lenny Curry leaving office after eight years as mayor. It came up with an interesting analysis, including:

One of the hallmarks of Curry's leadership was his dedication to engaging with the community and fostering collaboration. Whether through town hall meetings, community forums, or social media interactions, he made a concerted effort to listen to the concerns and aspirations of Jacksonville's diverse population. While not all issues were resolved to everyone's satisfaction, his commitment to open dialogue and transparency set a positive precedent for future administrations.

I asked ChatGPT to write a column about the new mayor, Donna Deegan.

History was made in Jacksonville as Donna Deegan was elected as the city's new mayor, signaling a significant shift in the political landscape. As the first woman to hold this prestigious office, Deegan's victory marks a groundbreaking moment, symbolizing progress and inclusivity in Jacksonville's leadership.”

I asked ChatGPT to write a column about the topic my colleague, Nate Monroe, tackled earlier in the week: Jacksonville's solid-waste fund and garbage collection.

Jacksonville's Solid-Waste Fund, an essential component of the city's waste management system, has been under scrutiny lately due to its financial challenges. As the heart of waste collection, recycling efforts, and landfill maintenance, the fund plays a pivotal role in keeping our city clean and sustainable. However, recent developments have raised concerns about its viability and efficacy.

Even while some of it rang true, it clearly didn’t pack the punch of a Nate Monroe column. It didn't say that "past city leaders decided to put politics back into trash and created one hot pile of garbage in the process."

I asked ChatGPT to write a column about one of the headlines from last week — Florida's Department of Education approving Black history standards, rejecting concerns about omitting and rewriting key historical facts. It came up with an analysis that FDOE also would approve.

In a significant stride towards promoting inclusivity and recognizing the vital contributions of African Americans to the state's history, Florida's Department of Education has taken a commendable step by approving new Black history standards for its schools. The move aims to enrich the curriculum with a comprehensive portrayal of Black history, ensuring that future generations learn about the struggles, triumphs, and resilience of Black Americans. However, as with any educational reform, there have been concerns raised about the possibility of omitting or rewriting key historical facts.

Through the years, I’ve written many columns about the Jacksonville Landing site. So I asked ChatGPT to take a swing at one.

The future of the Jacksonville Landing site promises a transformative journey for downtown Jacksonville. The city's leaders and citizens have the privilege and responsibility to mold this blank canvas into a vibrant and dynamic urban space.

I asked ChatGPT to, as I did a few years ago, write a column about going on “witch hunt,” finding and interviewing a self-proclaimed local witch after prominent politicians in Florida, from Corrine Brown to Donald Trump, kept using that expression.

Nestled in a cozy corner of Jacksonville, I met with Luna Nightshade, a self-identified witch and practitioner of Wicca, to gain insights into her perspective on the phrase "witch hunt." As she sipped her herbal tea, Luna spoke passionately about the importance of understanding the history behind the term and its consequences.

As best I can tell, there isn’t an actual Luna Nightshade nestled in any corner of Jacksonville. This is something that ChatGPT did often. It apparently made up people, places, facts.

When I asked it to write a column about Papachristou v. City of Jacksonville, a landmark Supreme Court case, it got the basic details very wrong, including Papachristou's first name and why she was arrested. And when I asked it to write a bio for me, it not only said I was born and raised in the Sunshine State, it described me as “esteemed” — a description that seemed less like praise when it later used this same adjective to describe “our esteemed lawmakers.” Made me wonder if ChatGPT uses sarcasm.

For the record, when I wrote a column about going on a witch hunt, I actually found one. She was named Stephanie and lived on the Southside.

Humans, heartstrings and humor

I prompted ChatGPT: Write a newspaper column about dropping your daughter off at college.

For parents, the moment of dropping our children off at college is a true rite of passage. The journey leading up to this day has been an extraordinary one, filled with laughter, tears, and a myriad of memories. From the first steps, hesitant words, to the proud accomplishments that shaped our children into young adults, we have been there every step of the way. Now, it's time to take a step back, to give them the wings they need to fly and navigate the world on their own.

Again, a lot of truth there. And I know my columns about Mia can be sappy, but the ChatGPT description felt like a series of Hallmark cards stitched together.

I asked ChatGPT to write humorous columns about a variety of topics, like when city lawyers declared that sometimes “shall” means “may.” That prompted me to create a “Duval Dictionary.” I prompted ChatGPT to do the same.

Welcome, dear readers, to the inaugural edition of The Duval Dictionary, your one-stop source for deciphering the perplexing language of city lawyers!  Our journey commences with the ever-fascinating word "shall." A simple three-letter word that causes more head-scratching than solving a Rubik's Cube in a room full of monkeys! In the realm of city lawyers, "shall" seems to have taken a shine to shape-shifting, transforming from "must" to "may" whenever it pleases!

Humor is challenging. So, it seems, is counting the letters in shall!

To be fair, humans make errors, too. We’re only human. We’re inherently flawed. But I want to believe that journalists — people who actually sit through City Council meetings, develop sources, walk through their city, talk to other people, sift through public records, and eventually sit down to write something — still will have a place in the future.

So, finally, I prompted ChatGPT: Write a newspaper column about why AI won't replace me.

While AI may continue to enhance various industries and streamline processes, it cannot replace the distinct value that human writers, journalists, and columnists bring to the table. Our creative flair, emotional intelligence, and adaptability make us irreplaceable.

I started to write that I couldn't have said this better, and certainly couldn't have written it faster, but I don't want to give the bosses any ideas.

mwoods@jacksonville.com, (904) 359-4212

This article originally appeared on Florida Times-Union: Times-Union columnist asks AI ChatGPT to write column