Matthew Brown: COLUMN: No slapping matter
Jun. 8—Tommy Pham must have been stewing for months. Memorial Day weekend couldn't come soon enough in his quest for retribution.
When I found out this professional baseball player, currently with the Cincinnati Reds, had a vendetta against Joc Pederson — he with the World Series ring while with the 2021 Atlanta Braves but now with the San Francisco Giants — over fantasy football ... and I remind you this came to light Memorial Day weekend ... I could only think, "There's fantasy leagues for USFL players?"
No, while the USFL still has another week to do, this spat goes back to the 2021 season, probably when Pederson was well past celebrating championship triumph with the Braves.
Here, we get a look into the dark underbelly of fantasy football. Kind of like how these new versions of "Fantasy Island" have a much more serious tone than the campy original with Mr. Roarke and his little buddy.
There was a 'code' Pederson broke. This was no petty grudge for Pham, for there was big money involved. Never mind any news happening elsewhere in the country that might make all of this seem petty, for Pham received his inspiration from the occurrences on Oscar night and knew what he had to do.
Do I want to know the specifics of what Pederson did to infuriate a fellow fantasy leaguer? No. Do I want to understand fantasy sports at all? Not in this day and age, where it not only involves football but extends to the sport those guys play and even basketball.
Besides, what do they know about fantasy sports? Let me take you again to the late 1970s, where my fellow lower school tykes and I from The Heritage School over in Newnan, Georgia, put down serious action week after week on the original fantasy games. Every Saturday morning, I'm there in front of the television set after its five-minute warm-up to check out the results of the Laff-A-Lympics.
Don't tell me about a circus trip to Atlanta. We don't have a VCR yet, and I must know who won what and did they make the over/under on the point totals.
My Monopoly money was always on the Scooby-Doo team. We had the Blue Falcon, Speed Buggy and Captain Caveman. What did Yogi Bear have? A duck, a bunch of mice ... oh, yeah, a 20-foot purple ape. Talk about the original ringer.
How about that Rotten team? Never concerned myself with them. Always cheated, always got caught.
Speaking of cheating, if anyone tried to take action on the Wacky Races at Heritage, you knew it was a scam. Those were reruns from the late 1960s. Don't make me go all Moe Howard on anyone. I'll throw in a two-finger eye poke and double ear twist, the things Pham and Will Smith don't seem to have in their arsenal.
Mike Trout, the commissioner of this fantasy league and new reported target of Pham's ire, appears to be safe, since the Reds don't play the L.A. Angels. Come to think of it, there's always the trade deadline and the Texas Rangers needing some extra punch.
Or maybe you need some protection behind Trout on your team. Not that I'm keeping up, but look elsewhere. Pham is only ranked 171 on one list.
